Shattered Illusions
by Dark-Angel-XX
Summary: Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion. Taito
1. Prologue

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary:_ Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Arrgggh! My old account has been deactivated! I seriously want to kill the fucker that reported me. Thanks a lot; I've lost many reviews for fifteen odd stories thanks to you (Including le epic Feelings!). I really hope you feel good about yourself, really I do. Fanfiction (dot) net, you're very rude for not notifying me about closing my account. Still, you reporting little fuckers can't stop me! Report me all you want :P I'll just keep coming back with my wonderful kinky yaoi!

Anyways, rant over. Time to introduce this story for the second time. _–sighs- _(Note that the title has been changed! Sounds a lot better me thinks).

Well yeah, I decided to post this story up to give people a taste of what the style of writing in **'Everlasting Love' **(The sequel to Feelings, which I may now mod up and re post on this new account of mine) will be like. The style of this story will be more mature and dark which is how I typically write my original stories on fictionpress (dot) com (Who are nice and haven't closed my account).

This story isn't going to be all sugary sweet, I've never really written with that sort of style (People that have read Feelings will know that). I like to focus on the grim realism of certain issues in life so prepare yourself for an angst filled sandwich.

Ok, the prologue is going to be in Matt's point of view, and the rest of the chapters will be in third person.

Ok enough of me blabbing. Read on and enjoy.

**Rating:** **M** (To be on the safe side, ey?)

**Warnings:** Mention of blood, nudity and implications of rape

oooooooo

Prologue 

oooooooo

I knew something was very wrong the very moment I reached the apartment block stairs. A sickening feeling lurched through my stomach as I gazed up the stairs for a split second, the smell of cigarette smoke and alcohol hung evidently in the air screaming to me that _they_ had already been here. I was too late. Anger suddenly rushed through me; I let out a small-frustrated cry before I ran up the stone stairs, skipping two steps at a time until I had reached the right floor. I paused for a few seconds to regain my breath.

I was drenched and shivering a little because of the rain that had soaked me earlier on when I had rushed over here. My heart was slamming violently against my chest as I started to take small shaky steps along the pathway, those small steps soon evolved into huge strides as I grew more worried about my friend's.. no screw that.. my lover's safety. I really regretted getting him involved with all this; it just was not worth the risk. I had promised to help him, to give him freedom but I had totally betrayed him.

My eyes were soon starring emptily at the door to his apartment, I refused to let the tears that were threatening to blur my vision escape from my eyes as I studied the white door, which was open ajar, and had traces of dark red blood spread across it. I feared and expected the worse as I slowly pushed my hand against the door; I shivered a little as it creaked loudly on its hinges. I stepped bravely into the apartment that was as black as coal.

The apartment purely smelt of death with just a trace of his beautiful scent. My hand instantly fumbled around for the light switch while my eyes attempted to adjust to the darkness. I cursed silently under my breath when I failed to find the light switch. I thought for a few seconds before I reached into my jeans pocket and dug around for my lighter. Once I found it I tugged it out and with it firmly gripped firmly in my hand I use my thumb to flick the flame up. Despite the flame was small and feeble it allowed me to familiarise with my surroundings a little better. 

The living room was in a right mess with overturned furniture and shattered photo frames spread across the laminated flooring. My eyes stayed focus on the floor and I walked towards the bedroom door. I froze on the spot when I saw small droplets of blood mixed with shards of broke glass gathered a few centimetres away from the door.

" Taichi," Was the name that escaped from my lips oh so naturally and fluently with an edge of passion to it making it almost sound just like the times I had called out his name during our love making, only this time there was an evident pinch of worry to my voice. I was startled when I heard a weak murmur come from inside the room as I pushed the door open slowly. My hand instantly felt for the dimmer switch.

" No," A weak but yet gorgeous voice muttered from the far end of the room causing me to immediately to move my hand away from the light switch as if I had just touched a hot iron. I let out a small whimper of panic as I glanced over at where the voice had come from and automatically found my feet rushing towards the figure resting limply against the wall, next to the single bed we had made love in countless of times. I shaking clearly when I knelt down on the floor, I used the flame from my lighter to examine my beautiful Chi.

To my relief his handsome face was unmarked, however, I soon realised that my poor baby was totally naked and his body was covered in countless cuts and forming bruises. It took me a few more seconds to realise that those cuts were knife wounds and that the whole of his chest was almost covered entirely with warm, wet blood. Tears stung my vision as I gazed back at his face, his eyes were barely open but I could see a glimmer of pain in his sweet chocolate brown eyes.

" Yama," He rasped feebly before he violently coughed up a mouthful of blood. I dropped my lighter onto the floor and scooped his body up onto my lap allowing the back of his head to rest limply on my shoulder. I was no fool. I knew he was dying but part of me wanted to deny that he was.

" Shh, it's ok Chi," I cooed as if he was just a child, which was far from the truth because despite the annoying hyper moods he went into at times he was mature as hell. I still thought that even when he started to sob quietly in fear and pain. He was no fool himself, he realised that he was dying.

" It hurts," Tai whispered, his voice filled with distress as one of his hands gripped tightly onto my drenched t-shirt. I held him closely realising he had been fatally stabbed. I could hear his breathing become more and more laboured.

" I'm sorry, Tai," I stuttered while tears trickled hopelessly down my face. My boyfriend was dying because of me, because I had got him involved with my life. I had thought myself as blessed when I first met Taichi Yagami at college around a year ago. It was a chance meeting, an act of fate if you wish to call it that. But fate is such a cruel thing and always ends up hurting the ones you love the most.

Unlike fairytales, real stories never have a happy ending.

oooooooo

D-Angel: So yeah.. That's the prologue.. Short but not so sweet :( Now, the next plenty of chapters will be set in the past beginning at the point where Matt first met Tai. Chapter one will be posted up whenever I can, which is difficult seeing as I have exams now. So that may not be until early June. Thanks for reading and please remember the review of your way out (Please review again if you reviewed this story on my old account! I'd be grateful if you did!)

See ya next chapter.

¬D-Angel¬

25/05/05

28/04/05 : Title has been changed from Shattered Hearts Broken Dreams to Shattered Illusions, which in my opinion sounds a lot better and fits the themes of this story very well.


	2. Chapter 1: The Fateful Encounter

**_Shattered Illusions_**

_Summary:_ Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty.

D-Angel: Thank you very much for all your reviews so far! You guys are great :) I know me having to post all this up again is annoying for those that have already read the first few chapters, but hey, blame the person that reported my old account.

Well anyway, this chapter and next few until the final chapter will be set a year before the prologue occurred. This chapter has also been written in third person view. I don't know what else I can say about this chapter.. It's not the most action-packed to be honest, but the aim was to establish the setting and introduce certain characters before the real fun occurs, if you wish to call it that ;)

Ok, that's all I want to say, please read on and enjoy :)

**Warnings:** Some strong language and the suggestion of homosexuality

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Chapter 1 The Fateful Encounter

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He was nervous but to be fair it was his first day of university. Running his fingers through his golden blond hair he glanced down at the piece of paper gripped in his right hand before he starred up at the room number on the door. To his relief the number on the door matched the one on the piece of paper. He dropped the bag he had heaved over his right shoulder and gentle lowered his guitar case onto the floor before he reached into his jeans pocket to fish out the door key.

After unlocking the door he nudged the door open while picking his belongings up at the same time. The room was of an average size and was laid out well. There two beds that were spread apart at a fair distance, on one of these beds sat a young man with animated blue eyes and seriously spiky brown hair. A wide grin was on his face as he suddenly jumped off the bed and approached the stranger that had just wandered into the room.

"Hey, I'm your roommate, Timmy Kent!" He greeted his voice sounded soft, deep and lively. He politely held out his hand.

"Yamato Ishida," The blond haired teenager simply said, he gripped Timmy's warm slim hand for a few moments before he let go and approached the spare bed. He was aware that Timmy was watching when he placed his bag and guitar case onto the bed.

"Ohh you're a musician as well!" Timmy exclaimed sitting himself on the edge of Matt's bed glancing with interest at the guitar case. Matt protectively picked up his guitar case before he unzipped it and pulled out a beautiful silver and black Yamaha Pacifica rhythm guitar. Timmy's bright blue eyes instantly lit up making him look like an excited child at Christmas.

"Wow," Timmy gasped admiring the beauty that was rested in Matt's arms, "How much?"

" Enough," Matt replied in a secretive manner as he strummed his fingers gently across the strings. He half shut his light blue eyes as the chord that he had just played softly flooded through the atmosphere for a few seconds before it gently faded away.

" How long have you been playing?" Timmy questioned as he sat down besides Matt. Matt carefully placed his guitar on the floor so that it was standing upright and leaning against the bed for support. He flicked a few strands away from his brow.

" Almost eleven years," Matt explained as a small smile played on his lips. Timmy's eyes started to sparkle with even more joy.

" Wow, I play keyboard and I've only been playing for eight years or so," Timmy explained almost sheepishly, he leant back a little and starred up at the ceiling. Matt got off the bed and placed his guitar back into the case before he starred in slight annoyance at Timmy whose head was resting on his bag of clothes. He sighed to himself quietly before deciding to look out the small window that faced opposite the room door.

The view was not that great. A tree took up half the view, and the other half was no better revealing a small section of the Odaiba University's football pitch (A/n: Football as in soccer). He turned his head from the window and jumped a little when he realised Timmy was standing next to him.

" Officially the worst room if you're after a window with a beautiful view," Timmy stated the obvious, " Unless watching a load of guys playing football in tight shorts does it for you." He winked playfully after saying the last bit of his speech. Matt managed not to blush at Timmy's teasing words. He glanced out the window again and noticed that a few men were having a game of footy on the green outside.

" Sorry Yamato, I've got to see my mate James now but I should be back in half an hour or so to give you a tour of the campus," Timmy kindly explained.

" That's fine," Matt replied back as he moved his glance away from the window again and studied the young man that was a couple of inches taller than him. He could have sworn that Timmy blushed when he did so.

" Ok, be seeing ya later!" Timmy exclaimed before he cheerfully left the room.

As soon as Timmy shut the door behind him the atmosphere in the room suddenly became cold and icy, as if the upbeat and positive vibe that was in room before had escaped with Timmy. Matt starred around the room blankly as an uneasy feeling lurched in his stomach. His blue eyes widened in slight fear. He was certain that someone was watching him and automatically felt the need to escape from this room.

Making sure that his room key was in his pocket he quickly hurried out the room and jogged down the corridor towards the double set of doors that led into the university's main lobby. A few students were gathered there and Matt guessed that some of them were newcomers like him that had arrived here a couple of weeks later after the new term had officially started. Some of them gave him strange looks as he walked in a hurried manner past them and towards the huge set of transparent automatic doors that led to campus's courtyard.

The fresh autumn air brushed gently through his golden hair as he slowed his pace and walked along the path that led to the left side of the campus. He barely focused on the stunning scenery that surrounded him as he approached the nearest wooden bench. Once he had sat down he casually tugged a packet of cigarettes out from his jeans pocket before he unfolded the lid of the pack and pulled out a cigarette. He placed it between his lips as he put the pack back and then pulled out his lighter. He concentrated carefully as he cupped his left hand over the cigarette then used the lighter gripped in his right hand to ignite the fag in his mouth.

Matt took a huge drag from the cigarette before moving the fag from his mouth before exhaling out the smoke and sighing in relief. As he slid the lighter back into his pocket, something or rather someone caught the corner of his eye. He gazed in front of him and realised that opposite him was the same football field he could see from him dormitory window, but that had not been what struck his eye. One of the football players stood out from all the rest. He was skilful, fast and very beautiful with bright brown eyes and messy, but yet at the same time not so messy, brown hair.

' They never had them as beautiful as that back in Yamanoshi,' Matt thought to himself, his body tingled with slight excitement when the handsome young man glanced over at him for a few seconds before he continued to play football.

The blond watched and studied the young brown haired man throughout the duration of the football game he was playing. The brown-eyed boy looked dedicated and confident throughout the whole game so it was no surprise when he jumped up and punched the air in joy when he scored the winning goal. His team-mates patted his back roughly and ruffled his hair, which Matt gathered was their way of celebrating the brown haired beauty's fantastic goal.

Matt turned his glance to a young couple that had just passed him and sneered when he noticed that they were holding hands and giggling quietly about something.

' I'll give them two weeks, then she'll have a one night stand and break his heart,' Matt thought bitterly recalling on his past experience with women. He took yet another long drag from the third cigarette he had smoked since he had sat down on the bench before he noticed that the handsome brown haired man was walking towards him. He remained cool when the brunette had reached the bench and watched as the young man, who had a rather lovely slender and toned body, slumped down next to him and pulled a bottle of water from his small drawstring backpack.

The urge to kiss the brown eyed guy's parted lips as he gulped down a mouthful water became even more difficult control, Matt pulled the cigarette from his mouth and carelessly allowed a cloud of smoke to escape from his red slender lips.

" You could get kicked out of this university for smoking on the premises," A cocky but yet very soft and harmless voice explained. Yamato turned his head and looked at the source of voice before he rolled his bright azure eyes.

" I couldn't care less," Matt replied back frostily before he flicked the finished cigarette onto the ground. He then stood up shocked when the brunette imitated his action. Matt turned sharply to face the cute guy that was slightly shorter than him but was clearly more muscular than him. Yamato went to shoot an icy glare at the brunette when he noticed that small-amused smile was playing on his kissable lips.

"You know something, you're the only guy I know that makes smoking look cool," The brunette explained, he starred down at the burning cigarette on the ground for a few seconds before he glanced back at Matt. He then bent down a little so he was able to put his bottle of water back into his bag; Matt admired his slim lean body as he did so. The brunette then threw his bag over his right shoulder very much aware that Matt was starring at him.

" You're a guy of few words I see," He said playfully as he starred at Matt's hypnotising blue for a few seconds before Matt broke their eye contact and half smirked before he started to stroll back towards the dormitory block, he was hardly surprised when then brunette started to follow him.

" I'm Taichi Yagami by the way!" The young man cheerfully explained as he walked alongside Matt hardly having to try to keep up with the fast pace the blond was walking at. At the mention of the brunette's name Matt stopped walking and faced the handsome young man who looked slightly confused.

" You know something," Matt began, a smile appeared on his face as he continued to speak, "You're the reason why I sat there and watched the whole of that game." He then studied Taichi's face for a few moments wondering how the brunette would react to his very obvious chat up line. He was slightly surprised when a glimmer of excitement appeared in Taichi's big brown eyes.

" Really! I was that good, huh?" Taichi childishly bragged, sounding rather innocent and totally oblivious to Matt's blatant flirting. Despite his stunning looks it was apparent to Matt that there was a possibility that Taichi had the mind and attitude of a young boy, either that or he was plain idiotic, which Matt doubted somehow.

The blond continued his trek back to his dormitory room growing slightly irritated by Taichi who was now chatting about how much he loved football and was actually starting to sound like he was talking about a person rather than a well know world wide sport. When they had reached the entrance of the building Matt turned to face Taichi with a peeved expression on his face.

" Don't you ever shut up?" Matt snapped harshly, he instantly mentally kicked himself when he saw a pained look appear on Taichi's innocent looking face. The brunette's eyebrows then folded inwards, he clenched his fists tightly as he starred into Matt's ice-cold blue eyes.

" I was only trying to have a conversation with you!" Taichi replied back in defence is a gruff and angered tone of voice. He then folded his arms and pouted out his bottom lip like a child before glancing at Matt again. The blond sighed evidentially before he spun around and walked through the transparent automatic doors that led into the main lobby. He strolled slowly towards the door that led to the corridor where his dormitory room was. Taichi continued to follow him making it clear to Matt that he was persistent and not really angered by the fact he had been yelled out for blabbering on about his love for football.

" If you don't mind me asking, what's your name?" Taichi questioned watching as Matt dug into his jeans pocket to search for his room key. The blond pulled out his key then purposely flicked a few strands of his hair away from his brow in a sexy manner before slamming the key hard into the lock.

" Yamato Ishida," Matt softly replied without turning to look at the handsome teenager, his slim fingers then grasped the key and turned it clockwise to open the door. As the door clicked open Matt was a little surprised when Taichi grabbed his arm to stop him walking in the room straight away.

" Hey, Yamato, do you fancy going out with me tonight?" Taichi asked, he then blushed apparently before he moved his hand from Matt's arm and quickly added, "…And a few of my mates, obviously."

It was at that moment that Taichi's big chocolate brown eyes melted Matt's ice-cold blue eyes, but neither boy realised at that moment that there was crystal clear chemistry between them. Matt nodded his head vaguely before he pushed the door open.

" Alright then," He gently said in response. He then stepped into the room and was immediately greeted by the ever-smiling Timmy who had a chocolate bar in his hand. Timmy then peered over Matt's shoulder and waved excitedly when he saw Taichi standing at the doorway.

" Tai! How are you?" Timmy asked, Matt stepped out the way so Tai could walk into the room and greet Timmy. The two brunettes started to chat away to one another ignoring Matt's presence unintentionally as he closed the door and made his way towards his bed. He was glad to see that his belongings were where he left them and that nothing had been moved or touched. Matt then stared at his fingers before yearningly looking down at his guitar, desperate to strum his fingers gently across its strings and make sweet music.

" Yamato, are you hanging out with our gang tonight then?" Timmy then questioned, allowing Matt to become part of the conversation.

Matt's gaze moved from his guitar to Taichi who was giving him an apparent look of persuasion. Matt felt slightly excited as he realised that the beautiful stranger he had met not long ago now wanted to be his friend. It just did not seem real. It was like history was repeating itself all over again; only this time it was far more thrilling and the guy was very handsome and a lot more naïve.

" Yeah sure," Matt replied giving Tai a blatant suggestive look as he answered Timmy's question. The blond was satisfied when he saw Tai blush a light shade of crimson.

" I'll warn you now, Tai is such a light weight! He gets pissed after two beers," Timmy teased. He had to duck out the way when Taichi playfully swiped at him. Timmy chuckled light-heartedly before he swung his arm around the young man who was now frowning on purpose to gain attention.

" Sorry, Tai, but you know it's true," Timmy smirked. Yamato looked back over at Tai who was blushing in even more shame. However, Matt was a little shocked when he caught a glimpse of a strange glimmer in Taichi's eyes. A glimmer that was beckoning and rather seductive and revealed to Matt that Tai probably was not as innocent or immature as he looked. Even still, that small glimmer in his eyes was not enough to convince Matt fully. He wanted to find out for himself just how innocent Tai was.

To do that, though, would mean that there was a risk that Matt would accidentally break him.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

" Guys, this is Yamato Ishida! He's my new roommate!" Timmy proudly announced as he walked into one of the rehearsal rooms in the university's music block. Two heads looked over at the door in curiosity.

Yamato smiled casually as he tightened his grasp around his guitar case and slowly followed Timmy into the room. The cheerfully brunette ran over to the two young men that were sitting on chairs near the far end of the room. One of men was holding a bass guitar in his hands, while the other was sitting next to a drum kit and was clutching a pair of drumsticks in his hands.

" This is James," Timmy explained pointing at the guy next to the drum kit who had black hair with red highlights, " He's English, hence his 'beautiful' looks," The brunette added in a slight sarcastic tone of voice. Timmy soon found himself being attacked by two flying drumsticks.

" And he gets hyper on sugar," The guy holding the bass guitar added, he then flashed an adorable smile at Matt," I'm Marco by the way."

Timmy slipped back over to where Matt was standing and whispered into his ear, "Watch out for him, he'll try and get into your pants whenever he gets the opportunity to, so don't be fooled by those cute smiles of his."

Matt glanced over at Marco who was still looking over at him with a sweet smile on his face. The blond sneered inwardly; he was too familiar with people that were like Marco. They'd do anything to get a fuck.

" You play rhythm or bass?" James asked Yamato as he and Timmy had sat down on a couple of empty chairs next to the other two musicians. The blond carefully un-zipped his guitar case and pulled out his beautiful guitar.

" I play both, though I am more comfortable with playing rhythm," Matt admitted as he rested the guitar on his lap. He frowned in irritation when Marco's hand placed itself on his leg.

" I bet you are," Marco purred suggestively as he ran his tongue across his upper lip.

' Talk about being blatant' Matt sighed to himself in thought as he sadly studied the young man's face. He could not deny, however, that Marco had amazing eyes; one being a dark emerald green colour while the other was a shade of calm sapphire. Both eyes, though, revealed that Marco craved love and affection.

' He's just lonely,' Matt thought rather solemnly. ' He's lonely, like me.."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

D-Angel: I'm sorry if that was too heavy/lame/boring for a first chapter -.- I promise you that the next chapter is going to be much more interesting

Tai: That's because we learn more about my amazing life!

D-Angel: _-Rolls eyes-_ Oh and naughty Matt! He's a smoker in this story. I _know _smoking isn't cool but it looks cool when hot anime characters do it (e.g. Eiri Yuki _–licks lips-_).

Matt: Typical Darky, lusting over anime characters

D-Angel: Damn right, at least they can't complain if I flirt with another guy. ;)

Anyways, chapter 2 should be posted up next weekend, most likely anyways seeing as it has already been written. E-mail me (on dark _–underscore-_ angel3100 _-at-_ hotmail _-dot-_ com) if you have any questions or suggestions for this story or any others. Thanks for reading, and remember to review on your way out ;)

See ya next chapter

D-Angel-

14/06/05


	3. Chapter 2: Freedom

_**Shattered Illusions  
**_

_Summary:_ Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Hey guys! Welcome to chapter 2 of **'Shattered Illusions'**. Thanks for all the reviews so far ;) Bleh, I'm really hoping that this writing style isn't too boring. I've attempted to jazz things up this chapter, so hopefully you guys will like :)

Tai: I think they will ;)

Matt: Ohh! Do me and Tai sha…

D-Angel: … Ahem, Yama, don't get the readers all excited before they've even started to read this chapter.

Matt: Oh, my bad!

D-Angel: Anyways, read on and enjoy!

**Warnings:** Strong language, mention/usage of drugs, slight guy on guy (Naturally), and loads of angst

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Chapter 2 Freedom

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Taichi starred deeply at his reflection in the mirror after he had brushed his hair. The brunette was aware that he was good looking, but it was something that he never bragged about. Unlike football, which was something he made sure everyone knew he was great at. So when he had spotted Yamato Ishida watching him as he was playing football earlier on he naturally had to walk over to guy at the end of his game, just so he could let Yamato know how much he loved football.

However, Tai was unable to believe just how cool and relaxed the blond haired man appeared to be while he was speaking to him. Yamato seemed so carefree, not worried at all that he could have been caught smoking on the university's premises. And there were also his eyes, those amazingly beautiful ice blue eyes that showed little emotion whatsoever and were probably capable of freezing someone dead on the spot.

Tai shivered a little when he heard Yamato's silky and very sexy voice echo through his head. That laid back voice that was also coated with ice, as if preventing people from getting too close.

But still, when Yamato's icy exterior was dismissed…

"… He's flawless," Tai suddenly whispered out loud, immediately regretting what he had said when he remembered that his best friend was sitting on the edge of his bed. Sora Takenouchi was patiently waiting for him to get ready so that he could drive her up to the club where everyone was meeting tonight. She narrowed her cinnamon coloured eyes as he spun around to face her.

"Who's flawless?" Sora enquired in a strong tone of voice, demanding to know who the person was. Tai let out a small nervous laugh as he attempted to come up with a reasonable excuse. Tai knew just how jealous Sora could become whenever he dared to compliment another girl's name in her presence, so he dreaded to think how Sora would react if she found out he was thinking about a _guy _in such a way.

" Oh.. well.." Tai stuttered, a dangerous sparkle suddenly appeared in Sora's eyes warning Tai that he would be killed painfully if he ever did lie to her. He sighed before glancing down at the horrible brown carpet that covered the floor in his dormitory room.

" This guy I saw earlier on today. I have never met someone as cool as him; he doesn't seem to have faults whatsoever," Tai explained as he raised his head again so he could see Sora's reaction to what he had just said.

" That can't make him flawless, think about it Tai," Sora replied as she stood up and smoothed down the leather coat she was wearing, "His imperfections can be drawn from the fact that he appears to be perfect."

Tai tilted his head to the side in confusion. He rarely understood what Sora was talking about half the time.

" Ugh, let me dumb it down for you Tai," Sora sighed as she walked over to the chair that Tai was sitting on, " No matter how perfect he may look, he probably has faults like the rest of us. No ones perfect."

" Whatever. Sora, you'll see what I'm talking about when you see him tonight," Tai muttered as he pushed the chair back and rose to his feet. He felt slightly agitated because Sora was challenging what he was saying. She always did though. Tai smirked to himself when he realised that was _her _flaw.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Tai's eyes were immediately drawn to Yamato Ishida the moment he approached club building. The blond was leaning against the brick wall coolly as if he were a model. His blue eyes were partly shut and a relaxed expression was pasted on his pale and almost feminine shaped face. A cigarette rested idly between his perfect red lips, reminding Tai on how Yamato made smoking look so cool. The brunette's glance then moved down to Yamato's clothing; a dark blue shirt which was buttoned up halfway and revealed a fair amount of his pale, hairless, toned chest. A pair of loose black jeans covered his legs somehow managing to compliment his slim figure perfectly.

' I never knew it was possible for a guy to look _that _hot,' Tai thought, he was now standing inches away from Yamato and was aware that he was blushing slightly.

" Yo, Tai! Are Meems and Iz coming tonight?" Timmy's enthusiastic voice asked, shattering the weird tension that Tai was feeling when he was gawping at Yamato like an idiot. Tai turned his head and saw that Timmy was standing right next to him.

" Er.. I think Mimi is, but Izzy can't because he's got some 'important' programming to do or something," Tai explained sounding a little embarrassed. He was glad when no one picked up on the embarrassment that was present in his voice. Timmy rolled his eyes then started to chat to Sora.

" Yamato, how's it going?" Tai cheerfully questioned with a confident grin spread across his face. Tai watched as Yamato raised his hand and slowly pull the cigarette he was smoking away from his lips, using his index and middle finger, before deliberately blowing a ring of smoke in Tai's face. Tai frowned and coughed a little as the smoke crept up his nose.

' Arrogant twat,' Tai's thoughts grumbled, clearly not liking Yamato's 'I'm too cool for words' attitude. Tai opened his mouth in preparation to tell Yamato off before a hand landed firmly on his shoulder causing him to jump evidently. Tai's eyebrows creased inwards yet again when Sora's arm crept around his neck. She grinned in a drunken fashion.

" Isn't he the cutest?" Sora jokingly smirked as if she was selling a puppy to a small child. Tai's eyes narrowed in irritation as Sora playfully nudged him before she tried to lock her eyes with Yamato's. Tai felt his face burn with embarrassment and anger. He was aware that Sora was doing this deliberately. She always did when Tai spoke to a girl that she knew he liked in order to put them right of the scent.

Tai managed to look into Yamato's eyes and instantly froze as he did. A wicked ice-cold glimmer had glazed over his bright blue eyes. Tai felt his heart beat increase dramatically as Yamato half-smiled in a playful manner.

" Nah, I've seen cuter," Yamato said slyly in a flat, icy but yet seductive tone of voice, intentionally keeping his eyes locked with Tai as he spoke. He then openly winked at Tai before he casually flicked his cigarette onto the floor then turned and followed Timmy and a few other people into the club.

Tai felt numb and not to mention confused. He ran his fingers through his mop of brown hair before Sora tightened her embrace on him, as if she was comforting him because of some girl that had harshly rejected him. But Yamato was no girl, and also he had not harshly rejected Tai, he had just merely said that Tai was not as cute as Sora was making out to be.

" Is he that _flawless _guy you were going on about earlier?" Sora questioned as they started to walk into the club. Tai grumbled when he heard the obvious sarcasm that was soaked in her voice.

" Yeah, Yamato Ishida," Tai muttered quietly, attempting to hide the strong anger he was feeling towards Sora at that moment in time. That bitch always managed to make every person that she knew who he had some sort of attraction towards, instantly put off by him. Tai realised it was purely out of her jealously, seeing as she had made it clear to him on several occasions that she fancied him. Tai had also tried to get Sora to understand that he only saw her as a friend, but so far had had little avail.

" You fancy _that _creep? Seriously Tai, I have no problem whatsoever with you being bisexual but…"

" Whoah, since when did I say that I was bi?" Tai asked in defence, a few people gave him funny looks as he sat down on one of the stools at the bar. He ignored their mixed expressions, though, as he gazed around the busy club, searching for the blond haired man he was becoming addicted to.

" What will it be, son?" A gruff middle aged voice asked loudly enough so that it was heard above the extremely loud pounding music. Tai turned his head and saw that the barman was leaning against his side of the bar awaiting his order. By the slightly frustrated expression on his face, Tai gathered that the barman had been standing there for quite some time.

" Oh, erm, vodka and coke please," Tai said, stuttering a little when he spotted Yamato out of the corner of his eye. The barman nodded then yelled the order to some nervous young girl who was struggling to balance the stack of glasses she was carrying towards the sink. She smiled slightly in success when she reached the sink and lowered them into the washing up bowl.

" Tai, don't try to deny what you are," Sora sighed once they had both been given their drinks. Tai took a huge gulp of his vodka and coke, before he placed the glass back onto the surface of the bar and ran his index finger around the rim of the glass.

" I'm not denying, I just happen to find this one guy amazingly cool and _slightly _hot, which doesn't make me bisexual." Tai explained, he slowly moved his fingers away from the glass. At that moment Tai noticed that Sora had pulled something out of her handbag, but he thought nothing of it at the time.

" Oh, then what would you call it? I mean, you've just admitted that you're attracted to _that_ Yamato guy and I know that you've fancied girls in the past. Fancying both males and females makes you bisexual. Simple." Sora announced as if she knew it all. Tai rolled his eyes before he moved his glance away from her and looked around once again for Yamato. Tai soon gave up again, so he turned around and grabbed his drink. He downed the remaining alcoholic liquid that was in the glass, unaware that a sly smile had appeared on Sora's face.

Suddenly, a hand clasped around Tai's arm causing the glass he was holding to fall onto the bar, without breaking luckily. The smile on Sora's face faded as quickly as it had appeared.

" Tai, you boring bastard! Come and dance with us!" Timmy's voice almost drowned out the loud dance music that was echoing throughout the club. He yanked Tai up to his feet then hurriedly dragged him into the middle of the 'dance floor'. When Timmy let go off his arm, Tai realised that something was wrong. He was starting to feel woozy; beads of sweat were trickling down his forehead. Tai continued to dance with Timmy, James, Marco and a few other lads, however, until the pounding music started to hammer violently through his head causing him to stumble forward and grip onto Timmy.

" God! I can't believe that you're pissed already." Timmy sighed almost out of embarrassment as Tai tried to regain his balance. The bright flashing disco lights were now dancing around wildly in front of Tai's eyes.

" I'm fine!" Tai snapped, though he knew that he wasn't. Energy was rushing through his body like never before; his heart was pounding heavily against his chest. His surroundings were starting to become unfamiliar; they seemed so much brighter and intense. He did not like it one bit.

" Hey, where you going?" James voice asked. Tai dashed off and headed towards the far end of the club. The brunette thought that everyone was looking at him strangely, wondering why he was running blindly off the dance floor. He suddenly crashed into someone very beautiful. The person had such angelic features and passionate bright blue eyes. Tai clung onto the person tightly.

" Help me, please!" Tai cried out in fear, his head was now throbbing and his vision had become slightly impaired. So much energy was buzzing throughout him; blood was pumping like crazy around his body. He desperately looked into the eyes of Yamato before he blacked out.

The next thing he knew, he was outside spread out across the pavement with his head resting on someone's lap. Yamato was sitting besides him sympathetically running his fingers through Tai's damp brown hair. The brunette felt tired and weak and not to mention a little chilly. He soon realised that the reason was because he was topless.

" Ngh.." Tai murmured unable to talk properly because his jaw felt tight. He attempted to sit up but his limbs felt too stiff.

" Don't try to move," Yamato explained, " I'll carry you to my car and.."

" Yam..Yamato.." Tai whispered, his vision was now clear, but he still felt a little disorientated because he was unable to recognise his surroundings. Yamato gentle ran a finger across Tai's lips and hushed gently.

" You suffered a bad reaction from ecstasy," Yamato said as he carefully stood up, managing the pick Tai up and then cradled him in his arms as if he was a baby. Fear rushed through Tai's body.

'Ecstasy?' The word echoed through Tai's skull causing nausea to build in his stomach. He knew that ecstasy was a dangerous Class A drug that contained a chemical called MDMA (short for methylenedioxymethamphetamine). Tai had heard stories about people taking one single ecstasy tablet and dying as a result due to the lethal and unpredictable effects.

"Your drink was spiked," Yamato continued once they had reached his car and carefully lowered Tai onto the pavement so that he could unlock the door. Once the door was opened he carefully lifted Tai up and clambered into the car with him. Tai was still in a state of panic; he knew that had to get to hospital in case the drugs had caused him any internal damage. He was now also wondering how Yamato knew that his drink had been spiked with ecstasy.

" I need to go to hospital," Tai managed to utter, despite that his jaw was feeling so sore and stiff. He was surprised when he saw Yamato shake his head firmly before he climbed out of the car and walked around to the boot. Tai sighed out quietly before he spread his body out across the two front seats, allowing his head to rest on the driver's seat. At that moment he just wanted to sleep, but he was too afraid to close his eyes just in case there was a chance that he didn't wake up.

" You'll be fine," Yamato reassured as he got back into the car, carefully placing a box in the space in front of the passenger seat. He then lifted up Tai's head carefully before he sat down on the driver's seat. Yamato then pulled Tai onto his lap and told the brunette to open his mouth.

" Why?" Tai asked out of curiosity. Yamato answered his question by waving a bottle of water in front of his face. The brunette reluctantly opened his mouth. The blond made sure he was careful when he poured a little bit of water in Tai's mouth. Tai swallowed the water eagerly, realising just how dehydrated he actually was.

After gulping down several mouthfuls, Yamato moved the bottle away from his lips. Tai made a slight sigh of disappointment, as if he was annoyed from the loss. Tai was about to say something, but Yamato soon cut him off. The brunette's eyes widened with shock when Yamato's lips softly pressed against his own for a few moments before pulling back. Excitement tingled throughout Tai's body as reality started to sink in. Yamato Ishida had just kissed him.

But then, Yamato shattered their moment of bliss.

" That was stupid of me! Jesus! You don't even know me. Don't take that kiss personally, ok? It had no meaning."

Yamato's words stung Tai and caused him to sit up abruptly, surprising the blond haired man a little. Tai shook his head slowly from side to side as he stared into Yamato's icy blue eyes.

" I felt something," Tai said in a low tone of voice, his dark brown eyes started to sparkle, " Something which I desperately yearn for."

Yamato's cold blue eyes suddenly widened as his lips slightly parted with surprise. Tai then turned his glance away from Yamato as a tear silently slipped down his face, followed by a few more. He shut his eyes for a few seconds as he attempted to fight back his sobs.

" I felt the freedom that I crave for," Tai whimpered as he opened his eyes, allowing a new batch of tears to trickle down his tanned face. Tai was slightly startled when Yamato's arms suddenly wrapped around his waist. The blond pulled Tai close to him.

" I've felt that way since I spoke to you earlier on today," Tai continued to say as he rested his head on Yamato's shoulder. " Yamato.."

" Matt. Just call me Matt."

" Matt.." Tai echoed softly, tasting the blond's shortened name for the first time. He then snaked his arms around the blond's slim waist and pressed his body closely against Yamato's, desperate to feel more of the freedom he was eager to have.

" Can you can help me break free? I.. I hate being weighed down with so many responsibilities," Tai confessed as he continued to cry, " Ever since.. Ever since my dad left I've been expected to provide for and protect my mother and sister! I'm sick of it! I thought things would change after I went off to Uni, but I was wrong. My mum phones me _every _day, sometimes even twice. She never gives me space."

Tai paused for a few moments, allowing what he had said to sink into Matt's head. A few minutes of uncomfortable silence past as Tai sniffed quietly while his tears dried up. The brunette soon suddenly froze. Matt's hand was slowly rubbing up and down his back, his slim fingers were deliberately brushing against his spine.

" So, you want me to fuck you? Just so you can experience the sensation of freedom?" Matt's voice said dirtily, clearly soaked in slight sarcasm. Tai's heart skipped a beat. Sex definitely wasn't something he wanted right now. He only wanted Matt to help him become free; to help him spread his wings and fly.

" No.. I.." Tai stuttered. Matt's hands were now caressing his hips slowly and teasingly. In pure panic Tai pushed Matt away from him and screamed, " I just want you to help me!" Tai's face then burnt with embarrassment.

" I just believe that you can help me," Tai admitted gently, his eyes started to water again, " You're really cool and nothing seems to bother you. I can tell that you've tasted freedom."

Tai was very surprised when Matt, unexpectedly, started to chuckle softly. His brushed his fingers through a few strands of his golden blond hair before he looked at Tai almost sympathetically. He loved the boy's naivety.

" Ok, I'll help you, if that's what you want," Matt said once he had stopped laughing, he then leant forward and brushed his thumbs under Tai's eyes to wipe away the tears that forming, " But, if you believe that _I _am your source to freedom then you're completely wrong."

Tai shivered at Matt's last few chilling words. He probably would have been able to confess his true feelings towards Matt and that stage if he had not been feeling so tired and sick, as a result to taking ecstasy. The brunette barely had the strength to collapse into Matt's arms and whisper the words 'thank you' before he fell asleep.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He watched Tai's chest softly rise and fall as he slept silently that night. Matt had taken the brunette back to his dormitory room and had allowed him to sleep in his bed. Timmy had not returned yet despite it was nearly 3 o'clock. Matt gathered that Timmy would be back soon, seeing as Tai's mobile had been ringing and beeping continuously for the past few hours, which meant that people had realised that Tai had suddenly disappeared from the club.

Matt was sitting on the edge of his bed, starring longingly at the topless brunette that was sleeping on top of the covers. The faint moonlight that was lazily leaking through the window was the only source of lighting that allowed Matt to see Tai's beautiful body. He had a wicked urge to slam his lips against the brunette's, before allowing his hands to have a little fun. The blond blushed as his thoughts turned sexual; he started to become a little flustered as all the blood in his body was drawn to one particular part of his body.

He cursed slightly under his breath. Why did Taichi Yagami have to be so God damn hot?

' Bad Matty,' Matt thought to himself as he crawled fully onto the bed and carefully straddled Tai, praying that the brunette wouldn't suddenly wake up. He was just so desperate to touch Tai.

His heart was slamming lightly against his chest as his hands carefully lowered themselves onto Tai's chest. He riskily skimmed his fingers against Tai's nipples, sighing out a little as his fingers make contact with Tai's burning hot skin. The blond froze in shock as the brunette's head slightly swayed from right to left before he whispered out something quietly.

Matt then allowed his fingers to trail down Tai's stomach, slowly, half smirking when the sleeping Tai squirmed a bit more. The blond was glad to realise that Tai was a heavy sleeper.

" Why am I doing this?" Matt suddenly asked out loud, immediately cupping one of his hands over his mouth as the words spilt out. He was now embarrassed because he had spoken his thoughts, but he was feeling much more guilty than anything for trying to take advantage over a guy that he didn't really know, a guy that he was meant to be helping. Not violating.

As Matt went to move his other hand away from Tai's chest, he jumped back in shock as the brunette's eyelids suddenly fluttered open. Naturally, Tai was startled to see Matt on top off him, straddling him with his hand dangerously close to his naked chest. Tai shifted back a little before he sat up, allowing his back to rest against the headboard. His eyes scanned the room in confusion before they finally glanced back over at Matt.

" W..Where am I?" Tai muttered, starting to shiver a little because he was not used to waking up on top of the covers.

" My dorm room," Matt said in reply rather casually, even though his legs were at either side of Tai's stretched out legs. He soon stopped straddling Tai when he realised that he might have been causing the brunette some discomfort. He shuffled over to the edge of the bed, though he rested his back against the headboard and sat closely next to Tai.

" Gee, I still feel like shit. I should have gone to hospital or.."

".. No." Matt sternly snapped causing Tai's eyes to widen in fear. However, the brunette then confidently decided to challenge.

" What do you have against hospitals?" Tai questioned, he turned his head to the side to face the rebellious young man.

" Huh?"

" You must have something against hospitals if you don't want me to go."

It was a fair point, though Matt was not entirely sure if he wanted to tell Tai the reason. It always pained him whenever he thought about it himself and he had not really talked to anyone about it before. Matt shut his eyes before cupping his forehead with his right hand and letting out a small sigh of aggravation, as if he had a headache.

" Too many bad memories," Matt eventually managed to say, but barely in a whisper. Tai heard him, however. He shocked Matt a little when he grabbed the blond's left hand in a friendly manner, in hope that he could get the mysterious young man to talk a little about his past.

" Hey, you can tell me. We're friends, right?"

Matt's heart slammed heavily against his chest when Tai said the word 'friends'. He wondered how they could already be friends, seeing as they hadn't known each other for even a day yet and also there was the fact that Tai knew nothing about his corrupt past.

Still, Matt decided that it wouldn't hurt if he told Tai part of reason why he detested hospitals.

" I just can't stand hospitals. Every time I go to one it's for a bad reason..." Matt blurted out; he kept his hand over his brow and partly over his eyes as he spoke. He opened his eyes and then shut them again causing a couple of tears to fall down his cheeks, which Tai was unable to see because of the hand that was concealing his upper face.

" … Every time I go to a hospital, someone that I care for always dies." Matt continued, he quickly wiped the tears away from his eyes and took a small breath in as he waited for Tai to respond.

" Oh… Tai replied, sounding as if he was now deep in thought about something, " You know, I can kinda relate to how that feels."

To Tai's surprise, Matt started to laugh softly, almost nervously. He lowered his head and slowly shook it from side to side.

" I doubt that somehow," The blond said coldly, a small mocking smile played on his lips as if he was in on a joke that Tai was unable to understand. He was expecting Tai to be quiet after his comment, which, if he had known Tai a bit better at the time, would have been the last thing Tai would have done in that situation.

Matt grunted in slight agony as pain lashed through his cheek. It took him a couple of seconds to realise that Tai had slapped him.

" Fuck you!" Tai suddenly snapped as his eyebrows fell inwards, "I had to sit by my dad's bed and watch him die! I visited everyday and watched as his cancer consumed him!" His whole body was shaking and quivering, tears were falling freely down his face as he confessed to Matt how his father had died. He then allowed his arms to limply fall down to his sides as he starred up at the ceiling.

" I know how it feels, so don't say that I don't," Tai said in a lowered, but stern tone of voice.

The anger that was burning in Matt's eyes was suddenly transformed into a look of sympathy.

" Well, you may know how it feels…to an extent, but.." Matt then trailed off. It was going to be difficult to say the rest. Tai moved his glance away from the ceiling and focused on Mat, who had stopped speaking in mid sentence.

" But, what?"

" But… It's a different feeling when you know that you're responsible for the other persons death."

Tai felt his blood run cold.

" A… Are you saying that you… that you're…"

" …A murderer? I guess so…"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

D-Angel: Ohhh _-dramatic music- _Cliff hanger ;) I had to cut it off there because the chapter was long enough. Well? You guys like? Sorry to Sora fans, I just wanted to make a change so she is going to be a right annoying bitch in this story. I have nothing against her; she is actually one of my favourite characters, lol.

Sora :) Yey

D-Angel: Oh, and I actually did research on the drug ecstasy especially for this chapter ;) I will mention now that I have never touched the drug, or any other illegal drugs before. Oh and I've never smoked either, but I have drunk alcohol… A lot of alcohol, heh.. Well yeah anyway, thanks for reading and please remember to review on your way out ;) Chapter 3 will be posted up as soon as possible (Keep checking my profile for updates and such).

See ya all later

D-Angel-

26/06/05


	4. Chapter 3: Frozen Kisses

**_Shattered Illusions_**

_Summary:_ Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Hey guys! Thanks for all your reviews so far! I apologise for the updating delay and for the cliffhanger in the previous chapter, blame it on my surprisingly busy social life and also the amazing birthday I had on the 29th July! This chapter is rather long! (Over 3,300 words) But hopefully you won't get bored of it halfway through because _a lot _happens in this chapter, so please read on and enjoy!

**Warnings:** Strong language, homosexuality, little bit of fluffiness and angst

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Chapter 3 Frozen Kisses

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" Jesus Christ!" Tai replied in a startled voice. His brown eyes widened as he crawled away from Matt and huddled up against the wall in the far corner of the bed. Matt didn't know whether to laugh or be insulted because of the way Tai had reacted. What he did know was that he had to explain himself better so that Tai wouldn't be afraid of him or go around spreading the word that he was a murderer.

" It wasn't meant to happen," Matt started to explain as he reached into his jeans pocket and pulled a cigarette out from the box that he kept them in, " It was an accident, a really unfortunate accident. And it was all my fault." Matt then popped the fag into his mouth.

Tai watched and flinched as Matt tugged out something shiny from his pocket. However, the brunette soon felt a little idiotic when he realised it was only Matt's lighter. His eyes started to study Matt's face. The blond's expression was pure and natural, and his ice blue eyes were actually expressing emotion for once. They were sparkling with guilt. It was then clear to Tai that this guy was incapable of committing a murder intentionally, and for his own pleasure.

" An accident, huh? Well, I guess that you don't want to talk about it right now…" Tai said, watching as Matt lit his cigarette. The blond then nodded confirming that he did not want to tell Tai anymore.

" It's best that you don't know," Matt sighed as he rested his fag between his index and middle finger. " It's also best that you don't get too close to me. It's only going to cause you pain." He then placed the cigarette back into his mouth and closed his eyes.

" No. Matt…" Tai abruptly said, suddenly realising that he had leapt at the blond and was now lying on top of him. Tai immediately blushed and rolled off Matt. He then shut his eyes and groaned in frustration.

" Ngh, I don't know why but… I like being close to you. It makes me feel… Alive. And kinda free."

The cigarette in Matt's mouth almost fell out when he heard Tai mutter those words. He was surprised that Tai liked being close to him, and he was also confused over the reason why.

'Why does he want to get involved with my life?' Matt thought as he removed his fag from between his lips and stubbed it out by using the bed's headboard. He flicked the butt into the bin then lay down besides Tai. The brunette turned and faced the puzzled looking rebel.

" Matt.."

" Like I said, I'll help you find freedom. But, you're not going to find it by getting close to me."

Tai smiled inwardly. He was determined to prove Yamato Ishida wrong.

----------

A few months later, Matt had settled into his new life in the town that he was born in and had lived in for the first six years of his life, before his parents had split up, which had been the starting point of the downfall of his life.

Still, with the past all behind him now he just wanted to concentrate on studying hard and making a few new friends, and so far he had succeeded with doing so.

Matt was now good friends with Tai. Matt had gained the brunette's trust after he had told Tai that Sora was the one that spiked his drink with ecstasy. Tai, at first, had refused to believe, but he was soon convinced when he overheard Sora confessing how guilty she felt about the whole thing to Mimi, a week or so after Tai had told everyone the reason why he left the club so early. Tai was sickened that Sora could have done such a thing and lost a lot of trust in her. However, he did not have the heart to confront her, though she was becoming aware that Tai was acting a little different around her.

" Hey! Yama! Wait up!" A loud and excited voice yelled. Tai grinned when Matt stopped walking down the corridor, allowing him to catch up.

" Guess what?" Tai eagerly said as he and Matt started to stroll down the corridor together.

" You _finally _got a girlfriend?" Matt replied back, teasingly and rather sarcastically. Tai punched him on his shoulder out of irritation. Tai then pouted as Matt rolled his eyes.

" I've had more girlfriends than you!" Tai immaturely bragged, he flicked a few strands of his hair away from his brow as he glanced over at Matt, who didn't seem so bothered by what he had just said.

Matt stopped walking once he had reached the door that led into the room where his lecture was taking place. He approached it then leant against the wall besides the door and waited for Tai to start speaking again.

" Well, anyway, I wanted to ask you something," Tai explained. He side stepped so that he was now facing Matt, before he took a couple of steps forward, which caused the blond to blush a little. Tai's head was now dangerously close to his own and he now had the urge to kiss the beautiful brunette.

" My mum's kinda having a family dinner tonight and Kari's invited her boyfriend, so I was wondering if…"

" Say no more," Matt interrupted, he carefully moved away from the wall and made his way towards the door, "I'll be more than happy to go."

" Really? Aw gee, Matt, you are a life saver!" Tai exclaimed, his arms flung around Matt in what was meant as a friendly gesture, but both boys felt more than friendship whenever they hugged. Matt cautiously placed his arms limply around Tai's waist for a few seconds before they separated.

" Ok, come to our usual rehearsal room at around five," Matt instructed, his blue eyes glimmered a little as he briefly thought about practicing with his new band, which consisted of him, Timmy, James and Marco.

" Five? Hmm, yeah that should be fine, dinner isn't until seven," Tai replied, watching as Matt grabbed the door handle, " Though, I may be a bit late because I have a football game at around three."

" You're one crazy guy for playing football in this weather," Matt chuckled in a warm tone of voice that instantly made Tai melt on the spot. Tai then laughed softly at Matt's joke. He then grinned.

" I'll play football in any weather, come rain or shine."

" Or snow in this case," Matt smirked as he pushed open the door and walked into the room. Tai watched until the door had closed fully. He shoved his hands into his pockets and started to wander slowly back up the corridor thinking deeply about Yamato, his best friend. The one who he realised he was falling for.

----------

Tai's trainers smacked frantically against the corridor floor as he ran at full speed towards Matt's rehearsal room. He panicked once more when he glanced at his watch and saw that it was nearly quarter to six. Tai cursed to himself for underestimating the length of his football game. He was still dressed in his kit because he'd realised that he had no time to have a shower and get changed before he met up with Matt.

The brunette slammed into the door, pushing down on the handle at the same time so that the door flung open and he stumbled rather inelegantly into the room.

" I'm... sorry... for being late," Tai gasped, he bent over slightly and started to take deep breaths to help him regain his usual breathing pattern. He then stood up straight and smiled goofily as he placed one hand behind his head.

" Don't worry, Tai, we've just finished rehearsing," James explained. He hopped of the stool he was sitting on and placed his drumsticks onto the bass drum on his drum kit. Matt unplugged his guitar from his amp; his eyes narrowed when Timmy sat up and approached Tai. He had recently started to notice that Timmy was growing fonder of Tai, and was also aware that Timmy had grown a strong dislike towards him ever since that night when Tai's drink got spiked.

" So, Tai, you won't be going clubbing with us tonight?" Timmy asked. He pulled a slight face of disappointment as Tai shook his head.

" Family dinner, promised my mum," Tai sighed almost robotically.

Matt then made his way over to Tai with his guitar case slung across his shoulder. Tai grinned.

" Come on, Yama, we don't want to miss dinner now," Tai said in a sarcastic tone. Timmy looked over at Matt and frowned a little before he smiled mockingly.

" Yama? Heh, cute pet name," Timmy admitted as he leant against the wall and half smiled at Tai. The brunette blushed evidently before he let out an uneasy chuckle. The corners of Matt's lips rose forming into a small smirk.

" That's right, I'm Tai's Yama-chan," Matt playfully purred as he placed his arm around Tai's waist for a few seconds. Marco stood up abruptly with jealously twinkling in his eyes. He marched over to where Matt and Tai were, only to have James grab his arm to prevent him from getting close to them. Marco grumbled at James for doing so.

" Matt's my Yama-chan," Marco sulked immaturely, causing Tai's blood to boil with envy. God he hated Marco. He grew even more annoyed when Marco winked at Matt who also looked peeved. Tai then decided that then would be a good time to leave the room.

Matt was about to follow Tai who had just left the room when suddenly, Timmy grabbed him roughly by the wrist and pinned him harshly against the wall. He then moved his lips close to Matt's ear. The blond flinched a little as he felt Timmy's soft breath gently tickling his earlobe.

" Listen, Yamato, Tai's my best friend," Timmy whispered in a strict tone of voice, " so if you ever dare hurt him I'll make sure that you suffer for the rest of your life!"

Timmy's threat caused Matt's blood to run cold. He felt shocked that Timmy had said such as thing and also he was offended that his band mate thought that he was capable of doing such a thing. Matt then became paranoid. Did Timmy know about his past?

Matt carefully pushed Timmy away from him before he cockily placed his hand on Timmy's cheek and smiled mockingly.

" Don't worry pretty boy, I'll take good care of Tai," Matt said softly with an edge of sarcasm to his voice. Timmy clenched his fists in anger as Matt turned his back on him before he walked out of the room.

" That bastard," Timmy growled quietly once the door had shut. A dangerous protective glimmer appeared in his blue eyes. He did not trust Yamato Ishida one bit.

**----------**

" Home sweet home," Tai chuckled as he led Matt into the apartment. A pleasant scent of cooked food and the sweet aroma of Yagami gingerly teased Matt's nose and made him feel somewhat relaxed and secure. He pulled off his shoes and placed them down neatly next to Tai's before he took of his coat, which Tai took from him, and hanged it on one of the pegs on the wooden coat stand that rested against the wall a few feet in front of the front door.

" Mum, I'm home!" Tai chirped cheerfully as he wandered into the living room. Matt followed. Tai placed his football kit bag and his drawstring backpack onto the sofa, and then smiled at the middle-aged woman that had just walked out the kitchen. She enthusiastically waved at both Tai and Matt before placing one hand on her hip.

" You must be Yamato, yes Tai's told me all about you!" Tai's mother exclaimed with a grin on her face, Tai turned an evident shade of red before he laughed nervously then awkwardly dragged his mum into the kitchen. Matt pulled a face of bemusement. Tai soon came out the kitchen, still blushing. He muttered an apology before he walked past Matt and started to head towards his bedroom.

" I'll introduce you to my sister," Tai said, grabbing Matt by his arm as he walked past him. Tai then leant against the door and lightly rapped against it. The brunette smirked when he heard some bumps and 'ows' come from the other side of the door, until elegant footsteps replaced those sounds. Both Tai and Matt stepped back from the door as the lock clicked open. Standing at the doorway was a teenage girl with similar chocolate brown eyes to Tai's and shoulder length brown hair; a neutral expression remained on her face as she brushed down her crinkled skirt.

" Daisuke(1)-kun!" Taichi sniped as he glanced over his sister's shoulder at the other young teenager who was stumbling, in an embarrassed motion, towards the door. Matt was shocked when he saw the teenage boy; not only was he nearly the same height as Tai, but he was also literally a replica of him. He had messy light brown hair, dark brown eyes and tanned skin.

" Taichi, me and Kari weren't…. Oh, who's that?" Daisuke densely asked, ignoring Tai's threatening glare as he stared awestruck at Matt. Taichi's sister then also glanced over at Matt with a knowing glimmer in her eyes.

" That's Yamato Ishida," Kari announced before extending her hand out as she warmly said, " How do you do? I'm Hikari Yagami." The blond politely shook her hand before he glanced back Daisuke who was smiling in the same goofy way that Tai sometimes did.

" Hey how's it going? I'm Daisuke Motomiya, but everyone calls me Davis, or Dai, or D or..."

" Enough! He gets the point," Kari sighed as she covered up the brunette's mouth with one of her hands. Tai and Matt couldn't help but chuckle at the sight; it kind of reminded them of a comedy sketch. Daisuke, however, ended up stubbornly folding his arms as he pouted like a spoilt child.

" Well, as you may have already gathered, Kari is my sister and Davis is her boyfriend," Tai explained, just in case there was any missing gaps. Matt nodded as he studied the young teenage couple again. Tai raised one of his eyebrows in curiosity as a distressed look suddenly appeared in Yamato's azure eyes. Concerned, Tai opened his mouth to ask if Matt was feeling all right, only to be interrupted when his mother came bouncing back out the kitchen.

" Dinner's ready!" She announced happily, " Tai, Dai, help me dish up."

Both brunette's sighed out in unison.

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Dinner had been an interesting affair, for both Tai and Matt. The brunette was delighted when he discovered for once that his mum's food was actually edible. Still, his mum had decided to embarrass him by telling Matt how much Tai relished their friendship, before she decided to hint that Tai wanted more than friendship. Luckily Kari had saved Tai from further embarrassment by announcing that she was going for a sleepover round a friend's house over the weekend.

Matt had found out slightly more about Tai's background, while he managed to avoid answering any questions that forced him to reveal more of his life. He was also surprised to discover just how protective Tai was over his sister; the elder Yagami had displayed the concern he had for his sister when she spoke of going on holiday with a few of friends in the summer.

After dinner, Tai decided to get out the house for a couple of hours, obviously allowing Matt to come along with him because he had a feeling that the blond haired teenager was probably desperate for a cigarette. He was correct; because once they had set foot out the apartment Matt had already placed a cigarette between his slim lips. Tai pulled an excited face when he realised that it had been snowing.

" I _so _have to show you how pretty Odaiba park is when it's all snow-covered!" Tai overzealously explained as he led Matt in the direction towards Odaiba park, grinning from ear to ear. Matt smiled faintly at the young man's childish enthusiasm.

_'Watch the sun rise_

_Say your goodbyes, off you go'_

" I feel the need to apologise for mum; she's a right nutcase!" Tai sighed as he walked besides Matt. The blond chuckled softly before he slipped his hands into his coat pockets.

" Nah, she's great," Matt replied simply as he feet crunched against the snow covered pavement down at Odaiba park. The brunette's cheeks turned red when Matt smiled at him warmly. He wished that he had right to just leap on Matt and make out with him fervently, but sadly he and Matt were only _friends_, and friends weren't allowed to snog. Still, at least Tai had the right to fantasise.

_'Some conversation_

_No contemplation, hit the road'_

" Your sister's boyfriend is _so _much like you," Matt mentioned as they started to stroll across the snow-coated grass, towards the lake that had completely frozen into a thick block of ice. Tai smirked making it apparent that Matt was not the first person to point out that fact.

" I know, only he's younger and blatantly not as hot as moi," Tai vainly said, he smiled when Matt just rolled his eyes then pulled his hands out from his pockets. The blond shuffled a little closer to Tai as they reached the lake, obviously feeling a little nervous about stepping onto the ice. Tai immediately noticed his friend's anxiety.

" Relax, Yama!" Tai sighed; he then placed both of his feet onto the ice to show Matt that it was solid enough to support his body mass. Tai then started to slide around on the ice, showing off to Matt as he pulled off a cute little spin. The blond admired Tai's bravery, but at the same time he did not want to be upstaged by him. Therefore, Matt stepped onto the ice slowly, stumbling slightly as the lack of friction became apparent.

_'Come over please jump out of my seat_

_On the side of the highway, baby'_

Tai skated over to Matt and placed his arm around his waist. The blond flinched slightly as Tai pulled him close.

" Now, glide forwards on your left foot," Tai instructed as best he could while he pushed forward using his left foot, " Then repeat again only using your other foot." The brunette kept his arm tightly wrapped around Matt's waist as they started to skate around the lake together.

_'Our road is long your heart is strong_

_Please don't ever let go, oh no'_

Matt shut his blue eyes for a few seconds so was able to savour this particular moment. He never thought it was possible to have a pleasurable time with Tai without fucking him.

'I shouldn't be thinking about having sex with Tai!' Matt thought, suddenly opening his eyes when he realised he had somehow lost his footing. He cried out as he ended up falling comically over onto ice, and because Tai had his arm around his waist the brunette also ended up stacking it over.

" Ow, ow, my arm!" Tai whined as he tugged his arm out from underneath Matt, before sitting up on the ice so he was able to see if Matt was ok. The blond was on his back starring impressively up at the star filled sky with a small smile on his face. Tai could not deny that Matt looked very cute in that position. He blamed what happened next on his curiosity; well, Matt's lips did look so damn delicious and he was just laying there asking for someone to do something to him.

_' I know I don't know you,_

_but I want you so bad'_

Tai shuffled closer to Matt on his hands and knees. The blond became more than wary when Tai suddenly straddled him, however, he did not complain when Tai leant over him and gently pressed their lips together. Tai then quickly pulled back, blushing heavily.

" Oh God, I just kissed you!" Tai stated the obvious, his eyes widened when Matt sat up so that their heads were now level.

" No shit," Matt sarcastically sighed. He then placed one of his ice-cold hands on Tai's chin, slightly tilting the brunette's head up slightly. His lips then pressed against the younger man's pair. Tai shut his sparkling brown eyes as he wrapped his arms limply around Matt's neck; he then sighed out slightly as Matt started to nibble his lower lip lightly. Tai then naively slipped his tongue into Matt's mouth so that he could the sweetness of the guy he had wanted to kiss for goodness knows how long. Matt's tongue brushed against his own, encircling it for a few moments before he carefully end the kiss.

Tai giggled, like a schoolgirl who had just been spoken to by the guy she fancies, then romantically gazed into the blue depths of Matt's eyes. They were glimmering in confusion.

_'Everyone has a secret,_

_Oh can they keep it?'_

" I don't want to hurt you, Tai," Matt then whispered as he placed his arms loosely around Tai's slim waist. The brunette then moved his arms away from Matt's neck and snuggled up closely to the mysterious blond. He was confident that Matt could not do or say anything to harm him.

" Yama, I.." Tai began to murmur, desperately wanting to tell Matt those three little words that he knew would change a lot of things forever, but something prevented him from saying those last two words. Instinct told him that it just was not time to confess how he felt.

" I… know that you'll never hurt me," Tai sighed as he affectionately ran his hand across Matt's back. The brunette was surprised when Matt suddenly cringed. The brunette was not sure whether it was his touch or what he had said that had made Matt unexpectedly wince in such a way. Tai moved his arms away from Matt and looked into his confused light blue eyes for a while. The blond broke their eye contact as he sharply turned his head away then stared down at the light blue ice they were both sitting on.

"Every time I look into your eyes you remind me of Kazu-chan," Matt murmured under his breath, though it was loud enough for Tai to hear. The blushing blond immediately glanced back up at Tai who had a baffled expression on his face. Matt felt like hitting himself.

' Shit, why the fuck did I mention Kazu's name?' He thought in panic; now knowing that Tai was going to start questioning him about Kazu. There was no way in hell that he was ready to discuss his past with Taichi. Not yet anyway.

" Kazu? Who's he?"

Matt's eyes frosted over, " Mind your own fucking business." Truth was he wanted to tell Tai everything, but he knew that he was not ready to reveal his past to Tai, and it was obvious that Tai was way too naïve to not freak out.

' He doesn't have to know,' Matt's thoughts sighed as Tai recoiled in shock, like a child that had just been yelled at by a teacher, 'The truth will only end up hurting him.' So, he refused to stand up and chase after the melodramatic young man after he had sworn loudly at Matt before running off (though he was slipping and sliding more than anything). Matt did feel extremely guilty for being cold towards the guy, who he could actually class as one of the closest friends he'd ever had despite only knowing him for a few months, but he thought that shutting Tai out from his tainted past was better than involving him with it.

_'Oh no they can't'_

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_Song Lyrics:_

**"Secret" **by Maroon 5

_Author notes:_

(1)- This is actually the first time I've ever used Daisuke's Japanese name in one of my stories… I usually just prefer to call him Davis :P

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D-Angel: May I just say, I love that song by Maroon 5 :) Tis very pwetty! Well yes, the walk in Odaiba park bit was very fluff filled, the reason being was because I was getting so depressed with writing angst filled scenes in my other stories I _had _to write something sweet (ish). But somehow, it all ended in angst :(. Still, chapter 4 should be an interesting one, though I really do need to write down my plan for this story because I'm starting to forget things X-X.

Tai: You always forget things :P

Matt: True, you would have forgot your own birthday if it wasn't for that countdown you had on your msn screen name :P

D-Angel: _-Throws empty beer bottles at Chi and Yama- _

Matt: Ow :( I thought you'd be celebrating the fact that I only smoked twice in that chapter!

D-Angel: (Sarcastically) Oh congratulations!

Matt: _-Frowns and sulks-_

D-Angel: Anyways, hope you guys liked. Please review and tell me what you thought :P.

Until the next chapter (Which I predict will be up in one to two weeks time)… See ya!

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¬D-Angel¬

04/08/05

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	5. Chapter 4: Confessions

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary:_ Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Already I've completed another chapter for this story! Your reviews were partly responsible to my sudden spur of motivation, so thanks a lot! Again, this chapter is long but I ensure you that it is thoroughly enjoyable and will not bore you like the last chapter probably did, heh.

Read on and enjoy!

**Warnings:** Strong language, homosexuality, scenes of a sexual nature, angst

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Chapter 4 Confessions

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That night, Matt laid in the darkness unable to sleep. The window was partly open and a cold icy breeze had evaded his dorm room; but that was not the thing that was troubling him. Earlier on, in Odaiba park, he had hurt Tai's feelings just to prevent the brunette from trying to delve into his tainted past. Truthfully, he was sick of having to push away those that got too close to him even when he knew what usually happened if they did get too close.

The beeping of his phone caused him to sit up in shock, as if he had just awoken from a horrid nightmare. He peered over at his phone, which rested on the bedside table, frowning in slight confusion at the '1 message received' notice that had appeared on its display screen. Matt grabbed the phone and read the message as he sat on the edge of his bed.

_I know its late Yama, but I really need to talk to you. If you're still awake (or if I've woken you), meet me outside the dorm block a.s.a.p. -Tai- xXx_

Matt glanced over at the door through the darkness, then back at the message before he stood up and shoved on his trainers, which were besides his bed. He then pulled on the t-shirt that was slung over the chair, by the desk that was between his and Timmy's bed, before he grabbed his keys.

As he was about to leave the room, Matt was aware that a pair of eyes were glaring at him from the other side of the dark room.

" Where are you off to?" A voice asked laced with suspicion and apparent mistrust. Matt opened the door, still feeling Timmy's eyes burning into the back of his neck.

" I need a fag," Matt casually replied, before stepping out the room. Timmy' narrowed his eyes- Matt had never left their dorm room before in the middle of the night to have a smoke.

A bitter gust of cold air immediately swept past Matt as he stepped outside the dormitory block. White snow still covered the grass and the trees, though the path that Matt was standing on was extremely icy. Matt shivered as he started to carefully walk down the path, towards the figure that he could see sitting on a nearby bench. Tai stood up immediately when he saw Matt, who was dressed in nothing but a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved t-shirt.

Tai rushed towards him, underestimating the iciness of the path, before he suddenly slipped and started to fall backwards. The next thing he knew, he was being supported by Matt who had kind-heartedly saved him before he had hit the ground. He blushed as Matt moved his arms back, allowing him to stand for himself.

" Thanks," Tai said quietly as he brushed his fingers through his unruly mass of brown hair, he then glanced at Matt in concern.

" Aren't you cold?"

Matt shook his head, though he was clearly quivering and his teeth were chattering together. Tai rolled his eyes in disbelief; it was typical of Matt to act like a tough guy who was immune from all human emotions. Sometimes, Tai wished that Matt's icy exterior would just shatter.

" Well, we can't just stay out here," Tai sighed after Matt had refused to wear the coat that he was willing to sacrifice for him. He had tried not to look hurt when Matt had rejected his kind offer.

" My car?" Matt suggested, holding up his set of keys, which jingled briefly like a wind chime. Tai agreed; at least there was actually a heater in Matt's cheap Peugeot.

The blond started up the engine before he switched on the heater. Lukewarm air blasted out from the small vents, barely making a difference. 'At least it's warmer in the car than it is outside,' Matt positively thought as he rubbed his hands together in attempt to generate more body heat.

" I'm sorry about throwing a hissy fit earlier," Tai apologised in a soft voice after a few more minutes of silence had elapsed. Matt shut his eyes and leant back on his seat as the guilt he had temporarily forgot about suddenly came back to haunt him. Frustration started to build in Tai as he recalled the icy treatment Matt had given him in Odaiba park.

" But I can't help being curious! I barely know anything about your past." Tai whined in aggravation as he tilted his head so he could see the beautiful blond's face, he then asked quietly, " Why are you so secretive?"

" I have my reasons," Matt replied back, coldly and instinctively, trying his best not to lower his defences, though Tai was doing a very good job at preventing him from doing so. He felt even guiltier when Tai groaned out in clear annoyance, which only added even more awkwardness to the already uneasy atmosphere. More minutes past as both boys sat in silence, only listening to sound of their own thoughts.

" Yamaaa!" Tai soon whimpered as an empty feeling started to expand in the pit of his stomach, there was clear desperation and eagerness in his voice and in the glimmering depths of his brown eyes. Matt saw the hungry look in Tai's eyes realising that the brunette wanted him to feed his appetite.

' I did promise to help him,' Matt reminded himself as he noticed that he had laced his fingers with Tai's. The brunette sniffed back his tears as Matt climbed over to his side of the car, then he straddled Tai who instantly wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his head on his shoulder for a few moments.

" Would you like to taste freedom?" Matt whispered seductively into Tai's ear. The brunette slowly started to nod as he moved his head away from Matt's shoulder. The blond affectionately placed one of his cold hands onto Tai's cheek and gazed into his gorgeous bright brown eyes. Tai kept his eyes open as Matt's lips pressed tenderly against his. This kiss was far more desperate than the one they had shared earlier; Matt's hands were eagerly unzipping Tai's coat.

Tai turned his head to the side as Matt started to kiss his neck; the guitarist's hands were now roaming under his t-shirt gently caressing his burning flesh. He shut his eyes and breathed out deeply when Matt lightly nipped the skin of his neck, giving him a cheeky love bite. His hands fell towards the fastenings on Tai's trousers.

' No, I can't just take advantage over him like this!' Matt's conscience screamed, before he moved his head back and then withdrew his hands away from Tai's trousers. The younger guy opened his eyes looking slightly dazed; as if he had just been woken from a long deep sleep. Their heavy breathing became the only thing that stopped them from sitting in total silence for a few minutes. In that time, Matt clambered back to his own seat before he flicked open the glove compartment and grabbed a packet of cigarettes.

" I'm sorry, I _really _should stop fucking around with your emotions like that," Matt sighed guilt filled as he slipped a cigarette between his ravenous lips. Suddenly, Tai aggressively tore the fag out from his mouth and then, without warning, forcefully slammed his mouth against Matt's lips. Matt's eyes bulged out from their sockets, in pure panic he attempted to push Tai away from him but the brunette was stronger than he realised. Tai soon ended the kiss looking more surprised than Matt currently was.

" I…I…" Tai panted as he saw the shock in Matt's eyes. Matt broke their eye contact by uneasily placing another cigarette into his mouth.

" Damn it!" Tai cursed, slamming his fists against the dashboard in infuriation. A single tear then slipped down his face, " Don't hate me, Yamato."

" I don't hate you," Matt clearly responded in a blunt manner as he fished his hand into the glove compartment in search for a lighter. Tai quickly grabbed his arm before he could find one.

" You will when I'll tell you that… that I... I…" Tai hesitantly stuttered before he lowered his head and looked down at his trainers. He then tightened his grip on Matt's arm as he tilted his head back up and bravely gazed into the older man's mystified blue eyes.

" I love you," Tai whispered.

Matt froze in disbelief as those words escaped from Tai's lips. No one had ever said those words with such meaning and certainness, except for Kazu. For a few moments it was not Tai staring lovingly into his eyes, instead there was another handsome young man with spiky jet-black hair and a beautiful set of naïve emerald green eyes, smiling and laughing. Matt's vision horrifically changed when a look of terror replaced the green eyed teenager's face, and the noise of screeching tires replaced the sound warm laughter.

' Kazu!' Matt's mind dramatically yelled. The blond reached over to grab Kazu, only to comprehend that it was Tai he was about to grab so he quickly moved his hand back. The brown haired man was alarmed by Matt's reaction, his throat was now too dry for him to even apologise for confessing his undying love for the guitarist as he released Matt's arm from his grip. Then, in pure panic, Tai gripped the car's door handle and pushed the door open. He leapt out the vehicle and started to hurry away, until he bumped into someone that was waiting a few inches away from the car.

" Tai! Oh my God! Did he hurt you?" Timmy's concerned voice queried as his arms enclosed around Tai. The brown-eyed man then realised that he was crying as Timmy held him close in a protective manner, his embrace tightening when Matt switched off the engine and then stepped out the car. Timmy shot a poisonous look at Matt as he started to approach them.

" Stay away! Don't come near him!" Timmy spat when Matt was only a few inches away from where he and Tai were standing. Matt narrowed his eyes and continued to walk forward completely ignoring Timmy's command. Tai then managed to wiggle out from Timmy's grasp and then tightly curled his hands up into fists.

" He did nothing, just leave me alone!" Tai yelled in a distressed voice before he ran off in the direction of the university's football pitch. Timmy groaned in an impatient manner, he shot another evil glare at Matt as if to say _' You're not going to get away with this that easily'_ before he took off after Tai, who had already disappeared around the corner of the car park.

Matt returned back to his car, not willing to return to his dorm room. He was surprised that Tai had run off in such an abrupt manner after he had announced those three special words to him with such courage. But then again, Matt had not reacted in the best of ways and he was fully aware of that. He knew that it took bravery to admit such feelings, and now Matt realised that to tell Tai that loving him was wrong would be far more painful than whatever negative consequences resulted if Tai happened to get involved with his life.

Finally, Matt had come to terms with his own feelings. He was in love with Tai and now he was prepared to share his past.

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A week passed. Christmas was now only three weeks away and most students were packing their cases looking forward to spending the entire winter break with friends and family. Matt, on the other hand, had no plans but to stay on the University's campus. He had heard from Timmy that Tai was going to spend the holiday with his mum and sister instead of staying at the University like he had promised Matt. It was crystal clear to Matt that Tai was doing his very best to avoid him, he never came to the band practice rooms anymore nor did he text Matt to arrange anything on their lecture free days.

Matt stared longingly at his phone, which rested besides him on his bed, as he gently strummed his fingers against the strings of his guitar. He sighed out in sorrow before placing his guitar down on the bed. He then he reached over and grabbed his mobile before he started to read through the texts that Tai had sent him over the past few months. They were far from romantic but still they meant a lot to Matt.

_Tap tap. _

His eyes glanced eagerly at the door. False hope started to build as Matt stood up and hurried towards the door with his phone still gripped in his hand. Slowly, he pulled open the door. Disappointment soon filled his eyes when he saw his band mate, James, standing at the door with a grin on his face.

" Hey, Matt, how goes?" He asked as he stepped past the blond so he could gain access to the room. Matt muttered the usual 'I'm fine' before he shut the door in sheer disappointment.

" I can't stop by for long, I only came to ask you something which Timmy should have told you, but I know you guys aren't really getting on at the moment since the whole Tai fiasco," James explained as he perched himself on the desk near the window, neglecting the fact that there was a chair right next to him. News did indeed spread fast, especially when Timmy was involved.

" Well anyways, I just want to know if you want to spend the Christmas holidays at my apartment with Timmy and Marco," James offered in his usual kind voice. Matt admittedly preferred James to his other band mates, the black haired drummer was a genuinely nice guy, plus he was openly bisexual and was not afraid of what other people thought of him. He admired James for being like that.

" Sure, I guess…" Matt replied obviously not so keen about being stuck under the same roof with Timmy and Marco. Especially Marco. He walked over to where James was sitting then leant against the desk looking slightly spaced out, as if he was thinking hard about something or the other. James noticed that Matt's mind was somewhere else; he slipped off the desk and placed a hand on the blond haired man's shoulder. Matt pulled an uneasy face when James hand made contact with him, he didn't really like being touched seeing as he preferred to keep himself to himself.

" Regarding Tai, I suggest you speak with him before things are too late." James wisely advised before removing his hand away from Matt's shoulder, " I can see it in his eyes that he likes you, a lot."

James smiled at the mildly surprised Matt before he started to make his way towards the door.

" Catch you at band practice tomorrow night anyways!"

A smile of confidence appeared on Matt's face once James had left the room after his very brief visit. Matt glanced at his phone before he sat on his bed and contemplated what he was going to say in the text he now planned to send Tai.

Without a doubt James was right. It was now or never, Matt had to let Tai know before it was too late. He knew he was capable of making Tai happy, even if all he had to do was use his body.

_I'm willing to be your source to freedom, if that's ok with you. -Yama- xx_

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"I'm an idiot!" Tai groaned down the phone as he threw random items of clothing untidily into his suitcase. He then slumped down on his bed and ran his free hand through his messy brown hair as the person on the other end of the line sighed out once again.

_" Yes you are, but you must learn from your mistakes," _A philosophical sounding voice replied back to Tai, _" Obviously ignoring him hasn't made things any better so you should now do the right thing and speak to him."_

" But Izzy, Yama's probably really pissed off at me for avoiding him," Tai said as he fiddled nervously with the silver chain that was around his neck. The other young man sighed again. Tai realised that he was winding Izzy up. Izzy was not even his real name, though. His full name was Koushiro Izumi and he was definitely one of Tai's closest friends whom always had useful advice to dish out. He was a year younger than Tai, but already had scholarships for University.

_" Just talk to him! Gee, it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall!"_

" Hey! I resent that!" Tai exclaimed back in a half-serious tone of voice before adding, " But fine, I will find him and I will talk to him. Thanks Iz!"

_" What are friends for?" _Koushiro grumbled back in a sugary sweet voice coated with blatant sarcasm. Both boys then said their goodbyes, then Tai disconnected the call. As he pulled the phone away from his ear Tai realised that he had received a text message. The brunette scolded himself for keeping his phone on silent before opening his inbox to see whom the text was from. His eyes widened when he saw the sender's name, and once he had read the message his phone silently slipped out off his hand and lightly thudded against the duvet on the bed.

His heart started to beat wildly against his chest like a drum that was thudding out of control. An exciting feeling tickled his stomach as he picked the phone back up and reread the text just to make sure he had read it correctly. A pleased grin appeared on his face when the message finally sunk in. Yamato was willing to cross the line of friendship and enter the _magical _world of relationships.

Tai took a deep breath then decided to take up Koushiro's advice.

His hand shakily pressed his mobile phone against his ear once he had dialled Matt's number. He surprised when Matt's soft and strangely comforting deep voice breathed _'hello'_.

" Yama…"

_" …Did you get my text?"_

" Yes, listen Matt I'm…"

_"…I don't usually do relationships, but because it's you I'm willing to make an exception."_

' Clearly he's not the romantic type,' Tai thought as a small rush of hurt lashed lightly against his heart. He was also curious as to why a handsome guy such as Matt was not very keen on having a special someone in his life. All he did know was that it had something to do with Kazu.

" I've never really been in a… relationship with a guy before," Tai explained to Matt as he paced around the room in continuous slow circles. He was rather surprised when Matt chuckled in response to his comment.

_" I know, but there's a first time for everything, ne?"_

" I guess…" Tai sighed as he pulled a small face of discomfort, " But Yama, you said that relationships aren't really your thing, so why do you want one with me? Out of all the people in the world, I mean…"

_" …I promised that I would help you find freedom, Tai, it seemed only appropriate to…"_

" No, it's something else. You want a relationship with me because… because…"

_" 'I love you?' Is that what you want to hear, Tai?"_

Tai released a small cry of frustration as he pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead for a few moments.

" I don't know! All I do know is that I like you, a lot," Tai muttered in a saddened voice, he bit his lower lip in attempt to stop his voice from quivering and his eyes from watering.

He stopped walking around the room when he heard someone knock lightly against his dormitory room door. With the phone still pressed against his ear he started to take shy steps towards the door. His brown eyes dilated with surprise when he tugged it open.

" Then show me," Matt whispered, moving his phone away from his ear before he disconnected their phone call. He looked into Tai's insanely beautiful eyes as he stepped into the room and then started to walk towards him. The brunette's shocked express still remained as Matt's slender arms slipped around his waist, but his expression soon changed when the blond pressed his body right up against his. His mobile dropped almost quietly to the ground.

" Ya…Yama," Tai sighed out half shutting his eyes as one of Matt's hands teasingly groped his rear, he tilted his head slightly to side as Matt slid his tongue between his lips. Tai light-headedly stumbled backwards towards the desk near the window as he was kissed with passion and enthusiasm. He blushed heavily as Matt's hand started to undo the buttons on his jeans before he tugged down the zipper.

" N... No! Matt, no!" Tai screeched out in panic as the other man's hand attempted to slip into his underwear. He roughly grabbed Matt's wrist in order to prevent him from feeling his most private place. Things were just moving too fast for him, even if he did love Matt, he barely knew anything about him. Tai was definitely not ready to allow Matt to touch him in such a way.

Matt raised both his hands up defencelessly, as if he had been caught trying to steal a baking hot apple pie cooling on the windowsill. Tai quickly sorted out his unfastened trousers before he glared at the blond in disgust.

" Is that all I am to you?" Tai said in a repulsed tone of voice as he ironed down his t-shirt, " Do I have 'Hey come on and molest me' written on my forehead or something?"

" I thought that was what you wanted," Matt casually sighed as he lit the cigarette that was now between his kissable lips. Tai groaned in annoyance before walking past Matt towards the open door. Once it was shut Tai leant against it and shut his eyes for a few moments while pulling a face of frustration.

" I'm not after sex, I'm not after a fling," Tai explained in a strict tone of voice which suddenly softened when he added, " I'm looking for a serious relationship." He then slowly started to take small steps towards Matt whose eyes were narrowed in curiosity.

" I've never felt this way about anyone before, not even a girl," Said Tai, he now stood opposite Matt who was listening to Tai's every word. The blond kept his cigarette supported between his index and middle finger as Tai's warm hand tenderly rested itself against his cheek. Tai's eyes filled with slight hurt as he saw Matt flinch obviously feeling uncomfortable by Tai's touch.

' He always does that,' Tai thought in sadness.

" So, are you certain that you want a relationship with me?" Matt asked once Tai had removed his hand from his cheek. The brunette bit on his lower lip for a moment or two before he slowly nodded his head. Matt then grabbed one of Tai's hands realising that he did not want to let go off such a beautiful young man.

" Then lets give it a go," Matt smiled.

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D-Angel: Finally! Took me somewhat three chapters to get to the point that marks the beginning of their love relationship, but I think that the build up was worth it. Now next chapter, some of Matt's past is revealed _-Gasps-_

Matt: Indeed ;)

D-Angel: _-Rolls Eyes- _And also, naturally Matt and Tai's relationship grows…

Tai: … As well as other things ;)

D-Angel: _-Coughs- _Anyways, hope you people enjoyed that rather angst/fluff filled chapter. Next update may be for a while because; 1. I am planning to focus on 'Nothing is Forever' and numerous fictionpress(dot)com stories of mine, which I have neglected for over a year.

2. I have summer reading to do for when I get back to school (Two books! 'The Color Purple' and 'Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit').

3. I am going to Devon in a couple of weeks for a whole week! (Who knows, if I get bored I may write a page or two for one of my stories while I'm sunbathing ((Yeah right)) on a Devon beach).

4. I have an addiction with The Sims 2.

5. Of my strangely active social life

So yes, please review anyway and I'll do my best to post up Chapter 5 as soon as I can! Thanks for reading!

See ya!

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¬D-Angel¬

16/08/05


	6. Chapter 5: Broken Hearts

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary:_ Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Who's on a roll? Darky's on a roll! Another chapter written within a week and a couple of days, though I was literally drained of all creativity when I reached the end of this chapter. Still, thanks a lot for the reviews so far! Especially thanking **'nEo-cHaN'** and **'billie-joe-is-my-ho'**for pointing out a couple of spelling mistakes :) I rarely have the time to check through my chapters thoroughly before I post them up so commonly there's a couple of silly mistakes.

Also, thanks to those that are also reading this but haven't submitted a review yet (Don't be shy! If you review I won't bite… much :P I don't accept flames though, only constructive criticism).

This chapter is angst filled (Naturally) and is a tad shorter than the past two chapters, but it should be interesting to those who are curious about Matt's mysterious past.

Read on and enjoy!

**Warnings:** Homosexuality, angst, little bit of fluff

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Chapter 5 Broken Hearts

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" Look Yama-kun! We're standing underneath mistletoe," Hinted an annoyingly persistent Marco grabbing Matt's arm at same time so that he was unable to quickly sneak away. His eyebrows fell inwards as Marco managed to plant a kiss on his cheek, missing his lips completely because Matt had turned his head to the side at the last second.

James and Timmy, who were sitting by the lit fireplace, couldn't help but snigger and roll their eyes at the sight of their band mates. Marco shot an angered look at them before he slumped down on the nearby green leather sofa. Matt inwardly sighed out in annoyance before he grabbed his wineglass and joined James and Timmy on the rug they were both spread out on.

It had been a while since Matt had spent Christmas with people. For a majority of his life Christmas was just a time where it was ridiculously cold and the only present he received was the luxury of playing innocently in the snow just like any other child, while knowing that he was very different from the other children. He had always been the one to have snowballs and painful ice balls thrown at him.

" Oh! Someone's at the door!" James cried excitedly, quickly jumping up from the rug before rushing out of the room to see who was at the door. Marco hadn't been kidding when he had explained to Matt that James got hyper on sugar, as Matt had obviously learnt.

A much calmer James soon returned to the living room with a pissed off snow covered Taichi following him. A suitcase was noticeably grasped in the brunette's hand, but more noticeably he was shivering like there was no tomorrow. Matt realised that Tai must have had a very good reason to turn up at James' doorstep on Christmas Day at eleven o'clock in the afternoon.

Timmy was quick to stand up, beating Matt to the whole 'Tell me all that's happened while I sort out your soaking wet clothes' role. Even James was aware that Timmy had done it just to spite Matt.

" I had an argument with my mum," Tai sighed out once he was sitting in his just his underwear with twenty-odd towels wrapped round him. Timmy had even made Tai a cup of hot coco and he was now sitting besides the younger brunette with his arm around his shoulder. Matt, who was previously sneering at Timmy's unnecessary body language, was now listening intently to what Tai was saying.

" I told her that I was planning to move out and get an apartment of my own and she just freaked out! She started saying stuff like, ' Oh, so you want to deprive your sister of a perfect male role model?' and, ' Where do you think you're going to get that kind of money from?'," Tai said in a distressed tone of voice, he took another sip of his hot chocolate still feeling slightly numb as the hot liquid slid down his throat. He then placed the mug on the floor before he snuggled up to Timmy and said quietly, " I ended up getting so wound up that I just packed my suitcase and drove over here. I forgot my coat, obviously," He gestured to his clothes that were drying by the fireplace.

" Gee, your mum treats you like you're still a kid," Timmy stated in a sympathetic voice as he gently squeezed Tai's shoulder. An intense protective feeling rippled through Matt's body like a bolt of lightning as he watched Timmy subtly touch Tai. He wanted to be the one squeezing Tai's shoulder, no; actually, he wanted to squeeze something else…

" Well Tai, you are more than welcome to stay here until you patch things up with your mum," James kindly offered, " There's a spare bed in Matt's room…"

" …He can have my room," Timmy rudely interrupted. An unimpressed glimmer appeared in James' pale grey eyes, he disliked it when Timmy acted childish. He realised that Timmy had an obvious crush on Tai, even though the brunette had denied it on numerous occasions.

" It'll save a lot of hassle if Tai just slept in the spare bed," James bluntly decided as he stood up and then eyed Timmy for a few moments. The brunette reluctantly moved his arm away from Tai and then quickly rose to his feet before muttering that he was going to get a drink from the kitchen. Tai briefly tilted his head to the side in confusion, obviously unaware that Timmy fancied him like crazy.

Across the room, Matt was feeling an emotion he had not felt in a while. Jealously.

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They all went to bed at around three in the morning, though going to sleep was the last thing that was on Matt's mind. For the first time ever he was sharing a bedroom with Tai, so it was only natural for him to get slightly excited. Tai was utterly beautiful and he craved to see the young man passionately moan out his name. He watched in amusement as Tai shyly attempted to pull on his underwear underneath his dressing grown, noticing that Tai was very conscious about his body.

Once Tai had managed to put his underwear on, as discreetly as he could, he tugged off his dressing gown then flung on a loose black t-shirt before he crawled into his bed. He gazed over at Matt who was on the bed adjacent to his own before a curious sparkle appeared in his dark brown eyes.

" Aren't you going to get ready for bed?" Tai asked in a soft naïve voice. Matt looked down at his dark blue t-shirt and the black denim jeans he was wearing before he glanced back over at Tai.

" I am ready," Matt replied with a small smile on his face. He usually slept in his clothes partly because he was too lazy to get undressed, but it was mainly because he wanted to avoid people asking awkward questions.

Once Tai had replied with a simple 'oh' there was silence for a few moments, before Matt started to hum a tune that Tai was unable to recognise but nevertheless he found the sound of the blond's humming strangely relaxing. He was almost disappointed when Matt stopped humming after a few minutes and then sat up on his bed and stared over at him. Even though the light was off, the room was far from being pitch black due to windows lacking curtains, so Matt could see Tai's face clearly from across the room.

" Wanna share a bed?" Matt asked, almost out of the blue. A small startled expression appeared on Tai's face before his cheeks turned a dark shade of pink. He then sat up in his own bed and glanced over at Matt to see if he was actually being serious.

" Erm… Why?" Tai managed to reply as he innocently wondered why Matt wanted to share a bed with him. His eyes suddenly widened when he finally realised the reason why. Matt laughed gently at his naivety before he hopped off his own bed then started to approach the brunette's.

" Yama! No sex!" Tai strictly ordered as Matt sat on the edge of his bed with a suggestive grin on his face. The brunette firmly shook his head and a disappointed expression appeared on Matt's face. Tai sighed out in annoyance before he slammed his head down on the pillow and shut his eyes in hope that Matt would allow him to sleep. However, he realised that he would not be getting sleep anytime soon when Matt's hand brushed gently against his cheek.

" Can we just have a kiss and a cuddle?" Matt bargained as his light blue eyes twinkled mischievously. Tai rolled his eyes before he reluctantly pulled his covers to the side, inviting Matt to crawl into his bed. The blond was quick to accept this particular invitation and it was not long before his lips were locked with Tai's. His arms wrapped themselves tightly around Tai's waist as the kiss was deepened. Matt's entire body was aching in desire, he was desperate to fuck the sexy brunette, but he soon realised that he was not going to get anything more than a kiss and a cuddle when he seductively ran his hand across Tai's bare thigh.

" None of that," Panted Tai as Matt started to plant butterfly kisses on his neck, he managed to grab the blond's skinny wrist to prevent his hand from crawling any further up his leg. Matt then jadedly rolled off Tai and stared up blankly at the ceiling for a few moments.

" Then what?" Matt asked dryly as Tai turned over to his side to face him. The brunette looked blankly into Matt frustrated blue depths for a few seconds until he finally thought of a good idea. He laced his fingers with Matt's before he proposed his idea to his boyfriend.

" Lets talk," Tai simply decided. Matt was unable to control his laughter.

" The trouble is, you talk too much," Matt smirked as rolled over so he was now facing the amusing brunette. However, instead of pouting in his usual humorous way, a serious expression remained fixed on Tai's face. The smile on Matt's face slowly faded when he realised that Tai was being rational.

" You've not mentioned a single thing about your background, your upbringing- your past," Tai whispered through gritted teeth, he then took a deep breath before he asked, " Please Matt, tell me something about your life in Yamanoshi. Tell me something about your family."

Matt's face suddenly turned pale at the mention of the word _family_. He was quick to sit up before he gripped his forehead with his hand making it look like he had a headache, even though his head was far from throbbing. A sickening feeling started to build in his chest as his heart started to beat wildly against his ribcage. Tai had managed to hit a nerve and had now exposed his weakness.

" Yama?" Tai asked in concern, sitting up when Matt failed to reply straight away.

" I'm an orphan," Matt muttered with one hand still covering his eyes just so Tai was unable to see the tears that were starting to blur his vision. Tai felt as if he had been slapped hard around the face after hearing the words that had just escaped from Matt's lips. His first instinct was to hug Matt, though he was not sure if the blond enjoyed sympathy so in the end he settled to squeezing Matt's free hand firmly.

" Oh," Tai finally said before he lowered his eyes, " I'm sorry."

Matt did not have the strength to squeeze Tai's hand back, he was beginning to feel weak, exposed and vulnerable all over again the more he started to remind himself of his past. The events were replaying through his mind like a flashback in a movie- unclear but yet at the same time making some sense.

" They died several years ago," Matt quietly said as he stared over at the door, half-hoping that it would open and that someone would come in to stop him from revealing how his parents had died to Tai, but no such luck.

" Mum had leukaemia… She died when I had just turned twelve," Matt explained as he moved his hand away from his face, " As for dad, he died when I was thirteen. Heart attack."

" God, I'm sorry…"

" … Don't be," Matt interrupted before he took a small breath, " He was an alcoholic. He brought it on himself."

Tai's eyes started to blaze in mild anger; he never liked it when people spoke lowly of their parents, even if they happened to be alcoholics. However, Tai's facial expression soon changed when he saw a single tear slip down Matt's flawless face. It glimmered magically in the soft moonlight as it fell from his chin before it splashed wastefully against the bedcovers. His miraculous sapphire eyes were quivering in pain; it was hurting him to share his past with Tai, even knowing that it was only right for the brunette to hear about it.

" It was just me and Takeru after they died," Matt muttered, covering his face with his hand again as if hoping to mask out the overwhelming wave of emotion that was crashing heavily over him. It was slowly suffocating him while exposing everything he had attempted to hide.

" My parents divorced when I was little," the distressed young man continued to unbury more of the past he had kept hidden for so long, " Takeru…"

" … Who's Tak…?"

" … My brother- younger brother, he lived with mum until she died. I was stuck with my father." 'For far too long', Matt thought in disgust as he gazed at one of his trembling hands for a short while. Tai took a risk as he snaked an arm around Matt's waist before he snuggled up closely to his distraught boyfriend. For once, Matt did not flinch at the contact; instead he shuffled up close to the brunette before he buried his head into his chest. He wasn't mentally ready to reveal anything more, he had already broken down just telling Tai about his parents.

Tai carefully ran his fingers through Matt's golden blond hair as he sobbed quietly, releasing some of the pain that he had kept locked away inside of him for such a long time. The brunette was aware that Matt had a lot more to reveal, and the worst was yet to come.

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The morning light slowly seeped through the window causing Tai to squint as he briefly opened his eyes.

" Yama-kun," Tai sleepily muttered as he shut his eyes and rolled over so he could cuddle up to Matt, only to find that the spot where the blond once rested was now empty and cold. In panic, Tai opened his eyes wide as he sat up with the covers still wrapped him. His eyes glanced around the room before they locked onto Matt's bed.

It was empty and Matt was nowhere in sight. Tai's eyes filled with sadness, all he wanted was to wake up in the arms of his boyfriend, but it seemed that even that was too much for Matt to handle.

He glanced longingly at the indented place in the mattress next to him before he gently whispered out Yamato's name.

The sound of bacon sizzling in a pan of fat made Tai feel nauseous as he tiredly stepped into the kitchen, only wearing his dressing gown over clothes he had slept in last night. His mouth soon started to water as he caught a whiff of the bacon that James was kindly cooking.

" Eggs, bacon and tomato," James said with a smile as he turned a couple strips of bacon over with the spatula he had held in his right hand, " Not exactly a 'full-English' breakfast, but it'll keep you guys going until lunch." He then turned around to see who he was talking to.

" Thanks, James," Tai politely replied before he yawned while placing his hand over his eyes for a few moments. James was still gazing at him once he had removed his hand away from his face as if he had something to tell him. Tai tried to open his mouth to ask James a question, but the black haired English man already knew what he was going to say.

" Matt's in the garden having a smoke," James said as he spun back around to check on the bacon. He then asked Tai to grab a box of eggs from the fridge. However, as Tai was about to open the fridge James casually said something that immediately made him freeze in mid-movement. It took him a few more moments before he could turn his head to side to glance at James in surprise.

" Pardon?" Tai said, narrowing his brown eyes in curiosity.

" You two, you're dating right?" James repeated in a relaxed tone of voice before walked over to the fridge to grab the eggs. Tai stared at James feeling shocked that the black haired man knew that he was going out with Matt. Both him and Matt had agreed not to tell anyone until the time felt right, so Tai concluded that the only way James would have found out something like that was from Matt.

" Thought so," James said, as a smirk appeared on his face while he cracked open a couple of eggs over the frying pan, " Yesterday kind of gave it away, Matt looked so pissed when Timmy was fussing over you."

' So Matt didn't tell him,' Tai thought, feeling a little guilty for accusing Matt, as he edged away from the fridge and then slowly walked over to where James was standing.

" Matt and I want our relationship to remain a secret until…"

" … Hey I completely understand, I promise I won't tell anyone, ok?"

Tai sighed out in relief, " Thanks James."

" So, you and Matt huh?" A familiar deep voice breathed, completely corrupting the cosy morning atmosphere that was once visible in the kitchen. Tai and James spun around in unity, both looking surprised when they saw Timmy standing at the doorway with a glimmer of betrayal and pain in his eyes. Without saying another word Timmy quickly turned his back on the other two young men before he rushed out the room with a hurt expression on his face.

James cursed out loudly before he slammed his fist down onto the work surface. Now that Timmy knew James realised that it would not be long until Marco found out and yet another heart would be shattered.

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D-Angel: Woo ok, I apologise if the last scene sucked. I wrote it when I was drained of creativity and enthusiasm (Also receiving a surprise e-mail from your ex does not help with matters :P). Still, shock, shock! Matt actually cried in front of Tai!

Matt: I wouldn't do so in real life for I was only acting :P

D-Angel: _-Rolls eyes- _(Sarcastically) Sure

Tai: You have before, Yama! Don't lie!

Matt: _-Blushes-_

D-Angel: Hee hee, nothing to be ashamed of Yama ;)

Heh, anyways I hope you guys liked. Don't you just want to slap Timmy? Lol, I'm being mean to him in this story, but I'll try and be nice to him later on so I can pick on Marco a lot more :)

Chapter 6 is where things will start getting interesting, dark and rather sinister, though unfortunately the next update won't be for at least two weeks. I'm off to Devon on the 27th August and won't be back until the 3rd of September, and then I'm back to school on the 5th! After chapter 6 is posted up you guys will have to put up with me not updating for months and months on end I'm afraid! I have exams to retake in January so I _have _to revise like crazy to get the grades I want! And also I'm probably going to be loaded with coursework _-Cries- _So yeah, there will be little time for me to write my stories sadly.

Still, thanks a lot for reading! Wait patiently for chapter 6 (If it isn't up by the end of September please nag at me to get it finished!).

Please review and I'll see you next chapter!

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¬D-Angel¬

25/08/05 (Happy birthday mum!)


	7. Chapter 6: Reminiscence

**_Shattered Illusions_**

_Summary:_ Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Well, it took a while to find the motivation to write this chapter, but finally here it is :) Thanks for the reviews so far, I appreciate the feedback ;)

So here is chapter 6, just in time for Christmas! Enjoy!

**Warnings: **Sexual content, violence, strong language, homosexuality of course

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Chapter 6 Reminiscence

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James and Matt had spent most of the day preparing the food for their New Year Eves party, while Tai, Timmy and Marco tidied up the house. It had almost been a week since Timmy and Marco had found out about Tai and Matt being together, and needless to say neither of them had taken the news very well. Timmy had been avoiding Matt like the plague, whereas Marco had been trying to make Tai jealous by flirting with Matt full on.

"How's the food preparation going?" Marco purred as he ventured into the kitchen and purposely brushed himself against Matt from behind. Matt's eyebrows fell inwards as he stopped cutting up the fish that was in front of him. James sniped a warning look at Marco who glanced back over at the young English man with a fake innocent expression on his face. He was quick to shoo Marco out the kitchen.

"That kid will never learn," James sighed while Matt chuckled softly, he then watched as Matt continued to cut up the fish.

"You enjoy cooking, ne?" Matt blushed a light shade of pink.

"I used to cook a lot when I was younger," Matt admitted as he focused on the blade of the knife he was using to slice up the fish. His eyes abruptly widened while his pupils shrunk in shock. His dad's reflection was glaring back at him menacingly on the metallic sharp blade. Then he groaned in pain.

"Shit! Yamato, are you ok?" James instantly asked, his eyes filled with fear and concern as he rushed over to Matt's side. A deep cut ran across the back of his left hand with blood oozing out of the open wound. The blond gritted his teeth as James quickly acted and pressed a damp teacloth against his injured hand. He then shook his head slowly and shut his eyes partly.

"I shouldn't have put you off with my question," James sighed before reopening his eyes to find that Matt was staring at him seeming rather bemused. He blushed before he quickly stared down at the fish on the cutting board.

"My fault, I was being careless," Matt admitted uneasily. James let go off the teacloth when he realised that Matt had completely tensed up then immediately apologized. The blond used his other hand to press the cloth against his injured hand while he shut his eyes tightly.

"You may need stitches," James mentioned after catching a glance of the cut after Matt had quickly lifted the teacloth to take a peep. His blue eyes widened as James eyed the phone on the holder against the wall, besides the kitchen doorway.

"No!" Matt instantly snapped before pushing the cloth against his hurt hand again, "I can't stand hospitals."

James parted his lips, about to ask the question that Matt was dreading him to ask, but he soon closed them again and half smiled.

"Ok, I understand," James sighed running his fingers through his wild black hair as his eyes directly made contact with Matt's for a few seconds.

No he doesn't, Matt thought as James made his way towards one of the kitchen drawers to search for a medical kit. Matt knew that James was only being kind and polite, and the only thing he did understand was that he didn't want to speak about his past.

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The guests started to arrive at eight o'clock. James rushed into the hallway before he pulled the front door open as the doorbell chimed yet again.

Kari, Daisuke and a young woman who looked around the age of twenty, were all huddled on the doorstep shivering slightly despite they were wrapped up in layers of clothes. James allowed them to come in, then he called out Tai's name. The brunette came bounding into the hallway, his eyes filled with curiosity when he saw Kari, Daisuke and Jun, who was Daisuke's older sister, all standing in front of him.

"Mum wants you to come home," Kari announced, she shook her head as James offered her a glass of champagne. Daisuke placed his arm around Kari's waist while he nodded in confirmation.

"Our party will be _so _much more fun with you there!" Daisuke cheerfully informed. Taichi frowned and Daisuke instantly moved his arm away from Kari. He then shook his head firmly before placing an arm on his hip.

"I'm staying here for New Years," Tai explained feeling slightly guilty as Kari's face crumpled in disappointment, even though he knew that he _had _to stand his ground. He took a step forward before he placed an arm on Kari's shoulder.

"Tell her that I'll come home a few days before the end of the holiday," He sighed in a compromising tone of voice as Kari sadly eyed the doorway where Timmy was now standing. Daisuke pouted and glanced down at the floor for a few moments.

"Alright," Kari said before she hooked her arm around Daisuke's, "We'd better go back."

"Want me to give you a lift back?" Tai warmly offered after giving his sister a hug.

"It's ok, Jun drove us over here," Kari informed as she tilted her chin in the young woman's direction, who happened to be Daisuke's older sister. Jun smiled politely.

"I'll get them home safely," She promised, Tai smiled feeling reassured that his sister was in safe hands. Jun was a very careful diver, and Daisuke was very protective over Kari. He was actually rather glad that she had a boyfriend like Daisuke.

"Take care and be safe," Tai said in a stern tone after giving his sister another hug, she smiled before playfully punching him in the arm as she told him that they would be fine.

A few of Tai's friends arrived after Kari, Daisuke and Jun had left. Koushiro arrived with his girlfriend, Mimi Tachikawa. How they had become a couple was mystery that would probably never be solved, after all they were like chalk and cheese. Mimi was far more irrational and laid back than Koushiro, but somehow their personalities failed to clash.

"Oh, Mimi, Iz, this is Yama," Taichi introduced as he slipped an arm around Matt's waist. Mimi grinned in excitement when she rested her eyes on the couple, while Koushiro smiled politely while he extended his arm out towards Matt.

"I'm Koushiro 'Izzy' Izumi," Koushiro said as Matt shook his hand firmly.

"You two make such a cute couple!" Mimi cooed as her eyes darted back and forth between Matt and Tai, like a swaying pendulum. Tai blushed as Matt chuckled uneasily.

"Beer anyone?" James asked.

By one a.m. Tai's pupils were extremely dilated and as he spoke to Koushiro, about how amazing soccer was, he was clearly slurring his words. Out of the corner of his eye, Tai saw Matt leave the room. His body tingled with excitement when Matt's blue eyes made brief contact with his own eyes, before a seductive glimmer appeared in the depths of them.

"Excuse me for a few minutes," Tai said to Koushiro, who seemed relieved that the drunken brunette had walked out off the room.

Tai staggered down the corridor with a can of beer clasped in his hand, wondering where Matt had disappeared. He froze in fear when the hallway light suddenly flickered out, his eyes started to nervously dart around the pitch-black corridor. Suddenly two arms flung around his waist from behind.

"Bedroom," Matt whispered into his ear as one of his hands fell towards the bulge in his jeans. Tai gasped out in a mixture of surprise and pleasure as his beer slipped out off his hand. He tilted back his head as Matt traced his lips against the sensitive skin of his neck before they stumbled into the moonlit bedroom they were sharing. Matt immediately shoved Tai onto his bed before he joined him, instantly straddling him while his fingers started to unbutton his shirt, which was soon hanging halfway off one of his arms. He then undid the buttons on his shirt before he leant over and caught Tai's lips with his own.

Matt's fingers glided across Tai's hip as he started to sweep his tongue across the brunette's collarbone, causing him to sigh out gently. He then moved his lips near to Tai's ear before he whispered, "You're so beautiful."

Taichi shivered as Matt's breath tickled his ear, the alcohol in his blood had increased his sensitivity of his receptors though his thought process had slowed evidently. Before he didn't feel ready to do anything sexual with Matt, now he didn't care. His mind was clouded and he felt as if he was dangerously freefalling; and he loved it.

Matt unzipped Tai's trousers before he placed his hand on the bulge in his tight briefs, causing a small desperate sigh to escape from the brunette's lips. Tai withered as the blond haired teenager bit lightly down on his right nipple, then his left, before he slid his tongue down to Tai's bellybutton leaving a trail of glittering saliva in its wake. Tai's trousers were soon round his ankles and Matt was admiring the impressive lump in the brunette's underwear.

"Touch," Tai breathed as he managed to shake his jeans off his ankles, so that they fell onto the floor, before he raised his knees and split his legs apart slightly. Matt smirked. His finger then teasingly traced itself across Tai's cloth covered erection as he leant forwards and brushed their lips together once again. Their tongues started to dance like hot flames of passion as Matt's un-bandaged hand slipped beneath the elastic of his briefs before his fingers started to massage his penis.

"You're burning hot down there," Matt soon whispered once their kiss had ended. Tai sighed out gently, then he watched in anticipation as Matt's hand started to tug down his briefs exposing the most private part of his body. The blond immediately pressed his hand against it smirking as Tai shuddered in obvious pleasure.

"Ya…Yama," He whispered softly as Matt started to rub him teasingly, his hands tightly gripped the bedcovers as the bed started to slowly rock back in forth in rhythm to his gyrating hips and the movement of Matt's hand. He was now in a trance, unable to say anything but Matt's name while the very same blond continued to satisfy him. His orgasm was slowly building; he could feel toes and fingers tingle like they always did when he was sexually excited.

Tai then curiously wondered for a few moments if he'd be any good at pleasuring Matt. He had never touched another guy _down there _before, so the only experience he actually had was from touching himself.

"You're swelling up beneath my fingers," Matt purred as he swept his tongue across the brunette's collarbone, before giving him another love bite.

"Ahh… Yama, please don't stop!" Tai whimpered as he suddenly gripped onto the loose material of Matt's unfastened shirt. The blond smirked before he kindly fastened the pace of his wrist as he allowed his fingers to wrap around Tai's erection. A pleasant intense feeling was building in his lower abdomen, he started to gasp rapidly as he felt hips buckling as they gave way to the strong waves of pleasure that were gently washing over him.

"Come as hard as you need to, Taichi," Matt murmured as he brushed his unoccupied hand across Tai's hip.

"Ah… Ah…" Tai continued to groan as his orgasm started to reach its peak; he stretched his entire body out then tightly wrapped his arms around Matt's waist as he tightly shut his eyes. A powerful feeling of bliss suddenly enveloped his very being, he felt so happy, so comfortable, so… free.

Matt grinned as he felt the wetness and warmth of Tai's seed cover his hand, the brunette twitched underneath him and moaned out loudly in his soft sweet voice. He then smiled as Matt's lips started to attack his own again while his hand started to slide round to his bare backside.

"Would you like an orgasm ten times more pleasurable than that?" Matt then breathed into Tai's ear. The brunette could feel himself become hard yet again as the blond's gentle breath tickled his sensitive earlobes. Tai opened his eyes and nodded greedily, he was desperate to have Matt's lips and tongue consume his manhood, in fact he wanted Matt _inside _of him because he was too drunk and too sexually aroused to even muse over the possibly consequences.

Matt brushed a hand across Tai's sweaty forehead while they quietly stared at each other. There was definitely a connection between them now, despite Matt not wanting it to be there.

"Get the fuck off him, Ishida!" A drunken voice spat from the doorway. It was Timmy and he was trembling with pure fury, as was his voice.

"You're a fucking user!" Timmy hissed.

Matt gritted his teeth and Tai's lips parted in shock.

The blond quickly hopped off the bed while he did his shirt back up incorrectly before rushing out the room to confront Timmy, only to have the angry brunette roughly grab him by his arm before swinging him round, slamming him against the wall harshly. Before Matt could say anything Timmy's fist made contact with his left cheekbone, his head jolted back and painfully smashed against the wall. He barely had time to recover from the previous blow when Timmy punched him again, only this time in the stomach. He doubled over in agony as Timmy took a couple of steps back, an enraged expression was apparent on his face though it was difficult to see in the almost pitch-black corridor.

"Not so tough now," Timmy scowled as Matt pressed his injured hand against his stomach before he managed to stand up straight. Unknown to Timmy, a dangerous glimmer had appeared in the depths of Matt's eyes- an intense glimmer of anger. His right hand gradually tightened into a fist as he curled his fingers in towards his palm, then he swung his arm forwards. Timmy grunted in a mixture of shock and pain as his head jolted back violently, he placed a hand on his jaw, where Matt had hit him, before he glared at the blond who was breathing heavily.

"Bastard!" Timmy hissed before he threw another punch towards Matt's unguarded face. Matt effortlessly raised his arm to block his blow before he grabbed Timmy's wrist and roughly twisted his arm back immediately causing him to bend forwards while he cried out in pain.

"Stop it guys!" Tai shouted as he stumbled out into the hallway clearly swaying unsteadily on his legs. His eyes widened in fear when Timmy managed to punch Matt in the stomach again with his free hand. He wanted to go and help Matt but he was hopelessly frozen to the spot, resembling a rabbit that had just been memorised by the bright headlights of an oncoming car.

Now, Timmy and Matt were crashing from wall to wall as they continued to fight. Tai started to shiver violently as Timmy's fist mercilessly collided with Matt's left eye socket.

"Shit! Calm it you two!" James exclaimed as he heroically made his entrance, after managing to hear all the commotion over the loud music that was playing in the living room. He tried his best to pull the two enraged young men apart once he had switched on the hallway light. Most the guests were now gathered in the narrow corridor as they watched in horror as Timmy accidentally punched James in his drunken rage.

Matt finally found the opportunity to escape once James had managed to pin Timmy to the floor. He quickly darted off down the corridor, carelessly pushing a few people out the way.

There was total silence, apart from Timmy's rapid breathing as he desperately attempted to wiggle away from James. His body soon went limp as he gave up the struggle, though he continued to breath heavily.

James flinched when he heard the front door slam shut. He, and everyone else knew Matt had left. Tai slumped against the wall and instantly buried his face in his hands as he sobbed quietly.

"I'm so sorry, Yama."

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D-Angel: Hmm, well not so sure what to say XD. I was going to add an extra scene at the end, but I've decided to save that for next chapter. I doubt chapter 7 will be up until the new year, perhaps in February… I have a lot of stress right now, so don't get mad at me! Oo

Please review anyways and tell me what you thought of this dramatic chapter.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, and I'll see you next chapter ;)

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-D-Angel-

24/12/05 (Tis Christmas Eve!)


	8. Chapter 7: Corruption

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary:_ Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Finally, I have completed this chapter! It's almost been a year since I posted up Chapter 6, and I do feel bad. I am at University now, doing a Film Studies and Creative Writing degree, and I love it! It's got me in the mood for writing again, so yey! Sorry for taking so long to finish this chapter anyway, hope you guys enjoy it:)

**Warnings: **Sexual content, violence, strong language, homosexuality of course

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Chapter 7 Corruption

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Yamato shivered violently as he clambered into his car- it was snowing heavily, and all he was wearing on top of his shirt was his flimsy black jacket, which was barely suited for near artic temperatures. Tears were threatening to seep from his eyes as he roughly slammed the key into the ignition and started the car's engine. He knew he was hardly in a good enough state to drive- he was slightly drunk, and not to mention shook up from what had happened back at the party.

He flinched as his hand casually brushed against a forming bruise around his left eye, before he harshly pulled the handbrake back, slammed his foot hard against the accelerator, and skidded off dangerously down the icy road. Perhaps he'd crash and reassuringly die a tragic young death…

The thought was very pleasant at that precise moment.

A mixture of loud sounds echoed through his mind as he pressed his foot down harder onto the accelerator, though the hum of the engine was not noisy enough to drown out the distressing sounds spiralling around haplessly in his head. Cries, shouts, grunts, and desperate wails- it was all too much, he couldn't block them from his mind now that he was in the confinement of his car.

Midnight black hair, dark, lush green eyes.

'_Yamaaaa-kun!'_

Slamming his foot on the break, the sounds abruptly faded as the tyres squealed loudly against the asphalt, somehow managing to stop nearby to the pavement. He couldn't stand another moment of being in such a constricting and suffocating space. Yamato yanked the keys out from the ignition, before hastily stepping out of his car into the bitter cold air outside. Locking the door he shivered as he heard the sound of laughter coming from a group of drunken teenagers on the opposite side of the road, stumbling stupidly down the pavement as they tried hard not to spill the beverages gripped in their surely frostbitten hands.

Yamato frowned. Instinctively he had driven into town, possibly the worst place to be on New Years Day. Second worst actually, after what had happened back at James' place.

He uneasily gazed up at the blackened sky looking at the innocent dazed snowflakes that were drifting slowly towards their doom, before he stuffed his keys into his jacket pocket and decided to mooch along the slush-covered pavement. Numbness was all he was feeling then, the thoughts that had plagued his mind earlier had temporarily vanished the moment he had stepped out his car.

At least in the open air he felt slightly more in control.

"Fancy a bit of company?" A soft deepening voice breezed from within the shadows of the dark alley Yamato had just ambled past, causing him to immediately stop in his tracks. His heart started to beat wildly against his chest when he became aware that a figure had stepped out from the alleyway and was eyeing him up in interest. Yamato kept his hands tucked firmly in his jacket pockets as he shuffled around on the icy pavement to face the person standing behind him.

He was almost Yamato's height and was sexually appealing. Yamato studied the young man's face first; his features were delicate- thin, soft looking lips, a slim nose, and seemingly relaxed indigo eyes that were more likely to be contact lenses than his natural eye colour. He had dark shoulder length hair, the colour was hard to make out in the dimly lit street, but Yamato presumed it was black. A number of snowflakes were stuck to the long black coat he was wearing over his slim frame, and his hands were resting snugly in the pockets of the coat.

Yamato knew immediately that this young man was a prostitute.

"Well?" The young man asked with an irritated edge to his voice. Yamato's fingers hesitantly fiddled with a few notes of yen in his pocket, before slowly exposing them to the cold air. He extended his arm out towards the seemingly impatient young man.

"What can I get from this?" Yamato awkwardly muttered as the other man eagerly took the money from him, making sure to count it carefully. A serious business-like expression remained fixed on his face as he stuffed the crumpled notes into his coat's pocket, before he made eye contact with Yamato.

"A hand job, or a blow job; anything but full sex really," He casually replied, while subtly signalling for the blond to follow him down the alleyway.

"I'm not after sexual favours," Yamato admitted, and was somewhat amused by the expression of confusion that appeared on the younger man's face. He raised an eyebrow in curiosity as he once again analysed the attractive blond haired man.

"Then… what?"

It was crystal clear that the dark haired man had never been in such a scenario before, but then it wasn't everyday that a prostitute was actually treated and looked upon as a general human being.

_All he knows is sex_, the blond sadly thought, before he flinched in recollection. It was ironic really; sex, drugs and alcohol were all _he_ used to know, until he met Kazu…

"You want to go somewhere to chat?"

The look on the young man's face was a clear 'no, fuck off'- but since he had been handed a generous sum of money and hadn't been expected to perform his usual nightly services, he politely accepted Yamato's offer though making it clear that he had an hour limit.

They settled for a nearby coffee shop, one that seemed to be open twenty-four hours a day everyday, all year round. Yamato recalled going there with Taichi and various other people a month or so ago one morning, before they went shopping. He felt the corners of mouth curl up vaguely as he recalled the fun he had that day, though he soon noticed that the young prostitute he was sitting opposite was staring at him in bemusement.

"You're the first person to ever buy me a coffee," The young man admitted, though there was hardly any relief present in his gentle voice; Yamato could definitely detect confusion with a generous topping of suspicion. He watched fixatedly as the man swept a few messy strands of his hair- which was actually an unnatural dark shade of purple, almost the same colour as a ripe nectarine - not really knowing what to say.

Yamato soon took a desperate sip from his coffee mug when he realised the purple-haired man was gazing, with one eyebrow raised, at the forming bruises on his face. He didn't say a word though, probably rationally thinking that it was none of his business. Yamato was grateful when the other man sharply turned his head towards the frost-covered window.

The silence between them remained for quite a while. The purple haired man tried hard to act as if he was not bored out of his mind, but he was unable to prevent a small stifled yawn from escaping between his parted lips. Yamato started to wonder why he had paid the prostitute to chat to him when he was hardly in the state to even string a worthy sentence together. No amount of coffee could sober him up now.

"I need a piss," Yamato loutishly confessed, knowing all to well the disadvantages of drinking too much. He stood up stiffly hearing the sound of his car keys and loose change jangling in his jacket pockets as he moved away from the table, bending his legs so he could successfully slide out of the small space between the table and chair. Yamato didn't even turn his head as he awkwardly staggered down the aisle, towards the toilets at the back of the shop. He knew the prostitute was following him.

---

"_You're such a pretty boy." The young blond haired boy shuddered as a strong hand landed heavily on his shoulder. His blue eyes started to water as the man's other hand brushed slowly across his cheek. He then bit down uneasily on his lower lip._

"_Make it quick," The boy muttered as he uncurled his fingers from the vodka bottle clasped in his hand._

_--- _

Yamato involuntarily shivered after he zipped up his jeans. Images he had kept buried for so long were now crawling their way up to the surface, in a desperate bid to be freed. And, the young purple haired man he had picked up on the street could easily recognize that Yamato was emotionally unstable, knowing also that something disturbing was playing on his mind just by catching a brief troubled glimpse in his blue eyes.

"I could be servicing other clients now, you know? I'm a streetwalker, not a psychiatrist." The young man reached into his coat pockets and pulled out the money that Yamato had offered him. "Here," he smiled weakly as he handed Yamato back the creased notes, "My way of saying thanks for the coffee."

Yamato refused to take back the money. It was obvious that most people did not choose to sell their bodies to complete strangers for trivial reasons, and Yamato knew that at the core of the seemingly calm purple haired man was probably a fragile soul carrying a truckload of personal problems.

"Thanks," The younger man coolly said with a trace of warmth in his voice, understanding why the blond haired man was allowing him to keep the money. He then silently left the toilet area, to return to the streets to make more money before the night was over.

---

"_Isn't he a bit… young?"_

"_He smokes, drinks, does drugs," A voice muttered matter-of-factly as he snatched crumpled notes from another client, "He's old enough to fuck."_

_--- _

Prostitution; even the word sounded filthy Yamato reflected as he approached the sinks. The thought of those slimy hands of complete sex-driven strangers, sliding across his pale skin made him gag over the basin he was unsteadily stood in front of. His hands desperately gripped onto the sink's edge as his head started to dizzily spin for a few brief seconds. A tightening feeling built in the pit of his stomach, knotting all his inner fears together, therefore making it difficult for him to breathe. He held onto the sink tighter, until his knuckles turned white as the bones strained against his skin.

Shortly after, the constricting feeling in his stomach faded away. He breathed in and out loudly once he recovered, as if he had just run up several flights of stairs. Then, he gazed at his reflection in the mirror and instantly frowned in disgust.

"I told myself I'd only make it a one-off," Yamato sneered out loud into the mirror, as washed his hands under the boiling hot water spurting out the tap, "but when you're helplessly addicted to drugs and booze, you'll do anything to make a bit of cash."

----------

They found him sitting in his car, parked outside a noodle bar, which was evidently shut. Taichi decided he would drive Yamato back to the house, and so Koushiro drove James back in his car. Yamato was barely conscious, though he was capable of repetitively muttering 'sorry' over and over. Taichi rolled his eyes as he tried his best to concentrate on the road- he was hardly sober himself, and thoughts were rushing back and forth his mind like an angry storm.

What a night it had been.

----------

Yamato winced at the light drowning out the room when he woke up, before he swore out loudly as the pain from his injuries, in the fight he'd had with Timmy, became perceivable. He slowly sat up, then stretched out his aching limbs, until realizing that Taichi's bed was neatly made. Gripping his throbbing forehead with one his hands, he managed to swing his legs over the edge of the bed; and that was when the door opened, creaking faintly on its hinges.

He squinted at the extra light that shone its way into the room, trying to see who it was that had just stepped in. It didn't take him too long to see that it was Taichi, who was holding a glass of water in one hand and a packet of headache tablets in the other. The brunette made no effort to walk over to Yamato, however, feeling slightly intimated with the way he was staring at him.

'He looks like he wants to attack me with some sort of rusted implement'.

It soon dawned on Yamato that all he was wearing was a pair of boxer shorts. Taichi must have undressed him, and had most likely laid his eyes upon the part of his past that he had tried to keep hidden. It also explained why Taichi seemed nervous about something.

"Come here," Yamato quietly instructed as he broke make eye contact with Taichi. Taichi almost instantly obeyed and approached the bed before sitting himself on the edge of it, after placing the objects in his hands onto the small bedside table.

Yamato cupped Taichi's chin and tilted his head upstairs before he caught the brunette's lips with his own. It took Taichi a while to respond, but he was soon kissing Yamato deeply. He wrapped his arms around the mysterious blond haired guy as they both fell back onto the pillows and tangled duvet.

His boyfriend's hands delicately traced the apparent scar lines across the flesh on his back, and the sensation immediately made him twitch uncomfortably. Remembering where those marks had come from always made him feel physically sick.

"Yama, those scars on your back…" Taichi's voice soon faded, he saw a vulnerable quiver ripple briefly through Yamato's eyes and decided that he was not in the state to answer such questions just yet. He had, however, said enough to make Yamato completely tense up, so that it then felt like he was hugging a bag of concrete.

"You don't know of the things I've done in the past," Yamato quietly explained, "you'll hate me for them."

He managed to wiggle out of Taichi's comforting embrace, then sat up with some of the covers wrapped around his legs. The brunette was quick to copy Yamato by sitting up, before they locked eyes for a few tender moments.

Without a word of warning, Taichi's warm body was pressed up against his, the brunette's arms protectively enveloping him. With Taichi holding him closely he felt somewhat safe.

"Yamato, I love you regardless of your past," Taichi said with a firm and serious voice. He clung onto Yamato even tighter while he buried his head into his shoulder as he quietly added, "Just don't let it push me away from you, please."

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D-Angel:  Can I hear an 'Awww!'… No? Well, fine. So yes, more of Yama's past has been revealed, and there's obviously a lot more to come… Don't worry; I'm not going to reveal a tiny bit per chapter, I have cunning plans… I think, he he. Next chapter, I'm hoping I can make it relatively fluffy so people can actually smile, lol. Don't expect miracles, but I'll try to have the next chapter up by around November. Well, until then, I shall see you later! Please review, I love you guys muchos.

P.s. Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes... I haven't had time to proof-read this chapter properly (

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-D-Angel-

22/10/06


	9. Chapter 8: Obligation

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary: _Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Yes, it took long enough but I finally finished another chapter. I have a lot of free time, so I am going to dedicate a lot of it to my story writing since I realize I should have finished this story a very long time ago ;P But hey, it's still fun to write and I hope you guys like this chapter…

**Warnings:** Sexual content, violence, strong language, homosexuality

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Chapter 8 Obligation

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_"Yamaaa-kun!"_

"Nggh, sleepy."

The blond haired teenager turned over and threw the covers completely over him. A warm, almost child-like chuckle rang like an echo throughout a huge empty hall. He recognized that beautiful laugh. Slowly, Yamato pulled the covers down away from his face, before his blue eyes widened out of shock.

A distinctive figure was leaning over him; strands of his black spiky chin length hair were hanging in front of his stunning green coloured eyes. A wonderful grin was pasted firmly on his face. Yamato continued to stare in disbelief. It was Kazu Sakuma.

"You can't sleep _all_ day," Kazu sighed, now sitting on the edge of the bed. Yamato instantly sat up and shuffled back towards the headboard. He knew that Kazu sitting on his bed was illogical. Kazu was...

"What's… wrong?" Kazu quietly asked. His expression had become one of concern and bemusement. Everything seemed so real; the soft feel of the covers wrapped around his nude body, the wonderful comforting forest pine scent that Kazu had.

'There is no way this is a dream,' Yamato thought. His muscles finally relaxed, and at the same time, the scared look on his face faded away. Hesitantly, Yamato stretched his arm out towards Kazu, worrying a little that the beauty sitting by him was only an illusion. A small gasp escaped from his trembling lips when his hand brushed against Kazu's arm.

"You're…You're really here."

"Yama?" Kazu still looked rather puzzled, but pleased nevertheless that his lover was seemingly acting so pleased to see him. A thought then occurred to the younger boy.

"Oh, another bad dream?"

Yamato was trembling, his eyes started to well up with diamond-like tears. He nodded his head slowly and Kazu immediately moved closer to him, the rusty bed springs creaking in pain as he did. The black haired boy straddled, then wrapped his arms around Yamato's waist and rested his head upon his shoulder for a few blissful minutes.

"I feel like I've been having an eternal nightmare," Yamato choked as he lovingly ran his hand against Kazu's soft cheek. The younger teenager mewed at the sensation of his boyfriend's touch.

"So glad you're the first thing I got to see when I woke from it."

Kazu smiled and leant forward, allowing their lips to graze together. The blond put an arm carefully around Kazu's neck as the kiss gradually become more passionate. In excitement, the younger boy joined Yamato under the covers, his heart beating rapidly against his ribcage as he pressed himself up against his nude boyfriend.

"I want to eat you all up," Yamato erotically whispered through their kisses.

"Yama, you're making me blush!" Kazu shyly said as he tightened their embrace, while one of Yamato's hands slid underneath his t-shirt. He sighed out softly as his boyfriend's fingertips traced across his soft flesh. Yamato then squeezed Kazu's hardening manhood through his jeans, smiling dirtily as his lover squeaked in a combination of surprise and pleasure. He then started to fiddle with the zip on Kazu's loose fitting jeans.

"Let's start by taking these damn things off!"

Yamato held Kazu right up against him as they made love, savouring every second of making the young teenager tremble and whimper out in enjoyment. How lucky he was to have found someone as beautiful and amazing as his Kaz, yet this moment all felt too good to be true.

Kazu giggled childishly after they had both climaxed, and Yamato could not help but smile. Panting quietly, he ran the back of hand across Kazu's cheek.

"That laugh of yours is too cute," he stated tiredly while the younger boy once again rested his head on his shoulder. Kazu blushed heavily, but he was unable to prevent another small chuckle from escaping between his parted cherry lips.

"I just love the orgasms you give me," Kazu shyly admitted when Yamato eventually slid out of him. The blond smirked at hearing this, and deliberately brushed his hand against the tip of Kazu's manhood. He shuddered in delight, then closed his eyes and sighed out as Yamato started to rub his hand up and down his throbbing penis.

"Let's see how much you can endure…"

…………………

Yamato woke up on the sofa. How he had ended up there was a complete mystery. Trying to sit up, Yamato instantly recoiled in agony as a painful force hammered heavily against his forehead. He swore out loud just as Kazu walked into the room.

"Howa feeling?

"Eugh, like I've been hit by a train," Yamato groaned as he clutched his forehead with his hand. Kazu carefully moved Yamato's hand away from his forehead and winced as his hand made contact with the older teenager's burning hot skin.

"You have a fever, you need to rest," Kazu instructed after moving his hand away from Yamato. The blond haired teenager admittedly did feel rather feverish after Kazu had mentioned it; his limbs were aching and a sudden wave of nausea had overcome him. He whined quietly in discomfort and Kazu reassuringly squeezed his hand.

"Don't worry; I'm here Yama-chan."

"I…can't cope," Yamato sobbed, "I can't cope without it…please, get me some."

Kazu instantly let go his hand and quickly hurried towards the dining room table. Yamato's quivering blue eyes lit up.

"I'm going to get some paracetamol- no more heroin- we need the money for food," Kazu sternly lectured while he grabbed his coat from the back of one of the dining table's splintered chairs.

"Heroin will cure my aches," Yamato sighed as his eyes followed Kazu across the room. He pulled a face of disappointment Kazu turned to face him with an uncompromising expression on his face.

"No, Yama-kun, you have to fight it," he lectured before he slipped into his coat, "that's why I helped you escape from there."

Yamato knew that Kazu was speaking sense; he could be so much more mature than him at times despite their two year age difference. He continued to watch Kazu until he disappeared into the bathroom. He shortly returned with a cold flannel.

"You shouldn't be nursing me, you're only fourteen," Yamato softly mentioned as Kazu sat besides him.

"Oh no, guess that means I'm too immature and emotionally challenged for sex then," Kazu mischievously said as he carefully placed the flannel on Yamato's scolding hot forehead. The older teenager curled his lips into a small smile.

"You little punk… if only I wasn't feeling like death…"

Kazu grinned.

"You had me barely a few hours ago, I'm that addictive huh?"

"You're my new heroin," Yamato purred as he slid his arm around Kazu's slender waist. Kazu cheeks flushed bright red. The blond then forced their lips together, and Kazu moaned lightly as he felt Yamato's tongue brush against his own. His green eyes were dancing with happiness as he gradually pulled away for his older lover.

"Rest now and you can fuck me all you want later," Kazu provocatively decided, immediately causing one of Yamato's eyebrows to arch in surprise.

"Kaz! Such filth… I like it."

Kazu locked lips with Yamato once more before he leant further forwards so that his hot breath was teasing his boyfriend's earlobes. The sensation always drove Yamato wild.

"I love you," Kazu whispered.

"Love you too, Kiddo, you're my rock." Yamato then laced his fingers with Kazu's for a few moments as they intimately gazed at each other. Their eye contact was soon broken when Yamato blinked as he winced in obvious discomfort. Kazu helped him prop his head back against the pillows then planted a small kiss on his nose.

"I'll be back soon, ok? Take it easy."

The black haired beauty cheerfully grinned before he left the apartment. Yamato felt an empty feeling form in the pit of his stomach; he hated being away from Kazu for even a second.

After a couple of minutes of waiting, he sighed softly and turned over, only to have something hard dig into his side. Rolling away from the hard object, he pulled the sheet to the side to see what it was. It was Kazu's inhaler.

"Shit." Yamato quickly threw his damp sheet off him and rushed into the bedroom, swaying unsteadily on his feet as he quickly grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt. He then ran towards the front door, slipping into his shoes in what looked like one swift movement, before he stepped out the apartment. His feet heavily crashed against the rotting floorboards as he flew down the narrow hallway, before taking a sharp left and then a right which led to a stone spiral staircase.

Yamato almost collapsed when he had reached the bottom of the staircase. He knew that he physically was not in the right state to go outside, but to him this was an emergency. Kazu had been asthmatic since birth; he had been told that it was vital that carried his inhaler around with him, since even the smallest trace of pollen or dust could trigger an attack. Yamato had seen Kazu have asthma attacks before, and he dreaded to think what could happen if he had one on the way to the shops.

Dashing down to the pavement, he breathed a small sigh of relief when he saw Kazu a few metres in front of him on the opposite side of the road. He slowed his pace.

"Kazu!" Yamato yelled out, before his eyes abruptly bulging with shock as he felt two pairs of arms grab onto him. Kazu immediately spun around at the sound of Yamato's voice and gasped in horror.

"Yama-kun!"

"Get the fuck off me!" Yamato yelled, adrenalin searing through his veins as he struggled to break free from the men's grasps. The inhaler fell from his hand and bounced slowly against the concrete after a third man winded him by punching him in his stomach. Another man then kicked him harshly in the back of his legs, causing him to crumple onto the pavement in agony.

The rest happened so fast, yet in this particular instance the whole incident occurred in slow motion. Kazu hurried into the road in attempt to reach Yamato, only he never made it. A car had come screeching around the corner, the sound of its tires screaming against the tarmac pierced the air loudly. Kazu's eyes in widened shock.

Yamato struggled to rise into kneeling position in time to witness everything.

"Kazu!"

A gunshot ripped loudly through the air, almost deafening Yamato. One of the men was shaking, holding a gun unsteadily in his hand which Yamato noticed was pointed directly at Kazu.

The black haired teenager staggered backwards onto the edge of the pavement as the bullet pierced through his stomach. The car deliberately swayed across, so it was now aligned with Kazu. Yamato winced as the car slammed directly into Kazu's side, sending him into the air before his body smashed heavily against the windscreen. He then rolled off and thudded hard onto the tarmac as the car sped on, before it finally stopped at the very end of the road.

"No…" Yamato quietly muttered as he stared at Kazu's body lying motionlessly on the ground, he then rose unsteadily to his feet, "No!"

"We did warn you Ishida," A gruff male voice sneered, his voice instantly made Yamato's blood boil in anger. The blond ran over to where Kazu was, not caring for one second that the men would probably follow and grab him.

"No, Kazu… please, stay with me," Yamato sobbed as he knelt down and lifted the injured teenager into his arms. He could feel Kazu's chest struggle to rise up and down, and he felt sickened to see that his once sparkling green eyes were clouded with pain. His trembling lips kept trying to open, but he was unable to utter a single sound.

"Oh God," Yamato gasped when a dribble of blood appeared out of the corner of Kazu's mouth. "Hold on, please, Kaz."

He watched hopelessly as Kazu slowly drifted into unconsciousness. He then buried his head into Kazu's chest and sobbed lightly as the sound of sirens pierced through the air.

Kazu's warm body and comforting scent all suddenly vanished, and Yamato started to fade from his own dreamlike state

----------

His eyes slowly flickered open, and he instantly wished he hadn't woken up. He was in a hospital, and a tall figure was leaning over him.

"Matt?"

A sense of relief rushed through him after hearing Tai's voice, but he still felt uncomfortable knowing where he was. He sat up abruptly causing Tai to jump.

"What happened? Why the fuck am I here?" Matt's voice was shaking in clear uneasiness, as was his entire body. The awful aroma of medical chemicals, those horrid bright white walls, the humming of life-aiding equipment; Matt felt his chest suddenly tighten as his vision gradually grew hazy while he struggled to breathe.

"Calm down, Yama." A calming voice soothed, before a hand brushed against his bare chest. The skin to skin contact somehow made him feel a little more relaxed. The heavy feeling that was clouding his lungs started to fade, leaving him breathing heavily as he regained his composure.

"Get me out of here," Matt pleaded as his hands anxiously clasped onto the starch-like sheets. He then flinched evidentially when Tai ran a hand across his cheek. The brunette pouted in response as a stab of rejection hammered through his heart, then concluded that Matt's sudden coldness definitely had something to do with what had happened earlier.

"Why am I even here? You know I hate hospitals," Matt said, lowering his voice as he stated his personal fear.

"Don't you remember? You collapsed in the courtyard when we met after your lecture." Tai explained as he watched Matt's eyes glimmer in faint recollection. "I was so worried, you have no idea."

"You should have said that you suffer from panic attacks," Tai sighed as he sat on the edge of Matt's bed.

"It's not exactly something that crops up in an everyday conversation."

"I guess."

There were a few awkward minutes of silence, before Tai asked a question which he knew was risky.

"What triggered the one you had in the courtyard?"

Matt bit down on his lower lip.

"It… It doesn't matter…"

"It does!" Tai snapped, before he immediately cupped his hand over his mouth and apologised quietly. "I… I just wish I knew more about you sometimes."

Matt sighed guiltily. He had vowed to let Tai know about his past, so it was unfair to expect the brunette not to ask personal questions.

"You just remind me so much of Kazu," Matt softly said, "he always had a smile on his face…always got excited over the smallest things…" A tear slid down his cheek, which Tai took notice of. He cautiously leant forwards and pressed his lips against Matt's for a few seconds before he moved back and saw a content expression on his face.

"When you ran towards me with that huge grin on your face, well, it triggered a memory…" He trailed off, unsure whether to continue; he was finding it difficult to find the right words to use. Matt eventually shook his head, signalling that he did not want to add anything to the conversation, for now.

"I didn't mean to push you. I'm sorry, Yama." Tai whispered; his eyes widened in surprise as Matt's fingers curled around his. His blue eyes then gazed into the depths of the brunette's puzzled brown orbs.

"Chi..."

Matt then blushed- he wasn't sure where or how the nickname had escaped from his lips, but they way he whispered it sounded awfully cute.

"Only my sister calls me that," Tai laughed, he then grinned lazily, "hearing you say it makes me feel strangely happy."

Matt's lips ascended into a small smile, savouring the feeling of a loved one admitting their happiness. He was addicted to that warm electric buzz and was prepared to make sure Tai remained that way, just so they both felt good- but mostly so Tai could discover the sensation of freedom.

"Tai, I...," the first two words had already escaped his lips, there was no turning back now, "…I want to give you everything… _anything _you want." Those weren't the exact words he had wanted to say, but he still meant them just as much.

Tai thought that it was a slightly odd request, but he was not going to deny the offer if it was something that his boyfriend wanted. It did not take him long to decide on what Yamato could give him, he was confident that it was time to push things further.

"When we get back, I want you to sleep with me."

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D-Angel: Hmm, yes, a slight development in the history of Yama's mysterious past, and of course the apparently development in Tai's and Yama's relationship… Next chapter should hopefully be fun to write, that's if I'm not feeling evil ;) Shall promise to not leave it for 7 or so months before I post up the next chapter, especially since I've been working on this story for just over 2 years now, and I'm really hoping to have it finished before the end of this year! Hope you enjoyed reading anyways…

See ya next chapter!

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-D-Angel-

29/05/07


	10. Chapter 9: Existentialism

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary: _Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Ok, so I lied. It took me a lot longer than 7 months to update this... A year and six months in fact. But you guys can forgive me and I can get back on track with this story! Now, this chapter is pretty much a filler chapter, although it is necessary and as important as all the rest. So please, sit back and enjoy a chapter with hardly any angst :)

**Warnings:** Sexual content, oh yes

* * *

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Chapter 9- Existentialism

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"Oh my God! I love funfairs!" Tai exclaimed as he rushed forward into a bustling crowd of old and young people alike. Matt sighed under his breath before he chased after the energetic brunette.

After pushing his way through the crowd, Tai's eyes widened at the sight. Colourful flashing neon lights swirled around stalls with fun looking games and tall rides; including a dilapidated rollercoaster and a humungous Ferris wheel which Tai promptly pointed his finger at. Matt turned deathly pale.

Loud pop and techno music was blasting from various hidden speakers around the venue. Tai bopped his head along the beat while Matt chuckled inwardly. The brunette was entertaining at the best of times.

"Nii-chan!"

Kari was a few paces in front of them with Daisuke. She wiggled through the crowd and rushed up to Tai, before she wrapped her arms around him tightly. Daisuke tried to wave at Tai and Matt, although he had great difficulty since he had a giant cat shaped soft toy cradled in his arms. Kari laughed while she gestured towards the toy, as if Matt and Tai had not already noticed it.

"Dai won me it."

"My basketball skills paid off," Daisuke boasted while he mimed slam dunking the stuffed animal into an imaginary hoop. Tai smirked. He hooked his arm around Matt's.

"Good job."

Daisuke grinned.

"Well, we won't keep you; especially while knowing how long the queues are starting to get," Kari said while sliding an arm around Daisuke's waist.

"Aw, ok," Tai softly said while his eyes darted between the young couple, "stay safe, I'll phone you later."

"Kari's safe with me," Daisuke reassured as he placed his arm around Kari's shoulders, but had to quickly remove it when the soft toy almost fell from his remaining arm.

"Look after my brother, Yamato," Kari giggled. Matt nodded. Tai watched for a moments while Daisuke walked off with Kari before he nudged Matt's hip.

"Lets make the most out of these rides then."

First they went on the waltzers. Matt was quiet throughout the entire ride, although Tai was too busy whooping and cheering to notice. It was not until they had stepped off the ride that Tai realized Matt had turned slightly green.

"Yama, are you ok?" Tai asked, just before Matt was sick into a nearby bin. Tai rubbed Matt's back while they queued up in the food line to get a bottle of water. Matt sighed and shook his head.

"I've ruined our date already."

Tai laced his fingers with Matt's.

"Relax," Tai glanced over at one of the game stands. "Hey, I'll win you a toy later."

Half an hour passed and Matt was sat besides Tai on a bench while he sipped on his bottle of water. Tai was staring in awe at the giant Ferris wheel, although he was convinced Matt probably would not be able to stomach it.

"How are you feeling?"

"Mmm, still a little queasy."

Tai placed an arm around Matt's waist.

"Shall we head back?" Tai breezed into Matt's ear. He shuddered as the brunette's breath teased his earlobe, and caused his heart to start pounding heavily against his chest. Suddenly, he didn't feel sick anymore. He knew what Taichi was implicating, the thought of which made him grow excited.

They hurried back to the car park and Matt drove them back to their University halls of residence.

'_Put your hand in my hand_

_Let me show you the way'_

---------------------

They staggered into Tai's dormitory room just after the clock turned ten. Matt shut the door but did not turn on the light switch. Tai pulled off his trainers before he shimmied over to his bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress. He could just about make out Matt's silhouette on the other side of the room, and he was partially curious as to why the blond haired teenager was just standing there.

Tai chuckled feverishly as he fell backwards onto the bed, his t-shirt riding up above his navel slightly while he shuffled back to prop his head on the pillows. Matt kicked off his shoes and socks before padding over to the bed, as best he could in the darkened room. He sat down and leant over Tai's clothed body before he slid a tongue against his lower lip.

Tai's heart started to drum furiously against his chest. He had never slept with another man before, and he had only slept with one girl in his entire twenty (well almost) years of his life. Tai rolled onto his side when Matt stretched himself out on the bed. Matt turned and faced Tai, who had a hand resting on his cheek. The brunette gasped under his breath as Matt snaked his arms tightly around his waist and pulled his body closer towards his, before eagerly pressing their lips together.

Soon, Tai's t-shirt was on the floor. Matt gently massaged his shoulders as they kissed passionately. Tai shivered at the electrifying sensation he received every time Matt applied pressure with his fingertips to the back of his neck.

"Feels, good," Tai panted as Matt started to plant kisses along his collarbone.

It was not long until Tai was naked and sighing softly while Matt's hands caressed his burning hot flesh.

"You have such an amazing body," Matt breezed into Tai's ear while he slipped a hand down the brunette's stomach and in between his toned thighs. Tai closed his eyes tightly and tried to muffle the moan that attempted to escape from his lips. Matt nibbled on Tai's earlobe while his hand ran up and down the brunette's hardened length. Matt was amused when Tai started to move his hips in a circular motion, to encourage him to speed up his pace.

Tai was at the point of breaking, Matt's touch was driving him crazy and he could no longer hold back his urges.

"I want it, Yama," Tai stated seriously, his brown eyes trembling with lust. It was all Matt had to hear to know that he had permission to take charge. Matt traced a hand over Tai's toned buttocks while he locked their lips together for a few moments.

Tai shivered when Matt slid a finger into his lower entrance, it felt surprisingly enjoyable. It was apparent that Matt was very experienced as he slipped in another finger and continued to stroke his inner walls. Tai was wiggling about on the bed while small gasps emitted from his trembling lips. He sighed in disappointment as Matt withdrew his fingers.

Matt leant over to the side of his bed to search for his wallet inside his jeans, and soon climbed back onto the bed with a wrapped condom between his teeth. He preferred not to use condoms, but with it being Tai's first time, he didn't want to take any risks. He slid the condom over his erection while Tai watched like a naïve schoolgirl. Just as the brunette was about to roll over onto his stomach, Matt grabbed him by his wrists and kept him pinned on his back.

"Stay like this," Matt instructed, licking his lips as Tai stared up at him through nervous eyes. The blond shuffled forward into position.

"I'm going slowly so I don't hurt you," Matt whispered as he pressed the head of his erection up against Tai's entrance. The brunette mewled in pleasure and anticipation. Matt placed one hand on Tai's hip as he slid into him, a small grunt escaping from his own lips. The brunette was tight, a lot tighter than any guy he had ever had sex with.

"How is it?" Matt asked as he looked down at his boyfriend who was wincing.

"Hurts a little," Tai said as a couple of tears slipped down his cheeks. Matt laced his fingers with Tai's and then asked the brunette to sit up. Now Tai was sitting upright on Matt's lap, his chin resting on the blond haired teen's shoulder.

"I'm all the way in now," Matt informed, "all you have to do is sit and relax while I do all the work."

Tai nodded his head and held Matt's hand tighter. The blond started to thrust his hips upwards before lowering them in a continuous pattern, panting as his erection slid back and forth Tai's tight walls. Tai bit down on his lower lip as an uncomfortable pain plagued his body for a couple of minutes. Matt stopped occasionally just so Tai could grow accustomed to the foreign sensations, and to make sure he did not hurt him.

"What do you want me to do?" Matt asked as he gazed down at Tai, "I can stop if you'd like…"

Tai shook his head.

"Go crazy."

Matt smiled. He laced his fingers with Tai's and pushed in deeper, quickening his previous motion. Tai kept his eyes shut tightly as he body started to slide back and forth against the bed covers while Matt rocked his body to and fro. A loud moan fell from Tai's parted lips as Matt wrapped a hand around his erection.

"Keep making those sounds," Matt whispered while he lifted one of Tai's legs over his shoulder while he maintained the same pace. Tai's hands gripped the onto the bed covers while he shivered with ecstasy. With every stroke he could feel himself growing closer towards the point of release, yet he did not want the moment to ever end. He could have quite happily died with Matt fuelling his sexual desires.

Tai had hit the point of no return, he could not hold back any longer. He panted and moaned vociferously as he reached his climax, his seed coating his stomach and Matt's hand. The blond continued to rock his body back and forth, only a lot more vigorously. He dug his nails into Tai's skin as he reached his peak while he arched his body backwards, strands of his damp hair swished from side to side as a long sigh emitted from his parted lips. Tai thought it was a beautiful sight.

Matt collapsed onto Tai's sweat covered body, still breathing heavily, and still inside the brunette. Tai's heart turned to jelly when Matt held him close and whispered how much he loved him. During that instance, all their worries and anxieties were forgotten. All that mattered was that they were together, and nothing could tear them apart.

Tai was first to fall asleep. Matt watched him until he also fell into a state of sleep with his arms wrapped around Tai's waist from behind. He had missed having a warm body to hold at night.

---------------------

Upon waking in the morning, Tai turned around and found the space next to him was once again cold and empty.

* * *

_Song Lyrics:_

**"The Way" **by Divine Inspiration

* * *

D-Angel: Yeah, sorry if the first part of the chapter seemed rushed… I had a great scene in mind where Matt and Tai happily frolicked about on the funfair rides, like one of those super happy montages you get in romantic films (or like in the music video for 'The Way'), but it didn't quite turn out that way. I was probably just too keen to get into writing the sex scene, lol. Been a while since I've written a proper lemon too, surprisingly.  
So, yes, next chapter will most likely be up in early 2009, since I have way too much university coursework to actually focus heavily on my fanfiction (up until the end of January anyways). Also, things will go back to being all angsty, but of course I'll add a bit of fluff and smut.

Hope you enjoyed this filler chapter anyways. Thanks for your patience and all your wonderful reviews so far! Much love.  
I shall see you next chapter!

P.S. Let me know if you spot any spelling/grammar mistakes... I often miss them :(

* * *

D-Angel  
29/11/08


	11. Chapter 10: A Fragile Promise

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary: _Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Finally, this chapter is complete... If it hadn't been for my laptop dying in February this year, I would have had this up about four months ago. But alas, I had to rewrite it, and I must say I am quite happy with the result. Hope you all enjoy :)

**Warnings:** You're reading an M rated story.

* * *

---------------------

Chapter 10- A Fragile Promise

---------------------

Yamato slammed his hands down onto the steering wheel and let out a feral growl from the depths of his throat. The drugs, those drugs had been responsible for destroying so much of his life. He shouldn't have run away, he knew that- problems were like infections. The longer they're ignored the more damage they become capable of inflicting. It was evident that they would discover the new life he had only just started to build and they would stop at nothing to smash it into pieces.

He had been prepared to take such a risk, though gambling the life of a loved one was never something he did willingly. It was practically suicide, returning to his home town after stealing so much money from the pimps and drug dealers he had worked for, and lived with. He knew by returning he had effectively limited the precious time he could be with Taichi. He had to return however, in a bid to finally free his conscience from guilt.

Everything was how he remembered and he had reluctantly ended up in a car park by the cemetery, which held his fair share of unpleasant memories. Yamato stepped out of the car, placing a hand against his tightening chest while he tried to concentrate on slowing his breathing. It was not the time or place to start having a panic attack. After he had regained control of his breathing Yamato headed through the cemetery gates and trudged along the gravel path until he stopped at a small stone marble gravestone.

Kneeling down, Yamato ran a hand across the dusty stone cold marble. His finger ran slowly along the name engraved at the head of the memorial; Takeru Takaishi.

"_Oniiiii-saaan!"_

Yamato's eyes started to sting with tears that were lingering in the corners of his eyes, and his throat felt sore and dry. He wanted to cry. He wanted to cry so badly, but he had made a solemn vow never to cry in front of Takeru. Also, he was very much aware he had company. He could feel a familiar pair of eyes bore into the back of his neck and he could hear the man's heavy breathing.

"Nice of you to join me, Zenaku-san."

Yamato's remark was responded by a dry sarcastic chuckle.

"Arrogant, as always. I see you haven't changed," the man's gruff voice admitted.

Yamato half-smiled as he stood up and turned to face, Zenaku Satoshi, the man who had ironically taken more care of him than his own Father. Yamato was glad to see he hadn't aged well at all; he was only in his mid-thirties but his shoulder length hair was already thinning and grey. Deep set wrinkles were present on his forehead, and his skin was oily, covered in angry red blotches. It was a look that was expected from a lifelong drug addict.

"It's a shame. Takeru would still be here if you'd done things right."

The smile from Yamato's face slowly disappeared as Zenaku continued to talk.

"One careless slip, and they found out everything," the clear mocking edge to his voice which made Yamato sick to his stomach.

"I stood for _you _in court," Yamato reminded as he grit his teeth together. He remembered that day vividly, despite it being almost six years ago. The courtroom had fallen into a deathly silence as a social worker spoke about Yamato's rough lifestyle, how he had sold his body for money to buy drugs and food ever since he'd turned ten, and of course she had to mention his violent tendencies at school, whenever he bothered to turn up.

"He's simply a menace, and a danger to society. No foster families would want him, and with his current mannerisms he wouldn't fit in at a care home," the social worker said in a grave tone. "That boy just needs locking up."

"I believe that may be the only solution," the Judge said coldly. "He even put his own Father's body in the boot of his car, leaving it there for months without telling a soul."

The courtroom gazed at Yamato with disgust and he huffed quietly under his breath. The Judge made it sound like _he_ had murdered his Father, when the truth was no one was to be blamed for the death than Mr. Ishida himself.

"What difference did it make? He was never around when he was alive," Yamato bitterly replied, "no one noticed or even cared that he was gone.

"What about Takeru Takaishi, the brother you killed?"

A pained look appeared in Yamato's mature eyes. The Judge may have well just kicked him to the floor with steel-capped shoes. He could never explain why he had kept so much hidden without being admitted to a mental asylum, and he was certain the Judge was aware of that.

Yamato knew anyone would be more willing to take care of a sweet and loving child than a troublesome teenager who drank, smoked and took drugs. He didn't want to be separated from Takeru again, not like after their parents had split up. That was mainly the reason why he lied about his Father's death, and why he took it upon himself to take care of Takeru by himself. He kept his habits locked behind his bedroom door, in a bid to maintain some sense of normality for Takeru. However, he was unable to keep up the façade forever.

One day Yamato turned up to Zenaku's flat, and found him in a state of anxiety and stress. Turned out the police were highly suspicious of him and had him under close surveillance. He blackmailed Yamato into holding onto a bag of ecstasy, about thirty tablets in total, threatening him to look after them until things had died them.

"That shit is strong, sells for a bit, so by no means you can steal any!" Zenaku growled, "Else you'll be owing me big time, boy!"

Upon returning home Yamato left them on the dining room table, not thinking much of it before letting Takeru know that he was heading to the store to buy some ingredients for their dinner. Upon his return, Yamato immediately sensed something was wrong. The flat was dead quiet. Usually Takeru was playing music from his room, or was watching television.

Yamato thought nothing more of it, assuming Takeru was sleeping, until the moment he placed his shopping onto the dining room table. The small bag of pills was on the edge of the table, open, and almost half them were gone.

"Takeru?!" Yamato shouted as he spun away from the table, before dashing into his brother's room, but Takeru was not there. In the end he found Takeru collapsed on the bathroom floor in a pool of vomit, barely breathing. He must have mistaken the pills for sweets.

After phoning for an ambulance, Yamato flushed the rest of the pills down the toilet, something else he would later regret.

When the paramedics arrived, Takeru had already slipped into a coma after experiencing a severe cardiac arrest. They rushed him to hospital, but two agonizing hours later they stepped out into the waiting room with somber expressions and told Yamato the news he was dreading.

"Your irresponsibility also claimed the life of your brother," The Judge coldly announced before hitting his gavel down against, "I'm sending you to juvenile prison for one year. I hope for your sake that will straighten you out."

It didn't of course. Yamato realised that what they should have done was send him to rehab, regardless of his young age and apparent 'inability' to cope in an environment with older recovering drug addicts. All juvenile prison taught him was that the quickest way to get a packet of cigarettes, or a few pills, was to suck a few guys off. It was the sort of lifestyle he was already accustomed to.

After his release (six months early because of 'good behaviour'), Yamato was placed into a care home, which he ran away from just days later and was soon back to his old ways, selling his body for drugs and alcohol. His Grandparents were too old and frail to take care of him, and his other relatives still wanted nothing to do with him, so Yamato figured he was better off living in the run down flat he had been familiar with since turning to drugs and prostitution when he was eleven.

"You may have taken the wrap for me, but what you did afterwards makes us far from even," Zenaku threateningly said, breaking Yamato out from his daydreaming trance. He suddenly felt like he was a child again, very vulnerable and unaware of what was on the other man's mind. Zenaku was a man people feared, even his clients were afraid of his vicious temper, and of course they were afraid of the sort of people _he _knew.

"I suppose you want me back?" Yamato said.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're old and worn, what use would I have with you?" Zenaku sneered as he ran his tongue across his greying cracked lips. "You were easy to replace. I just want the money you owe me."

"I needed the money," Yamato said matter-of-factly, "I thought of it as condolence, especially after what you did to Kazu."

"What I had done to Kazu was for your own good," Zenaku sharply retorted as a cocky smile played on face.

"You murdered him. He wasn't even involved, yet you fucking killed him!" Yamato snapped back, breaking away from his usual outward calm persona. He was shaking violently, his breathing was heavy; he was more than pumped for a fight, but the expression on Zenaku's was unusual and eerie. He looked like he had been slapped across the face- he rarely had anyone yell at him, but usually when they did he made sure they would never dare do it again.

Zenaku suddenly leapt at Yamato with a murderous glare in his dull brown eyes and closed his hands tightly around the blond haired man's throat. Instinctively, Yamato raised his arms and feebly tried to tear Zenaku's hands off and away from his neck, but because he had been caught off-guard he was at a slight disadvantage.

"I could kill _you _right now, I could wring your scrawny little neck and be done with you," Zenaku hissed

Yamato's vision started to turn hazy and the colours around him- grey, brown, green- started to run together, like a water-coloured painting. Just as his arms flopped back down by his sides, and his knees were seconds from buckling and giving way, Zenaku released Yamato from his deathly chokehold.

"But what would I gain?"

Yamato fell the ground, gasping with a hand against his reddened neck.

"It's unfair for me to kill you without giving you a chance to redeem your sins, that's why I'm going to be reasonable."

Anger surged through Yamato's veins, yet he was still feeling too shocked over the amount of control Zenaku believed he had over him to lash out or rise to his feet.

"You have until November to pay me back every last yen. After that, I can't be held responsible for my actions," Zenaku delivered his final threat with a chilling tone as he looked Yamato straight in the eye before he walked off without giving Yamato a second glance, scraping his feet against the gravel. Yamato winced at the sound.

He remained on the ground for a few more minutes, his eyes resting on Takeru's grave for one final time before he climbed to his feet and looked over at the graveyard gate with a determined frown on his face. He was going to make sure that he would redeem his sins, and to start with he wasn't going give Zenaku a single penny.

---------------------

'_He ran away, _again_'_, Taichi thought in frustration as he paced the grounds outside his halls of residence with his mobile phone pressed against his ear. He groaned as he heard the empty dial tone yet again.

'_What's the point of having a relationship when he keeps doing this?' _Taichi mused sadly as he trudged back into the building and headed towards his room.  
While tossing his keys onto his bed after kicking off his trainers, Taichi blushed when he was reminded of his previous night of passion with Yamato. The blond had been incredible; Taichi had never felt so alive before, and felt somewhat guilty for rejecting him in the past.

Taichi shook his head. He ran a hand across the bed covers before he sat down and slumped down on his bed. One of Yamato's lighters was sitting on the small bedside table and Taichi pursed his lips together when he noticed it. He slammed his head down onto the pillows on his bed and sighed loudly.

"Why are you so secretive, Yama?"

Taichi's heart skipped a beat when someone knocked sharply on his door. He slowly climbed off his bed to go greet his visitor.

"I'm coming," Taichi stated when another loud knock followed when he was halfway across the room. Without hesitating he opened the door.

"Yamato…"

Yamato looked over his shoulder before he stepped into Taichi's room and locked the door. The blond remained quiet as he pulled off his shoes and placed his jacket on the back of the chair by the desk, covered in text books and lecture notes.

"Yama, you can't keep doing this…"

Yamato faced Taichi, whose expression was one of worry, but at the same time disappointment.

"…I know- I'm sorry," Yamato sighed, allowing Taichi to fall into his arms, "I just had a few things to sort out."

"You could have told me," Taichi said as he nuzzled into the crook of Yamato's pale neck. Yamato bit down on his lower lip. He knew Taichi was right. Yamato was no longer the vulnerable young boy, addicted to all the wrong things and unable to speak out. He was now almost an adult, still fighting off his demons, only with the support he had desperately needed after losing Kazu and very capable of sharing his problems. Taichi had been good to him, ever since the first day they met.

"Yama?"

It was now Yamato's duty to look after and protect Taichi, no matter what.

Taichi arched an eyebrow as Yamato placed a hand on his cheek.

"I love you," Yamato murmured, before he unfastened the brunette's jeans and tugged them down, along with his underwear. Taichi clung onto Yamato tightly as they made love on the bed. He was far more vocal than the other night, begging Yamato to go harder and deeper than ever before. It drove Yamato wild. The countless mindless fucks with girls, boys, whichever he could get his hands on first, before he came to Odaiba seemed so lifeless and pointless compared to what he had with Taichi. Even while Yamato had been with Kazu, he had never really been _himself_, what with the drugs. He knew that the feelings he had had for Kazu were genuine, but their relationship had lacked the fiery passion that burnt between him and Taichi. They clashed, but in a good way, it was what made things so enthralling when they were together.

Taichi rested his head on Yamato's chest breathing heavily as he tried to recover from their ravenous sex marathon. Yamato lit a cigarette before he placed an arm around the brunette. In that single moment, he was feeling the happiest he had been in a long while.

He closed his eyes and smoked his cigarette as Taichi started to stroke the small hairs on his chest.

"You're not going to leave again, are you?"

Yamato slowly moved the cigarette away from his lips and looked down at Taichi, who was still fiddling with the hairs on his chest. He exhaled softly.

"I didn't want to leave before, it's just…," Yamato sighed before he sat up slightly so he could place his cigarette into the ashtray on the nightstand next to the bed. Taichi moved his head of Yamato's chest and studied the blond who now had a hand pressed against his forehead. Taichi ran his hand across Yamato's cheek, tracing his digits down and across his gentle lips. The brunette then leant forward and replaced his fingers with his own lips.

"I love you so much," Taichi whispered, "that's why I'm afraid of losing you."

Yamato wrapped his arms around the brunette and held him close. The words that Taichi had just spoken were ironic, especially when Yamato felt sick at the very thought of knowing he stood more a chance of losing Taichi.

"You deserve to know the truth," Yamato said in a soft tone. "One day I'll tell you everything, and then I'll hope you understand."

* * *

D-Angel: Lots of spilt secrets, yet poor Taichi is still in the dark! But not for long, let me assure you. Would say I'm planning to do 2 or 3 more chapters for this story, most likely the latter, although not all will be as long as this one seemed to be. I realise this story isn't as popular as some of my others, but it's one of my oldest I have managed to maintain over the years, which is why I'm determined to see it through to the end!

Thank you for reading anyways. I'll see you next chapter, which fingers crossed won't take half a year or longer to complete!

* * *

20/07/09

(9 days until I turn 21, bloody hell!)


	12. Chapter 11: Suspicious Minds

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary: _Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: A year a two days later... Here's the next chapter. I would also quickly like to say thanks for the reviews so far and hope you don't mind waiting perhaps a few more months before I finally complete this beast of a story, hehe. There's only three or four more chapters left, two of which have pretty much been written already. Anyways, I'm posting this up before I head into work, so I'd best cut this short by saying; read on and enjoy!

**Warnings:** Just angst and some naughty guy action

* * *

Chapter 11 Suspicious Minds

* * *

"Keep your eyes closed."

"Oh come on, tell me, where are we?" Taichi's persistent voice pleaded after obediently placing his hand back against his eyes.

"Patience sexy legs... Oi, stop peeking!"

"I'm not!"

Yamato rolled his eyes.

'_Such a kid at Christmas.'_

He proceeded to unlock the door in front of them and pushed it open.

"Ok, take a look."

Taichi quickly opened his eyes. There they were stood in the lobby of a foreign apartment, which smelt of what Taichi could only describe as 'kind of new'.

"Who's place is this?"

"Take a guess," Yamato teased. Butterflies started to dance in the pit of Taichi's stomach when he realised who the apartment was for. He slipped out of his trainers and left them in the small lobby as he hastily stepped into the apartment. Yamato watched gladly as Taichi darted around the living room, his sock covered feet drumming rhythmically against the laminated flooring as he investigated each and every aspect of the room, including the leather sofa and armchair which were facing opposite each other with a wooden coffee table between them.

"This is... great!"

He then peeped into kitchen; Yamato's domain. It was quite spacey; not huge or fancy, but the work surfaces were in pristine condition, and the utilities could have easily been mistaken as brand new.

"The previous owner was quite the cook, so I heard. They kept the kitchen in fantastic shape." Yamato folded his arms across his chest as he peered around the room in admiration.  
"Oh, lemme show you the bathroom," Yamato turned around only to find out that Taichi was already standing by the bathroom door. A fortunate guess. His eyes were sparkling with content when he nudged open the door and stepped the room and saw the square shaped hot tub bath resting on top of the blue and white ceramic tiles.

"A bath!"

Of course. Taichi had thrown hints to Yamato about broadening their sexual horizons, so to speak. He knew Yamato had picked this particular apartment with that in mind. Those kitchen work surfaces... leather sofas...

Smiling ever so slightly, Yamato took Taichi by the hand and led him into the final room- the bedroom. It was by far the smallest room in the apartment; and the most noticeable feature was a single bed, with a metal headboard, which rested against the right hand side wall. There was no space for a double bed, unless the wardrobe and bedside cabinet were removed from the room, but then again, the lack of a double bed had never been an issue for them before...

"Wow, our own place," Taichi muttered in amazement. He had wondered why Yamato had sharply turned down the house share proposal that James had offered them (to live with him, Timmy and Marco for their second year of University). Taichi had just genuinely believed that Yamato disliked Timmy so much that he couldn't stand the thought of living with him.

"What's your verdict?" Yamato queried as he moved away from the doorway and stood by the grinning young man's side.

"I love it... But, how much is the rent?" Taichi asked when logical thinking slowly started to replace his excitement as he gazed over at his lover. Yamato just smiled.

"I've sorted out all the finances, so don't you worry."

"But..." Yamato placed his finger against Taichi's protesting lips and silenced him, before pushing him onto the mattress.

"Happy birthday, Chi."

* * *

To begin with Taichi relished living with Yamato over the summer break. They spent the first few weeks unpacking boxes (mostly Taichi's stuff) and making love wherever and whenever they could around the flat. Things seemed perfect even after they settled into a standard weekly routine.

However, the excitement soon started to wear thin, and Taichi had started to pick up on small things about Yamato he had turned a blind eye to before. The most apparent was that Yamato showed no enthusiasm whatsoever towards trying to morph their flat into a cosy love nest. He would barely feign interest when Taichi would wave furniture catalogues in his face, or whenever he made suggestions about buying small ornaments or plants to try and spruce the apartment up.

Upon confronting Yamato about this, the young man had shrugged and said;

"It's in your name so do what _you _want with it."

Taichi had always thought that Yamato's name would have been on the contract somewhere, considering he was the one who had sorted out all the financial costs. And whether it was or was not, it was still irrelevant to the fact that Yamato still could have contributed to adding his own touches to their shared flat.

"Don't you want to spend the future with me?" Taichi piped up one night after Yamato had refused to pick what colour bedcovers to order online.

"Tai..." Yamato felt sickened when he saw the brunette's sad expression. It reminded him of the time Kazu had caught him _secretly _injecting one evening when he had been trying to come off heroin. There was no way he could crush Taichi's spirits despite knowing there time together was potentially limited. He had to act enthusiastic and hopeful, it was the only way.

Yamato looked serious when he placed both his hands on Taichi's cheeks.

"Of course I do."

It was the only reassurance Taichi needed, for the time being.

* * *

"How could Yamato even afford this?" Were the first words that fell out from Timmy's mouth as he gazed around the well-kept living room. Taichi had just given him a tour of the apartment and was curious as to why Timmy had been oddly quiet throughout it, until now.

"I, err..." Taichi's speech trailed off. He actually had no idea how Yamato had paid for the flat. Every time he had questioned him, Yamato had always swiftly changed the topic. Eventually Taichi had just given up on asking. It just seemed a lot simpler that way.

"I'd be suspicious," Timmy warned as he placed a hand on Taichi's shoulder and moved his head somewhat closer than it needed to be towards his face. "He's definitely hiding something if he's not telling you how he can pay for all of this."

Taichi felt uncomfortable with Timmy's warm breath brushing against his cheek, so he took a small step back towards the kitchen archway and folded his arms against his chest. He analysed Timmy for a moment then realised that the brunette no longer bothered spiking his hair up as often as he used to; it was a lot longer in length too, almost reaching the bottom of his ears. It was certainly in need of a good cutting and reshaping.  
Timmy brushed a few strands from his overgrown feathery fringe away from his forehead and released a frustrated sigh from the depths of his throat.  
"He only works part-time, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, but, quit worrying," Taichi groaned as he rested a hand against the nearby wall, "I know he'll tell me, eventually."

Taichi watched in aggravation as Timmy slapped a hand against his forehead before he abruptly turned his back on him.

"You still hardly know him," Timmy coldly uttered as he made his way towards the lobby to tug on his trainers. Taichi followed; his eyes clouded with a foggy glare of frustration and impatience.

"I know him better than you," Taichi retorted childishly as Timmy reached for the door latch. His hand froze the moment his fingers had wrapped around it after he absorbed Taichi's words. His lips gradually twitched to form a small cynical grin before he quickly snapped out of his daze and pushed the door open.

"Perhaps. But, just remember." Timmy spoke as he stepped out onto the walkway. "I know _you_ better than he does."

* * *

Taichi was stretched across the living room sofa, one arm draped across his chest whilst the other hand was holding his phone as he typed out a quick text to Kari. He twitched in surprise as the object started to vibrate harshly in his hand before his catchy dance music ringtone blurred with the muffled voices coming from the television.

The brunette studied the display screen for a few good seconds unable to think why Timmy had a reason to call him. It had only been two days since he had last seen him. Still, he saw no harm in answering the call and forced a smile as he lifted the phone up to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Tai, can I come over?" Timmy's voice was laced with urgency. Taichi was quick to sit up properly, his knees knocking together awkwardly during his change of position.

"What's the matter?"

"Is Yamato there?"

Taichi arched an eyebrow.

"Err, no, but he's gonna be home in a few hours so..."

"...Tai, I know something about Yamato you don't!" Timmy interrupted Taichi with a frantic tone. "I can't say over the phone, I_ need_ to come over. It's something you have to see for yourself."

Taichi's heart pounded profoundly against his ribcage as he rose to his feet. Although Timmy had not revealed to him what he knew about Yamato, Taichi had a strong feeling that Timmy had stumbled upon the key which would unlock Yamato's secretive past once and for all.

But did he really want to hear it coming from Timmy? He knew Yamato had promised one day to tell him everything, but he could not help but wonder if that day was ever going to arrive without a little help from a friend or two.

"Fine," Taichi sighed under his breath, defeated. "Come over."

* * *

D-Angel: And now I leave you all with a cliff hanger. I've already started work on the next chapter, so hopefully I can throw it up within the next month. I also think this chapter was a little on the short side, but oh well, I hope it was somewhat intesting, lol. Things will be very dramatic next chapter!  
Anyways, I have to rush off to work (joy), but yeah thanks for reading and if you fancy reviewing then go for it.

See you all next chapter!

P.S. Let me know if you spot any spelling/grammar mistakes... I know I've probably missed some, ha

* * *

D-Angel  
22/07/10

(1 week until my birthday, craaap)


	13. Chapter 12: Shattered Illusions

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary: _Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: After a few months of writing bits here and there, I present to you another Chapter of Shattered Illusion, and it's actually a chapter I am happy with :) There's four more chapter to go after this, guaranteed. I've been working on this fic for far too long, heh. Thanks for your reviews and patience so far. Hope you all enjoy reading this chapter!

**Warnings:** Angst, strong language, graphic imagery

* * *

Chapter 12 Shattered Illusions

* * *

Nothing felt real anymore. Taichi sat in a state of disbelief at the dining table, his trembling eyes gazing at the printed news articles spread out in front of him as if he was preparing to research for an assignment.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this," Timmy sighed sincerely as he rested a hand on Taichi's shoulder, "but I didn't want you getting tangled in his web of lies."

Drugs, alcohol, prostitution; these were definitely things he should have waited for Yamato to tell him; if they were even true. They must have been though. Despite not having Yamato's name printed in any of the articles, the single picture slapped across one of them of a young boy with wide eyes and light coloured hair bore too much of a striking resemblance to Yamato for it not to be him.

Taichi picked up the article with the picture, ignoring the devastating throbbing sensation plaguing the entirety of his throat.

"He never lied to me," Taichi croaked weakly, "he just never told me."

He squeezed his eyes shut, allowing a small irritating teardrop to trickle down his cheek.

"I'm not surprised," Timmy hesitantly admitted. He then loudly cleared his throat and momentarily squeezed Taichi's shoulder tightly, "But, if you meant _so_ much to him, why couldn't he just be honest?"

As Timmy was trying to comfort him by massaging his shoulder blade, the front door creaked open, then shut again after a small pause of silence. The moment Taichi feared had finally arrived. He assumed Yamato had noticed Timmy's trainers resting in the small lobby. He was observant like that.

The moment Yamato stepped into the room he took one look at Taichi's pale face, then cursed deeply under his breath. He dropped the bags of shopping clutched in his hands onto the floor, not even flinching at the heavy thuds they made as they landed by his feet.

Yamato's vein on the side of his forehead twitched profusely whilst his eyes focused on Timmy, who still had his hand resting protectively on Taichi's shoulder. Of all the people to reveal his sordid secret... Why did it have to Timmy?

"What have you told him?" Yamato demanded in a deep authoritative tone as he marched over to Timmy.

"Everything he deserved to know," He growled as he lifted his hand from Taichi's shoulder, preparing himself for the upcoming verbal onslaught. Panic crept through Taichi's body when he recalled the New Year's Eve when Yamato and Timmy had fought. He prayed for that not to happen again.

"We all have dirty laundry," Yamato snarled as he grabbed the article clutched in Taichi's hands, "nice of you to air mine."  
Timmy scowled; his frustration clearly building.

"Some of us may have secrets, but fucking hell, Ishida; I've never heard of _any _like this before." He could not grasp how Yamato was quite frankly still alive, particularly after discovering the long shameful list of things the blond had apparently experience when he was younger.

"I did some bad things in the past which I regret, so what?" Yamato sneered. He tossed the article back onto the table, "Everyone deserves a second chance."

Timmy's lips parted slightly before he let out an exasperated sigh of disbelief.

"Bullshit. You might be on the straight and narrow now, but what's to stop you slipping back into your old ways? What's to stop you from hurting Taichi?" He slammed his palm down on the table as he body shook violently, "I can't let that happen!"

"This has _nothing _to do with you!" Yamato cried back, his voice cracking with frustration on the last couple of words.

As Yamato and Timmy continued to fire snide comments towards one another, Taichi jumped up to his feet. He was not quite sure how to intervene, but he cared for both boys gravely and he could not sit around and let them hurt each other again.

"Shut up you two!" Taichi finally snapped, before he placed a hand against his forehead, "I'm sick of always hearing you two fighting! Why can't you just get along?"

Immediately both sets of eyes fell onto him, seemingly angry to begin with, but then they softened when they noticed the fearful expression stricken across Taichi's face.

"Isn't it obvious?" Timmy growled back, a vulnerable glimmer present in his eyes, "I love you more than he ever will".

He snatched the printed articles from the table and marched out the flat, dramatically slamming the door behind him once he had half-shoved his trainers on. The sound of the door banging against the doorframe resounded throughout the flat for several seconds, before leaving Taichi and Yamato in a thick and heavy mist of silence. They could not even look each other in the eye, knowing all too well something would have to be said.

When Yamato had finished scooping up the scattered items of shopping off from the floor and had placed them onto the table, Taichi loudly cleared his cluttered throat and spoke up over the piercing silence.

"So, was this your secret?"

Yamato did not even so much as flinch whilst he fished into his pocket and swiftly tugged out a nearly empty packet of smokes.

"One of them I guess."

Taichi's heart thumped harshly against his chest as if it had just been thrown up against a brick wall. He watched in disbelief as Yamato lit up a cigarette and discarded the packet and his lighter onto the table.

"Only one?" Taichi could not hide the bereavement in his voice; what possibly else could Yamato even have to hide? Nothing could be worse than what Yamato had gone through for the majority of his life.  
"It's the only one you'll ever need to know." Yamato's response was delayed, but it signalled he was not willing to confess to the other demons that haunted his past. Taichi knew not to press; some things were always better left unsaid. Still, as he pinched the bridge of his nose, he struggled to conceal his worry.

"This isn't what I expected," Taichi sighed, his hand now subconsciously tracing along the length of his arm. "I only thought you _might_ have dabbled with a little bit of drink and drugs, perhaps had a few run-ins with the law. I never for one moment suspected you had _sold_ yourself, your body, and at such a young age..."

"Times were tough, I did what I had to," Yamato fired back without a moment's hesitation, although there was not a trace of pride in his abrupt tone. He had rehearsed the scenario in his head for a long time, Taichi realised. Yamato never liked being caught off-guard; it was one of his strongest pet hates. This is why he had anticipated such responses and questions, and had already planned out his answers.

The ticking coming from the nearby clock in the kitchen seemingly penetrated the tense atmosphere as each second continued to roll by. In that time Yamato drew in two deep breaths of cigarette smoke then exhaled out slowly, anticipating whatever Taichi was planning on asking next.

"I saw Kazu's name mentioned in one of the articles," Taichi revealed, his nails digging into the side of his arm as he said the name of Yamato's ex-boyfriend. "How is he involved in all this? When did you meet him?" The questions that had been polluting his mind ever since Timmy had shown him the articles just fired rapidly out from his mouth with little resilience.

Yamato flinched as if he had just stubbed his toe against an inanimate object and an almost inaudible sigh of pain eased its way out of his parted cherry lips. Anything involving Kazu was a delicate subject, but he was aware he had to unravel the ball of secrets he had kept stashed away in the dark cupboard of his mind for far too long.

"After I got out of juvenile prison I was placed into a care home, but I was still a mess- still addicted to the drugs that had a huge hold on my life- and the only way I knew how to make cash was selling my body," Yamato spoke in a disgusted tone as he wiggled his cigarette between his index and middle fingers. He did not want to know what Taichi was thinking, and he dreaded seeing how he would react.

"One night I was out on the streets when two men approached me. They were probably only in their late twenties and jacked up to their eyeballs on something, but they asked me how much a quick fuck would be. In hindsight I should have ran away then and there, but it had been so long since my last hit, all I could think about was the money I could get from them."

Taichi was wincing in discomfort already. Sadness burnt through Yamato's veins, but he was aware he could not shelter Taichi from the truth any longer. He owed Taichi this, especially after Timmy had triggered this whole fiasco by opening up the can of worms _he _should have smashed open several months ago.

"When I told them my price one of them started to laugh, and then the other just punched me in the face. After that I was dazed as they dragged me away from the safety of the streetlights..." Yamato swallowed the lump that was creeping up his aching throat. "They took my money and emergency phone, and then they raped me, beat me, and left me bleeding in an alleyway. Somehow I was able to stand up and limp out back towards the open street. That was how I met Kaz. He was buskin on the pavement. For several minutes I just hid round the corner, listening to his music. He was a violinist, very talented at that."

Yamato smirked as he reminisced on that moment. Kazu's eyes had been closed and his nose was scrunched up in concentration as he played a melancholy tune which Yamato did not recognize. Kazu's lullaby. Bizarrely, for a few moments, Yamato forgot entirely about his current predicament. The young musician had him hypnotized and wrapped snugly in a soothing euphoric bubble. It was one of the most powerful drugs he had ever experienced.

Of course, the pain of Yamato's injuries eventually became too agonizing to block out, knocking him thoroughly out from his sedated state. He had no choice but to stumble out completely from the shaded alleyway. Despite feeling groggy and dazed, he caught his reflection in a blacked out tinted car window. His shirt had been torn off during the attack; the entirety of his chest and back were covered in angry red scratches and purple bruised marks. What was left of his trousers hung partly around his waist, and in tatters over his decrepit trainers.

The most excruciating part was trying to familiarize himself with his own face. The image staring back at him was like looking at a complete stranger. His pale face was covered in a vibrant display of swollen bruises and blood; he could barely see out of his right eye because it was so puffed out. There was no doubt that his eye socket was broken, and judging by the piercing pain running through his jaw, that had been busted too.

Predictably, Kazu's bright green orbs widened seconds after they snapped open and saw Yamato staggering towards him.

"Poor kid was petrified when he saw me. Still, he helped me…" Yamato's voice drifted off as he scratched his hand against the crown of head, making a small mess of his usual immaculately styled hair. It was unnecessary to tell Taichi what had followed that night, and over the duration of the next few months. All that mattered was the conclusion.

"What happened to him?" Taichi asked in a reluctant tone. Yamato gnawed on the end of his cigarette as he breathed in a lungful of smoke. His eyes were clearly watering, yet he managed to hold back his tears.

"He was murdered. Murdered by a man called Zenaku." Yamato stubbed his cigarette out against the ashtray then bravely looked Taichi in the eyes. "He's a dangerous guy, and I supposedly owe him some money."

Taichi instantly arched an eyebrow the very instance Yamato had said that last word.

"Money? What do you owe him money for?"

Yamato opened his jaw for a moment, hesitating to reveal yet another secret.

"I took it... stole it from him."

There was another long pause of silence. Taichi scratched the back of his neck whilst his eyebrows furrowed in obvious contemplation. His arm then flopped back down by his side.

"Shit, Yamato, why did you even..."

"What the fuck would you know?" Yamato hissed defensively, "I needed that money."

The reasoning behind why Yamato had stolen the money was more than logical; Taichi had managed to work that out. Obviously though, there was one particular question burning on his mind.

"How much, Yama? How much did you steal?"

Taichi watched intently as Yamato immediately grinded his teeth against his bottom lip whilst he drummed his index and middle fingers against his right temple.

"Enough for a new guitar, my car, University fees and accommodation, and..." Yamato's voice abruptly trailed off. Taichi's face turned deathly pale. Finally something had clicked into place. His disbelieving eyes scanned across the room, soaking in every little element that surrounded them. Suddenly it did not seem as glamorous or special as it once was.

"This flat," Taichi completed the sentence Yamato had chosen to discard just moments ago. The older man slowly nodded his head. An aggravated sigh tumbled out of Taichi's mouth. He brushed his hand across his forehead and tore his gaze away from Yamato, with his hand now resting on his own cheek. In that time he heard the shuffle of Yamato's feet and legs crossing the room, assumingly heading towards the front door.

"I thought I knew you," Taichi uttered silently in a disheartened voice.

If that statement had come from anyone else, Yamato would have coldly laughed before leaving the room; the true actions of a disliked villain in a film or a novel. Hearing Taichi say those words made him realise just how corrosive it had been, keeping so much secret from his closest friend. If anything, Taichi was the one who had the right to laugh sardonically to his heart's content.

"I understand if you want fuck all to do with me now, but I did warn you." Yamato slumped down weakly onto the sofa, and his body was trembling and his teeth were quietly chattering together. He needed more nicotine but because of the constricting sensation wrapped around his chest, he lacked the strength to stand up and snatch his cigarettes and lighter from the table.

Taichi spun around, facing the direction of the sofa, revealing his quivering eyes to Yamato.

"This is a lot to take in, surely you understand that?"

Yamato nodded his head before answering, "of course."

His gaze remained fixed on Taichi's worried facial expression. He brushed aside a few strands of hair hanging over his left eye.

"I understand if you don't trust me or if you're frightened of getting hurt..."

"I'm not frightened," Taichi immediately interrupted in a harsh voice, still staring intently at Yamato, "not of you, or anyone else, or even what could happen to me." His tone then softened. "I'm just scared you're gonna get hurt."

Yamato momentarily closed his eyes, the corner of his mouth levitated into a subtle smirk. How typical it was of Taichi to put others before himself. From the beginning he had been selfless, despite being a little bit obnoxious. No one was perfect though, and Yamato was definitely a suitable example to represent that fact.

"Come here," Yamato muttered softly under his breath, his arm stretched out whilst his hand gestured for the brunette to join him. Taichi immediately dashed over and fell into Yamato's waiting arms. Despite he had done little physical activity that day, he strangely felt drained of energy, especially when Yamato hugged him tighter than usual. Taichi nuzzled against the small recess between Yamato's shoulder and the nook of his neck, savouring his sweet homely scent.

"I want you to move away," Yamato instructed, his fingers tracing against the back of Taichi's neck, "temporarily."

"Why?" An offended expression was stricken across Taichi's rugged face, although he knew all too well that Yamato could not see it with his chin resting on his lover's shoulder.

"I don't want you ending up like Kaz," Yamato responded bluntly, the pain was evident in his voice. His fingers curled protectively around the wisps of Taichi's soft brown hair at the back of his head. Taichi could feel the urgency and neediness in Yamato's involuntary actions. He knew then and there that he had to defy Yamato's wishes.

"No," Taichi murmured into Yamato's shoulder, "I'm not running! I want to stay with you, no matter what."

Taichi lifted his head and gazed directly into Yamato's watering eyes. He was so vulnerable; he always had been from the start. That ice cold exterior was just a flimsy barrier Yamato had created in order to shield himself from any further pain and anguish. Taichi had managed to slip past that tough, yet fragile, exterior and had slowly thawed and chiselled it away over the past several months.

"So stubborn, as always," Yamato teased as he placed one hand against Taichi's cheek, ignoring the silent tears that were falling from the corner of his eyes. He gently tilted Taichi's head upwards and forced their lips together. The kiss was desperate and somewhat necessary after everything that had happened over the past couple of hours.

There was a lot of take in, but Taichi believed that if their relationship could survive such a devastating blow, they could surely handle anything else that was to come.

Living in fear, it was something Yamato could no longer do alone. If Taichi wanted to stay, he vowed to do his upmost to make sure no harm would ever come to him or his family when judgement day was to arrive in November.

* * *

D-Angel: Eeeep, the end is approaching. I pretty much have the last four chapters planned out, and some are even partly written, although even I am intrigued to see where my own imagination is going to take me in the end. We will see, I guess! As for my other current works, rest assure I am working on these too. Slowly, but surely. My main priority is to finish this story though, since I've been working on it for just a little over five years now. Thanks for reading what I've done so far anyways, I hoped you've enjoyed it so far (honestly I do!).

See you all next chapter sexy people!

P.S. As always, let me know if you spot any spelling/grammar mistakes. Ta!

* * *

D-Angel  
28/10/10

(1 month before I head off to Mexico!)


	14. Chapter 13: November Rain

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary: _Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: The end of this story is approaching, finally! Originally, this Chapter was going to be in Taichi's POV, but I concluded that it would be a bit confusing and somewhat unprofessional. I also had another Chapter planned before this one, but when I started writing I realised that it was unnecessary and more of a filler than anything else. Lastly, this Chapter was going to be longer, but I decided to split it into two for the whole cliffhanger tension effect, hehe.

Anyways, thank you kindly for your reviews so far. Please read on and enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 13 November Rain

* * *

Yamato was addictively irresistible, or at least that was what Taichi had grown to learn since they had been living together. There was something magical about him. From the moment they had met Taichi had been drawn towards him like a moth to a flame, not caring for one moment that there was a possibility of getting burnt.

Taichi was surprised they had been together for almost a year. A lot had happened in that small space of time, but after learning about Yamato's troubled past, he felt an intense urge to protect him and give him the affection he knew he deserved. As the months flickered by, Yamato had gradually opened up more and more. Of course he would never reveal _everything_ from his past, which Taichi didn't mind; there were always some skeletons that were best left in the closet.

A small sigh escaped from Taichi's lips as he stepped out the shower; the cool air felt like sharp razors against his skin. He grabbed a warm and fresh towel from the radiator, quickly drying himself all over before wrapping it around his waist, heading out into the living room.

Taichi's phone was resting on the coffee table next to the sofa; he glanced down at its display to check the time and date. November 1st, and it was almost 6.30pm. Last night and throughout the early hours of the morning, Yamato had been apprehensive, flinching at even the smallest creak coming from the bedsprings whenever Taichi had woken up and rolled over to check up on him. At 7am, when the morning light was shining through the flimsy curtains, Yamato climbed out of bed without breathing a word and slipped out the room just dressed in a pair of jeans.

"What's the matter?" Taichi had followed Yamato into the room next door several minutes later. Yamato was sat on the double sofa with a cigarette trapped between his lips. It took him several seconds before he glanced over at the doorway Taichi was stood at and responded to his question.

"Time's running out," Yamato spoke in a wistful voice. Taichi dug his fingernails into the palm of his hands as Yamato continued to gaze at him with piercing eyes.

"Then, let's run away," Taichi blurted out, under the pressure of listening to the hollow ticking coming from the clock in the kitchen, "Together."

Taichi watched as Yamato's hand gripped firmly onto the arm of the sofa, his teeth grinding together whilst one of his legs jiggled up and down apprehensively. It couldn't be helped; Taichi flinched as Yamato took a deep breath in before shaking his head from side to side.

"No. I'm through with that," Yamato's words should have sounded metallic, cold and dismissive, yet there was the smallest trace of emotion lingering within every syllable he uttered. "Besides, you can't leave your family, as much as it annoys you, they need you."

Taichi scratched the crown of his head, his cheeks flushing at the mention of his family. He knew he relied on them just as much they relied on him. Yamato was more than aware of that; he always knew how to force feed sense into most of Taichi's suggestions.

Almost robotically, Taichi started dragging his feet across the floor towards Yamato, until Yamato firmly said his name.

"After your lecture today go back to your Mother's house and spend the rest of the evening there. I'll come round later on," Yamato instructed with his eyes still locked onto Taichi's, who was stood motionless between the sofa and the bedroom doorway; his head swirling with heavy thoughts.

Yamato's cigarette had almost burnt down to the butt, yet he hadn't realised. Taichi was more than aware something was worrying him. Taichi did question him, asking why it was necessary for him to go to his Mum's house, but as usual Yamato's answers were sharp and vague. All Taichi knew was that Yamato wanted him out of the flat because he knew something deadly was going to happen.

Now, it was dark outside, and it was raining, a complete downpour. For that reason Taichi hadn't gone to his lecture, and because of his lazy nature he had been curled up in the warmth of his bed all day snoozing. November had never been his favourite month; to him it officially marked the beginning of winter when the sun would set long before 5pm and the weather seemed to be nothing but biting cold wind and rain.

Rain in November… November Rain, Taichi mused before chuckling- it happened to be the name of Yamato's favourite song. He had not been a big fan of Western music, until Yamato had introduced him to several bands and singers. Most the lyrics to the songs he loved were filled with poetic imagery and meaningful suggestions.

_'And when your fears subside  
And shadows still remain.  
I know that you can love me,  
When there's no one left to blame._'

As Taichi was humming the tune to Yamato's favourite song whilst watching the splotchy raindrops slide down the misted glass besides the front door, his phone rang and vibrated harshly in his hand making him jump, as if an electric shock had just shot through his fingers and up his arm. Taichi immediately answered the phone when he saw Yamato's name flashing up on the display screen.

"Yama," Taichi greeted warmly as his heart started to ease from its state of surprise.

_"__Tai, why aren'__t you at your Mum'__s?"_ Yamato's voice was shaky and laced with terror, Taichi had never heard him sound so alarmed before. His chest tightened as Yamato impatiently said his name.

"I-I overslept," Taichi admitted uneasily, wishing he had not when he heard Yamato swear loudly down the phone; not directly at Taichi, but obviously because he already knew he was in danger.

"Yama, I'm going to head over there in five minutes, I promise."

The moment the final syllable escaped from Taichi's lips a dull clinking sound resounding throughout the apartment, followed by an angry crash of thunder.

"Dammit," Taichi hissed as the lights went out and darkness enveloped him. The lightning outside had probably struck the power lines outside, he thought.

_'So never mind the darkness,  
We still can find a way.'_

_ "Stay there,"_ Yamato spoke with the sternness Taichi was familiar with whenever he was disciplined if he left his dirty clothes strewn around the apartment, "_I'm coming over to you, now."_

As the piercing dial tone replaced Yamato's fearful voice, the door swung open suddenly, slamming hard against the lobby wall. Seconds later, the lights flickered back on all at once, as if by magic. Three rain soaked men were stood at the open doorway; the shortest was stood between the two younger men. For a minute Taichi couldn't understand how they had managed to get in, until he realised that they must have known about the spare key hidden in one of the plant pots outside, besides the apartment door.

Taichi flinched as the grey headed man standing in the middle took a confident single step towards him, close enough that Taichi's nostrils could pick up his sickly strong musky scent, mingled with the aroma of fresh damp from the rainstorm outside.

_'Cause nothin' lasts forever,  
Even cold November rain.'_

Judging by the bloodthirsty look in his eyes and the deadly smirk forming on his face, Taichi knew it had to be Zenaku.

* * *

Song Lyrics

**"November Rain**" By Guns N' Roses

* * *

D-Angel: Da da daaaa! Cliffhanger! I won't leave you all hanging for long, I promise. Best get the rainproof coats and tissues ready for the next Chapter, that's all I can say. Give me a couple of weeks, and I'll see if I can have the Chapter ready for uploading. As always, dearly appreciate your feedback and messages, many thanks to those who have been patiently sticking with me and this story for over 5 years now!

See you all next chapter my lovelys!

P.S. As always, let me know if you spot any spelling/grammar mistakes. Ta!

* * *

D-Angel  
22/01/11


	15. Chapter 14: Not Like This

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary: _Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: So here's the next chapter, which was originally meant to be part of the last chapter and also in Taichi's POV, but I've changed all that now so it doesn't mess with your minds! Not much else left for me to say but read on and enjoy...

**Warnings:** Strong (ish) violence

* * *

Chapter 14  Not Like This

* * *

The taller man with short black hair standing to Zenaku's right came charging towards Taichi, the knife in his hand gleaming menacingly in the light. Before he could react, the sharp implement had sunk into his chest, instantly causing him to drop his phone as he felt the cool metal tear through flesh and muscle.

Survival instincts instantly kicked in. Taichi growled loudly and snapped his leg out at the man who had stabbed him, managing to land a powerful blow into his abdomen. The man fell backwards and landed heavily on his rear whilst he clutched his hands against his stomach, struggling to catch his breath.

"Bad move." Snatching the knife from his winded companion, Zenaku lunged towards Taichi as he scrambled backwards towards the sofas. Despite he'd been stabbed, a burst of energy had come from nowhere, screaming at him that he _had_ to stay on his feet, although his legs were beginning to feel like jelly.

Zenaku managed catch him with the knife several more times, slashing the blade across his exposed skin as he tried to use his arms to block each strike he made. Taichi tried ducking and darting between the furniture, even shoving the coffee table over in an attempt to stall Zenaku and his other henchman as he frantically pondered what he was going to do to survive. During the commotion his towel fell from his body causing him to trip up and fall over backwards onto the floor. Stars danced in front of his eyes as the back of his head thudded against the laminated floorboard.

A loud rumble of thunder penetrated through the atmosphere as all three men loomed over Taichi and snickered at his predicament. He tensed his body, predicting the onslaught of kicks and punches they rained down onto him. His bones were bruised, some even broken, from the violent beating and his body was moist with an unpleasant mixture of blood and sweat.

It was fortunate Taichi shielded his face as they threw a photo frame at him with such force that the glass smashed against his arms, slicing his flesh like mini razorblades.

Another two or three frames were tossed against his battered body, as well as a few other solid objects, before the taller men lifted him up and carried him into the bedroom and dropped him onto the floor besides the bed. A grunt fell from Taichi's lips as a boot crashed into the side of his body, forcing him to roll onto his back.

Zenaku entered the room minutes later, the knife from earlier still held in his gloved hand, the blade covered in dark red blood.

"Yamato isn't here," Zenaku informed the other two men, his glance then fell down to Taichi who was gazing up blankly at the lampshade dangling from the ceiling. "I doubt he planned to use his lover as a scapegoat, he'll be here soon." A confident tone lingered on the end of each word.

Taichi closed his eyes, swallowing back the increasing pain from his injuries as he grew aware of Zenaku crouching down beside him with a pitiful expression lurking on his face. The balding man then spoke in a low patronizing tone.

"Try not to die just yet. I want you to see me kill Yamato."

A chill etched down Taichi's spine as Zenaku brushed his leathery gloved hand against the young man's unscathed cheek. "You're a good looking lad you know? It's such a shame you got involved in all this."

Zenaku quickly retracted his hand and raised to his feet, dangling the knife above Taichi's head teasingly, the blade merely swaying like a pendulum as he watched the burning flames of hatred dance within the wounded man's eyes. Taichi had never truthfully felt the urge to kill before until that very moment.

Gripping properly onto the knife's handle once more, Zenaku broke eye contact with Taichi and turned away, ordering his companions to follow him. The three of them left the room, turning off the light before they closed the door, leaving Taichi in an unwanted darkness.

Taichi listened intently to the sound of the men shuffling across to the other side of the flat- heading towards either the kitchen or bathroom. Once they had faded, he carefully rolled onto his side. With one mighty push he managed to sit himself up, instantly biting down on his saliva soaked inner-cheek to prevent a cry of anguish from seeping out his mouth.

His heart was pounding loudly as he feebly sat up and edged towards the wall behind me, holding back his sobs as he put pressure on his injured body. Blood was pumping too fast through his veins and gradually oozing out from his knife wounds at a deadly rate, thanks to the adrenalin searing through his body. As his vision started to blur, he no longer favoured the odds of turning this situation around to his advantage. He thought that it was the end…

It was the sound of footsteps crunching against broken glass followed by a panicked voice calling his name that stopped Taichi from drifting into unconsciousness then and there. He quickly snapped open his heavy eyelids.

" No," he muttered as he saw Yamato's fuzzy silhouette standing at the doorway his hand ready to switch on the light. Taichi didn't want Yamato to see him in such a fragile state, but there was nothing he could do as his lover gasped and suddenly ran over to where Taichi was slumped and dropped to his knees.

Using his lighter, Yamato studied Taichi's face first before he analysed the rest of his body. Initially his lips parted in surprise when he noticed he was naked, but then the terror that spread across his face when he saw the blood and forming bruises spread across his chest. When his bright blue eyes met Taichi's again the brunette realised they were watering.

"Yama." After saying his name Taichi coughed up a mouthful of metallic tasting fluid, which thanks to his state took him several seconds to realise what it was. Taichi refused to panic however, Yamato was distressed enough as it was and he did not want to make things even worse by causing a fuss.

Yamato stretched out and managed to move Taichi's body onto his lap, so that the back of his head was resting against his shoulder.

"Shh, it's ok Chi," he reassured. Of course they both knew it wasn't. Taichi was unable to prevent the sobs escaping from the depth of his burning throat, especially when the raw aching pain from each and every injury hit him all at once.

"It hurts," Taichi whispered, unable to prevent the tone of distress from dominating his voice as one of his hands grabbed onto Yamato's soaking wet t-shirt. Yamato held Taichi back as each and every breath became more of a struggle for him.

"I'm sorry, Tai," he stuttered before he started to sob in anguish, "I dragged you into all this."

Taichi frowned. In his eyes, what Yamato was saying was ridiculous. Taichi wasn't a child; he had made his own decisions. He had wanted to get close to Yamato, even if it meant death. In his eyes, Yamato had nothing to apologise for. If anything Taichi believed it was his fault for not heading over to his Mum's apartment when Yamato had told him to do. Then again, Zenaku was so thirsty for revenge; Taichi reckoned not a lot would have prevented him from eventually cornering Yamato…

Taichi twisted his body round so he was facing Yamato despite the pain was agonizing.

"Yamato…" Taichi coughed again and a crippling sensation lashed across his chest.

"Shh, relax," Yamato ran a hand across Taichi's back, rubbing it back and forth between his shoulder blades. Taichi perched his chin on Yamato's shoulder but refused to close his eyes again, afraid that if he did he wouldn't open them again. "You need to save your strength."

Taichi flinched when he heard the scuffle of footsteps and murmuring voices coming from the other side of the door. Their time together was up. A tidal wave of thoughts crashed through his mind. How would his family cope without him? Especially Hikari. He wondered if Daisuke would continue to stand by Hikari's side and protect her on his behalf. And Yamato. Yamato _had _to survive, after all he had been through while growing up he didn't deserve his story to end here.

"Yama, y-you've gotta leave…," Taichi muttered the best he could, though he could feel himself becoming weaker by the second. Yes- he was scared about dying, but he was more scared about them hurting Yamato.

"Hang in there, Chi…" Yamato's voice was feeble but stricken with emotion.

"Yama…Go, else they'll get you too. Go…Q-quickly…"

Taichi was fading; his vision growing hazier by the second…

"No, I'm not leaving you," Yamato hissed through gritted teeth.

'Typical Yamato,' Taichi mused, 'stubborn and rebellious, similar to me in some ways.'

That's what had drawn him to Yamato in the first place; their fateful meeting on the University campus's common. Taichi laced his fingers with Yamato's and savored his warmth, his tantalizing smell. Taichi never wanted to forget him. He didn't want things to end. Not like this. He wanted his happily ever after…

"I love you," Yamato whispered into Taichi's ear. He smiled through his pain. No matter how many times he said those words, they would never lose their meaning to Taichi.  
As the blackness finally took over Taichi felt as if he was sinking through Yamato's arms, down through the floor, down and down. He had no control. He could hear faded footsteps and voices, none of which he recognized. The further he continued to descend, the less audible the sound became as if someone was turning the volume down on a television set, and then…

_Bang!_

* * *

Taichi: Oh come on! Enough with the cliffhangers!

D-Angel: Hehe. It's almost the end of the story, I've got to create a dramatic effect somehow, ne?

Taichi: Eugh

D-Angel: _-Smiles- _Anyways, did you guys get a bit of déjà vu? Well you should have, the story's gone full circle now (have a look at the prologue again). There's only two actual chapters left... Or least that's the plan. Honestly though, I'm still working out the ending! It's already changed about three times. I can't decide what's going to happen, so I'm just going to write and go with the flow. Next chapter should be out in March since I want this story out the way ASAP. Thanks for all your support so far, and for the reviews :) I think I've said this before but I know this isn't my strongest of stories, but I'm determined to see it through to the end!

So yeah, see you guys next chapter!

* * *

D-Angel  
23/02/11

(Minor edits made on 24/2/11)


	16. Chapter 15: Yamato's Lullaby

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary: _Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Hola! Yes, another quick update (well, quick by my standards!). Not to confuse, but this is written in Yamato's POV, to tie in with the beginning of the story. I think the last chapter will have to be in his POV too, just to keep things somewhat tidy. You'll understand when you read on, me hopes! It's standard chapter sized as well, hoorah!

**Warnings:** Strong violence, gore, language

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Chapter 15  Yamato's lullaby

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Yamato

_All that I want is to wake up from this nightmare…_

As Tai lay motionless in my arms, a raw ache curled around the entirety of my very being. Every element of this situation down to the tiniest thread had me to blame.

Two days before the due date I had contacted Zenaku and lied about having the money. I gave him the time to meet me at the flat so we could do the exchange hassle free, although since I wasn't planning on giving him his cash, things were going to turn out messy.

Unfortunately, things didn't pan out as I anticipated. Zenaku and his boys turned up two hours early whilst Tai was still in our flat. I went round to his mother's apartment after running a few final errands around town, which was when I was told that Tai hadn't turned up. His mum and sister had assumed he was still busy with University work.

My panic easily outweighed the annoyance I partly felt when I instantly contacted Tai and he told me he had overslept and missed his lecture. He wasn't to blame though. I'd never told him the truth as to why I wanted him to go to his Mum's that evening. Perhaps things would have been different if I warned him straight up that his life was in danger.

I should have known Zenaku would have seen through my lies. The phone call I had made to him was one of my biggest regrets to this very day. I only wanted to protect Tai by doing the right thing. Sacrificing myself, it seemed like a noble decision; I had already caused more than my fair share of pain on the ones I loved. To know Tai was safe, at least I would die happy.

As Zenaku crouched down beside me pitifully watching as I tugged off my t-shirt and placed it against Taichi's battered torso, pushing hard against what I judged to be the deepest wounds, I was even more determined not to let that monster win. Taichi's injuries were now clearly illuminated in the light shining from the light bulb hovering above us, which Zenaku had switched on seconds after making his entrance, his upper body covered with angry splotches and streaks of red, black and purple.

"You think a flimsy bit of material is going to save him?" Zenaku spoke harshly, his greying lips furling up into a crooked smile, his rancid breath torturing my nostrils. "Unless he somehow receives professional medical attention within the next several minutes, he'll be joining little Kazu and the rest of your screwed up family."

I felt a vein in my neck twitch. How _dare _Zenaku have such nerve to talk like that, about the ones who had meant so much to me? Even my parents, who had been a far cry from perfect, had still been my own flesh and blood, the reason for my existence. And now the purpose of my existence was clear. He couldn't take Taichi away from me, I _wouldn__'__t_ allow it.

"Don't touch him," I growled as Zenaku moved his hand towards Taichi's neck, perhaps to check his pulse. There was no way I was going to let Zenaku get his slimy hands on my poor baby again. I dreaded to think of the things he had done to Taichi's body…

"Why should you care if I touch him? You both won't be alive for much longer." Zenaku reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small handgun. "Stand up."

I obeyed, although I was reluctant to move my hand away from the barrier stemming Taichi's bleeding. I flinched as he pressed the muzzle of his gun against my head, the cool metal prodding hard against the back of my skull. A tingle eased down my spine as I heard him flick the safety catch off, his panting growing louder and a lot more frantic. I bit my lip as his free hand slid into my trouser pocket, his fingers hooking around my wallet. It one smooth movement he tugged it out, his irritating warm breath beating against the back of my ear.

"Since you won't be needed whatever money you have left, I think it's only fair that I have it."

I gave him the pin to my account; I wasn't cracking up. Time was valuable, and he would have only beaten me up for it. Beaten me up for a pin to access an empty bank account.

"Kiling you is just going to be like killing a stray dog," Zenaku chuckled as he dug the gun's muzzle harder against my skull. "No one's truly going to give a fuck about it. Who exactly do you have left that cares?"

I realised what he was doing, but it wasn't going to work. Not this time. I had a plan; perhaps it was slightly irrational, but it was worth a shot.

"Please," I pleaded, my eyes locked onto my electric guitar case poking out from underneath the bed, "let me play one last song."  
Immediately, I felt Zenaku's grip loosen on the gun's handle, although he kept the muzzle buried into the back of my head. He had always been aware of my interest in music. Whilst grooming me as a child, he bought me a pricey acoustic guitar. The very first and last present he ever got me. I started to play it for him when he was stressed out or angry since it occasionally prevented him from lashing out at me and the other boys he prostituted for money.

He eventually sold that guitar for drug money, but I saved up and bought my own and kept it in my Dad's flat, until he and my brother died. That guitar then got taken away from me too.

"I suppose there's time," Zenaku decided, although there was a small trace of uncertainty in his hoarse voice. Still, he moved the pistol away from my head. My eyes followed him with the weapon held down by his side as he stepped over Taichi and marched over to my guitar case. After crouching down and pulling it out from its case, he stood up and thrust the object at me.

"Play," Zenaku commanded. As my fingers curled around the instrument I tried my hardest to contain my emotions. Despite it was something I had perfected as a child, I was now struggling to hold up the façade. This guitar, my beautiful Yamaha Pacifica, had been a birthday gift from Kazu. I cradled it carefully in my arms.

My fingers ran along the bumpy frets and I shut my eyes. I was going to miss playing and performing, but no more than I was going to miss hearing Taichi's infectious laughter and see his heart-warming smile. Overrun by a flurry of inner emotions, my hands corresponded with my thoughts and played a familiar slow melancholy song. Every note, every bar, they came naturally to me. It took me a few seconds to twig, but then I realised why the song was so recognisable; I was playing the same song Kazu had played on his violin the night I'd first met him

"It's a shame I have to kill you. Such a waste of talent." Zenaku's voice was void of malice or aggression. My fingers gradually started to slow as they tapped across the frets of my guitar.

"It is, isn't it?" I said rhetorically. Zenaku's eyes were glazed over, he was in the same sedated trance I had been the night I had heard Kazu play that song. I knew it was now or never. In a split second, I dropped my guitar onto the bed and pounced at Zenaku like a hungry lion, using my entire body weight in order to send him crashing down underneath me. As he hit the floor, his eyes bulged out from their sockets as my knees dug into his ribcage, and an exasperated gasp fell out from his mouth.

I scrambled back on my shaky feet whilst Zenaku was on his back sprawled out breathlessly on the floor, as vulnerable as a flipped over tortoise. I didn't plan on wasting a second. A grin crept across my face as I quickly snatched my guitar from the bed and moved both hands up onto the neck of the sturdy instrument. I held on tight, before swinging it down towards his petrified face. I relished the dull cracking noise that followed, similar to that of an egg hitting the side of a mixing bowl.

A scowl replaced my smile whilst I lifted my guitar back up, my eyes purposely avoiding the damage I had done before I swung the instrument downwards once again. I repeated the same action two or three more times, and by that point my hands and guitar were sticky with blood and fuck knows what else. I wasn't actually satisfied until I finally paused to glance down at the bloodied mess where Zenaku's head had once been.

Electric guitar versus the human skull; safe to say, my guitar had been the victor.

Emotionally exhausted, the dented bloody instrument fell out my hands, landing heavily by my feet with a resounding clunk. There was no time to reflect. Two tall men dressed in matching black trousers and white shirts came stumbling through the doorway. Clearly they had been on the lookout whilst Zenaku was meant to _deal _with me. It all made sense; Zenaku wouldn't have had the guts to come here alone, conclusively proving that he had been a coward through and through.  
They both glanced at me, then down at the floor where there decapitated master was. A panicked cry flew out from the man, with greasy scraped back hair, that was stood on the left, before he spun around and disappeared from the room, his feet crunching on the broken glass as he made his escape from the flat.

The other guy, clearly the bolder of the two, stayed put. I had recognised him instantly the moment he had stepped into room, despite his solemn dark brown eyes had aged dramatically over the years, his face was puffy and deep wrinkles now plagued his forehead. Yoshida Michio had once been semi-attractive, but quite obviously drugs and drink had piled years onto his looks; it was difficult to believe he was only five or so years older than me.

"Don't think you'll be getting away with this, Ishida."

That was when I noticed the blade he was holding, there was such confidence stretched across his face it made me sick to my stomach. He had been one of Zenaku's favourite boys back in those dark days, always eager to please him. We'd all had the same mentality at one point, only difference was the rest of us had eventually grown up and realised we were just being exploited.

Now, I needed something to defend myself with. I briefly glanced at the floor, eyes scanning for something that would help. The gun! It was still in Zenaku's hand. Knowing that there wasn't a moment to lose, I dived down onto the ground. It wasn't difficult to snatch the object from his loose grasp, just as Michio came charging at me.

Unable to roll completely out the way in time I held back a sob as a harsh burning pain tore through my muscles and nerves as the knife sunk through the back of my thigh, so deeply in fact that it remained lodged there as I swung the rest of my body towards Taichi's.

Now unarmed I hoped Michio would give up, but I should have realised he had a bit more fight left in him. Zenaku had meant the world to him, like Taichi meant the world to me.

As I reached down to remove the knife from my leg Michio's weight smashed down on top of me, forcing me onto my back. His hands wrapped tightly around my throat, his stubby fingers dug stubbornly into the skin as I gargled in desperation. Instinctively, my empty hand shot upwards to his bear-like hands which were ruthlessly crushing my windpipe. My eyes bugged out from their sockets, my body was shaking violently desperate for oxygen, whilst he continued to squeeze the life out from me with a demented grin pasted upon his badly aged face.

I couldn't remove Michio's hands away with my own. His strength was far superior.

As my limbs started to thrash about against my will he smashed the back of my head against the floor, setting off a loud shrilling noise similar to that of a flat line, which started to penetrate through my skull.

In the meanwhile, I still had hold of the gun somehow; Michio was too focused on strangling me, his only focus set on my extermination. My finger balanced precariously on the trigger as my vision started to blur, I angled my trembling elbow in towards my body and squeezed my finger against the stiff metal catch.

_Bang!_

The gunshot rippled loudly through the room, tearing straight through the ringing in my head. I couldn't quite comprehend what had happened at first, until the recoil threw my arm back and the gun clattered pathetically onto the floor besides me. The hands around my neck automatically loosened, my windpipes freed from the clutch of death. Michio's body slumped down on top of mine, lifeless. It had been a lucky aim, the bullet apparently pierced straight through his heart. He was dead within seconds.

While coughing wildly, I automatically kicked his body off me then happily savoured the next several gulps of musky tasting air I inhaled and exhaled. The pain from the knife imbedded in my leg caused me to wince just moment later. I glanced at the object, toying with the idea of tugging it out from my thigh, knowing that if I did, blood would come seeping out thick and fast. I would hopefully die alongside Tai.

A cry of pain escaped from my mouth as I grabbed onto the handle and started to tug. Instantaneously, fresh blood started leaking from the wound, soaking fast into the fabric of my jeans.

Sirens wailed in the near distance, stopping me from pulling the blade out from my thigh any further. It was fortunate I did so. I braved to look down and fully examine Tai, something I had been frightened of doing since Zenaku had threatened me with the gun.

Against all odds, Tai's chest, it was still moving, faintly; although his skin was hauntingly pale and cold to the touch.

There was a string of hope still intact after all.

I ignored my own injury and dragged myself beside him on my knees before I resumed stemming the bleeding coming from his torso with my t-shirt. The sirens grew louder in the background. Soon frantic footsteps echoed through the apartment and panicked voices shortly filled the room, but for once my mind was completely clear.

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D-Angel: This was such a tricky chapter to write; but I got there in the end. I don't think there was any other way to do this, without disappointing my lovely readers. Bit of suspense/mystery at the end though, but naturally the following chapter will iron all those bumpy knots of uncertainty out! I'll probably look into rewriting a few bits in this chapter here and there, and I'll no doubt come across a few errors once I've re-read it a few more times.

One more chapter to follow, can you believe? I have a faint idea how to close this story, so lets see how that goes. Thanks very much for reading this story up to this point, opinions and suggestions in relation to the ending are greatly encouraged! I'll try and get crack-a-lacking on producing the final chapter as soon as possible.

Much love, and see you all at the bittersweet end!

* * *

D-Angel  
21/03/11


	17. Chapter 16: Let's go

_**Shattered Illusions**_

_Summary: _Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: And so here we are, final chapter time! Short, sweet and very much to the point. Hope you enjoy it my lovelys.

**Warnings:** The end of an era? Lol

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Chapter 16 Let's go

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Usually, the wind seemed to settle whenever I set foot into the graveyard, but this time a warming breeze danced around me, surrounding me like a bustling crowd eager to spy a particular event. The tree branches swayed silently, displaying their beautiful blossom; petals of which were starting to fall to the ground like delicate snowflakes.

I crouched down and placed a bouquet of fifteen yellow roses by his gravestone, then carefully ran my hand across the inscription.

_Kazu __Sakuma  
(Born 7__th__ June 1990, Taken away aged 14)_

'_Tread gently, a dream lies buried here__'_

It had been over a year since I'd last visited him, and for that I felt guilty. Time sure did fly by. Four years had passed after my decision to drop out of University. Despite trouble would no longer follow me, or threaten those I loved, I still craved a fresh start, and I wanted the same for Taichi. Therefore I moved away from Odaiba to Chigasaki in Kanagawa.

I took the courage to leave once I knew Tai was on the road to recovery. After that horrific night in our apartment he'd been balancing on the cusp of death. He had lost just over half the blood in his body, and Zenaku and his henchmen had broken over twenty bones in his body, including shattering several of his ribs.

His chances of survival were, according to the surgeons, slim. But I always knew Tai was a fighter. Numerous blood transfusion attempts later, his body started to accept the foreign blood flowing through his veins and arteries.

And so began his second life.

I sat by his side in that hospital, fretting too much over him to even worry about having a panic attack. He remained there for three long months whilst his injuries healed, which is why he had to repeat his first year at University. Law was just one of those subjects you can't blag your way through.

My own injuries could have proved to be fatal- a pierced artery in my leg- but fortunately the paramedics showed up, alongside the police, in the nick of time. Naturally, I was questioned when I was dismissed from the hospital, but they saw no reason to prosecute. Zenaku had a history of violence, the police were very much aware of this, so I had rightly acted in self-defence.

As for what was left of the money Zenaku had wanted back, I'd split it evenly into two separate bank accounts prior to the unforgettable day in November; one half for me, and the other for Tai.

After everything I'd put him through, he deserved it, on top of the money he gained from selling our old apartment. Despite what had occurred in that place, the flat was snapped up barely two months after it was put back onto the market by a couple who were apparently eccentric about death and ghosts and all those peculiar paranormal things.

Feeling grateful I'd been given yet another chance in life, I decided to donate part of my cash to the clinic that had helped me overcome my drug and alcohol addictions and kept the rest so I could rent out a two bedroom apartment. I realised to be happy, all that's required is to take a few chances, and never be afraid of loving.

I didn't have to glance back when I walked away from Kazu's resting place and headed back to my car, I could sense his presence by my side; proud that I had moved on, and grateful that I would never forget about him.

* * *

Guitar case hoisted over my shoulder and a lit cigarette pressed between my lips, I strolled leisurely along the pavement, my head swaying along to the personal rhythm flittering through my body from head to toe. The emptiness I was used to feeling, the emptiness I had become accustomed to, it was long gone.

Approaching the doorway to my apartment block, my key grasped in the palm of my hand, I stopped dead in my tracks and my chest tightened.

He was already there, perched on the stone steps, a suitcase straddled between his legs and a backpack slung over his shoulder. When he saw me staring, his infectious grin fell across his matured face.

Yagami Taichi; impatient as always. He wouldn't take no for an answer, even when he decided he wanted to move in with me during his final year at Uni. It was a decision even Timmy encouraged, which was naturally a shock to the system. He'd found love with James, funnily enough, so I assumed he just wanted Tai to be happy as well.

I couldn't break the promise I'd made to him when we were nineteen; showing him freedom was the best thing to do, rather than try to give him it. So now, after graduating, Tai was desperate to travel the world with me; starting with England. We had the cash, and with my flexible career as a private music tutor, we had all the time off we needed.

Experiencing new things together, it gave us both a focus.

I relaxed as I climbed the steps, crouching down so I could ruffle my hand through Tai's wild brown hair. He closed his eyes tilted his head to the side, like an affectionate kitten. He'd been traumatised by the incident with Zenaku, who wouldn't have been? But the courage he possessed seemed to override the everlasting scars that had been forged.

Now in our early twenties, we were only still young; there was a need to go travelling, to explore the places we had only ever dreamed about. Even it was only for a few months, I knew we'd make the most of it together, even if we didn't get our fairytale ending.

Any illusion can be destroyed. Even the most stunning can be shattered into the smallest of pieces. However, given the right amount of time, they could reform into something a million times durable, less prone to breaking again. I had come to the conclusion that such an illusion was worth keeping hold of.

"Come on then," Taichi beckoned, his persuasive eyes glimmering with wild passion, teamed with the keen smile of a true adventurer, "go grab your suitcase and let's go!"

* * *

Le End

* * *

D-Angel: _-Jazz hands-_ And we are done here. I thought I had to close the story in Yama's POV since that's the way I started it all! In hindsight, I wouldn't have written the first chapter in Yama's POV, but I really can't be bothered to change all that now. Also, I never really followed on with the whole Sora drugging Tai incident thingy, but let's just assume that she was disowned by everyone after she did that… Yeah :)

So, yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed the ride. Let me know what you thought of everything… I was going to go with a tragic uber sad ending originally (basically Tai or Yama, or both of them were gonna die), but I didn't want to piss you guys off!

Thought I tied everything up rather nicely _-wink-_Only took six or so years! If I think of anything more I can add to this chapter, or if anyone else is like 'so what happened to (blah)' etc… then I will make some edits.

Oh, and as for the fifteen yellow roses Yama puts on Kazu's grave, there's a signifcance. As you may or may not know, each colour rose holds specific meanings, as do the number placed in each bouquet.

Yellow - Joy, Gladness, Friendship, Delight, Promise of a new beginning, Welcome back, Remember Me, "I care" (It can sometimes represent jealously as well, but not in this instance)

Fifteen - "I'm sorry." (Aka the guilt Yama will always feel for Kazu's death)

I thought it was a sweet thing to add :)

Anyways, this means I now have time to focus on my other stories… I won't be starting any new multi-chapter fanfics, or at least I won't be posting them up on here due to being a very busy business girl most the time :(

Big thanks to _all_ my reviewers, especially **Caliboy** who kept me motivated during the last few chapters. Never thought I'd finish this story, but I got there in the end!

**Angelfish369 **and **PinkBrideGoneBad, ** so much love and a shout out to you guys as well; your constant feedback always makes me smile/proud to be a writer. Of course, I also throw out appreciation to the people who may have read every chapter and not left any reviews (I understand, I do the same, hehe).

Bonus chapter I hear you all shout out in eagerness? Well, maybe you'll be in luck. Stay tuned…

See you next bonus chapter… maybe?

* * *

D-Angel  
Story completed: 29.5.11

(Can't remember the exact start date, but it was sometime in late 2004 or early 2005)


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